Just Friends
by kmccartneyyyy
Summary: Darcy Potter returns to Hogwarts to be Snape's assistant. Lupin is told to go with her, but tells Darcy they can't be more than friends because of his new girlfriend... will they be just friends or will it prove too difficult for them?
1. The New Intern

**THE NEW INTERN.**

It had been about a year since I had seen Professor Remus Lupin. It had been about two years since I graduated from Hogwarts. Two years was too long and I hadn't even gotten a single letter. I hadn't gotten a letter from Sirius, Lupin, no one. I was stuck working a local grocery store because my aunt and uncle said it was time for me to learn to work.

Harry and I swung on the swings. It was hot out – one of the hottest days of the year. "I wish I could go back to Hogwarts," I said randomly. Harry sighed and I stopped myself on the swing.

"I wish you could come back too."

"I wish Remus would write me at least one letter."

"I wish Hermione and Ron would write me a letter."

"I wish we could live with Sirius and not the Dursley's."

"Yeah."

Harry and I sighed and we saw five boys walking our way. The front, fat one was Dudley. He crossed his arms, his shorts sagging and his hat turned sideways. He looked ridiculous and I had to look away so I wouldn't laugh.

"He squealed like a pig, didn't he, Dudley?" asked one of his friends.

"Yeah, brilliant punch, Big D," said another. "Did you see his face?"

"Hey Big D," Harry mocked him and I smiled, looking at my atrocious cousin. "Beat up some more ten year old girls?"

"This one deserved it," Dudley spat.

"Five against one," I rolled my eyes. "Very brave, Dudley."

"Like you're one to talk. I hear you moaning in your sleep every night," Dudley sneered as he turned to Harry. I remained on the seat, trying to ignore him. "He's going to kill me, _mum_. Where is your mum? Where is your mum, Potter? Is she dead?"

Harry became furious and took his wand out, sticking it under Dudley's two chins. I stood up and tried to stop him, but the sky darkened and I looked around. I took Harry's arm and Dudley's four friends panicked and began to run away. The three of us stood there, trying to fathom what was going on. Harry certainly wasn't causing it.

It began to rain hard and we began to run towards a tunnel, where we could sit and relax. Suddenly, I began to feel cold and I wrapped my arms around myself. I breathed heavily and saw my breath – it was the hottest day I had ever experienced – now it was cold? No.

Dementors swarmed us and knocked Dudley to the ground. The dementor began to suck at my face and I tried to cast a patronus, but I couldn't think of any happy memories. I was just too sad and depressed. I just couldn't do it. Dementors were my worst fear and I fainted.

I woke up hearing a woman's voice speaking clearly and loudly.

"The Ministry has received intelligence that at 6:23 this evening, you performed the Patronus charm in the presence of a Muggle. As a clear violation of the Decree for the Unreasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hoping you are well, Mafalda Hopkirk."

I opened my eyes. I was lying on the couch and Harry was standing before me. Aunt Petunia was rubbing Dudley's back, whose face was pale and sickly with dark circles under his eyes. Harry's eyes widened and when he ran upstairs to his room, Vernon grinned. I jumped off the ragged couch and ran up the stairs, following Harry.

I opened the door slowly and saw Harry bang his fists on the wall. He punched it. I was sure his knuckles were going to bleed. "Harry, calm down!" I shouted, pulling him away from the wall. I pushed him down on the small, twin sized bed. "Harry, stop it!"

"I can't calm down!" he screamed at me. "I've just been expelled! I can't stay here with these people all my life!"

"That's what I had to do!" I shouted back. Harry's breathing slowed and he relaxed on the bed. During the summer, Harry and I took turns sleeping on the bed and every two days, we'd switch to the sleeping bag on the floor. I laid down on the sleeping bag, trying to get comfortable in the ridiculous heat, and then I fell asleep.

"Very clean, these Muggles."

"Tonks, for God's sake."

"Unnatural."

I opened one eye, but saw nothing. I heard shuffling in the hallway outside the door and I grabbed my wand from the bedside table. I tapped Harry a few times and he awoke, his wand at the ready. The lock on the door turned very slowly and when the door opened, we both held our wands up at the group of people shining a light in our room.

"Professor Moody?" Harry asked. I turned to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you two, of course," he replied gruffly.

"The letter said I've been expelled."

"You haven't been, not yet," Moody explained. "Kingsley, you take point."

A big, tall, black man stepped forward and my eyes widened. Harry knew these people? "Dumbledore persuaded the Minister to extend your expulsion pending a formal hearing."

"A hearing?"

"Don't worry," said the girl with purple hair. "We'll explain everything once we get back to Headquarters."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You still in Hogwarts?" the girl named Tonks asked me. I looked at her and shook my head. I looked her over as he turned the corner. The brick building we were standing in front of began to move apart and as I looked into the windows, the Muggles inside didn't seem to notice. I gasped.

"Graduated last year, during Harry's third year," I replied and Moody pushed me and Harry inside. Moody shut the door behind us, pushing us out of the way with his giant walking stick and leading us down the hallway. Tonks followed behind him, smiling at me and Harry. Kingsley walked behind us, his footsteps about as loud as my pounding heart.

I heard voices. "No deaths, no proof."

"He almost killed Harry if that isn't proof enough."

"Yes, but guarding you-know-what is most important."

"We must trust Dumbledore on this."

We were greeted by Mrs. Weasley stepping out from a door and shutting it loudly behind her. She hugged Harry first, kissing his cheeks and then pushing him aside and hugging me tightly. She held my arms and spoke to me and my brother. "I'm so glad you two are alright!" she said, her plump cheeks both red. "Dinner will have to wait until after the meeting, I'm afraid." I opened my mouth to say something, but she wouldn't let me. "No explaining. Straight upstairs, first door on the left."

"Can I come in, Mrs. Weasley?" I asked and she raised her eyebrows as if I had asked her a personal or insulting question. Harry was already halfway up the dusty, creaky stairs. "After all, I am an adult now."

"I would allow it, but you don't really know what's going on right now," she said, still smiling. "The next meeting, maybe I'll consider it –"

"No, let her in," growled Moody from behind. Mrs. Weasley shot him an annoyed look, but Moody continued, ignoring her. "She's almost twenty years old and should be in on this. If anyone deserves to know what's going on, it's her."

"But she'll tell Harry and everyone…" It seemed like she had forgotten I was standing right in front of her. Her short arms dropped to her sides and she nodded reluctantly. "Very well, very well. Come in, then, Darcy."

I turned back to Moody and smiled big at him and a small smile tugged at his lips as he pushed me inside the kitchen. I looked at all the people sitting there, beginning at the end of the table. Mrs. Weasley sat down beside her husband, who was seated beside Tonks. Across the table from Tonks was Snape and I raised an eyebrow. Kingsley sat beside him and across from Kingsley was Lupin. My heart pounded against my throat. There were a few unfamiliar faces and Moody pushed me further into the room as he sat down beside Kingsley.

"Darcy Potter," said an unusually calming voice. I looked to my right, where I hadn't looked before and I grinned as the door shut behind me. Sirius had stood up at the end of the table and held his arms out in front of him. I walked towards him and fell into his embrace, hugging him tightly. He cleaned up nicely and smelled good. He pulled away after a few seconds and held me at arm's length, examining me. He walked over to the side of the table, pulling out the only empty seat beside Lupin for me. I hesitantly sat down beside him and Sirius pulled up another chair for himself so he could sit beside me.

Everyone was silent as I looked around. Lupin was sitting up straight, his hands folded in front of him on the table. He was staring at his hands and didn't even acknowledge me. I looked at Sirius again, hoping he'd fill me in on what was going on.

"Now, Darcy, you believe Harry, don't you? You know that Voldemort is back?" Sirius asked quietly and Mrs. Weasley flinched at the sound of the name. I nodded. "I feel I need to address this first. We all know that you wanted to become an Auror –"

"I don't anymore," I said after a short pause. "Dumbledore told me about the Order and I told him I'd join instead." Snape narrowed his eyes at me as if he was having trouble believing I was sitting between his two old enemies.

"That's the thing," Sirius began again. "We, as the Order, feel that it's too dangerous for you to join. You could be put in serious danger. You could lead them all straight to us."

"And you realize they're going to be keeping a sharp eye on you even more than usual because Sirius is your godfather? We don't think you should become an Auror, either." Lupin kept his eyes on his hands as he spoke, not even looking up to face me.

I breathed a deep breath out my nose and traced my top teeth with my tongue. "You're the one who told me to become an Auror in the first place. You told me that I shouldn't have said no," I protested, more than furious. "Moody is an Auror! And so is Tonks! And Kingsley! I don't understand why I can't be one!"

"Because we can't risk putting you into that kind of danger," Moody added. "If you become an Auror or join the Ministry in any way, you'd be dangling yourself in front of Voldemort."

I sighed and Sirius gripped my shoulder reassuringly. It didn't help much, but it was a bit comforting. "Don't you guys think I could pass the test? Is that it? You don't want me to embarrass myself?"

"That's not it at all!" Mrs. Weasley interrupted and I looked up at her. Her eyes were wide, her face redder than ever.

"Miss Potter, there is no denying that you are a –" Snape hesitated and put both hands on the table, looking straight at me with his cold, dark eyes. "Brilliant witch. I'm sure Lupin agrees with me." He said it oddly, scrunching his face at the man next to me. Lupin simply nodded.

"The circumstances just aren't good," Moody snapped and he shook his head slowly. "That's probably why Dumbledore told you about the Order."

"I don't understand," I breathed heavily. "Dumbledore told me about the Order in my last year at Hogwarts and this past year, you've kept me and Harry in the dark! He was the one who saw Voldemort return and don't you think it'd be a good idea to help us stay protected and at least let us know what's going on?" I groaned when everyone stayed silent. All eyes were on me, except for Lupin's. "Not a scrap of news!"

"For once in her life, Darcy is speaking sense," Snape said suddenly. "Listen carefully because I will probably never stand up for Darcy ever again, but she deserves to know the truth, Black. You can't expect to leave the Potter's in the dark without answers. They are the ones who are in the most danger."

I stared at Snape, a smile forming on my face. He had never stood up for me before. I looked at Sirius and saw he was staring at the ground. Everyone avoided eye contact and I think they all knew that Snape was right. "Please tell me," I begged Sirius.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Sirius asked after a moment's silence.

"Everything. Why wouldn't you tell me anything?"

"Dumbledore made Ron and Hermione swear not to tell you anything," he told me. "And I'm London's – the world's – most wanted criminal – I can't just go out and tell you, yeah? I guess he didn't want you to worry too much."

"WORRY ME?" I screamed and Sirius flinched. Everyone jumped, a little startled. "MY BROTHER WAS ALMOST KILLED BY VOLDEMORT AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE TO HELP HIM! WHY THE FUCK DOES DUMBLEDORE THINK THAT WAS A BLOODY GOOD IDEA?"

"Darcy, language…" Mrs. Weasley began, but she soon fell quiet, knowing she couldn't stop me.

"Perhaps," Snape began yet again. "It would be safest for Miss Potter to return to Hogwarts this year with her brother."

"And do what? Nothing the whole year? Sit in a room?" Mrs. Weasley sneered, standing up to fix some salad for dinner. "Absolutely not. She can stay with us."

"No," Lupin cut in finally. "She can't stay with you because then she'd be saying goodbye to her home with the Muggles. Since Harry is still underage and has his mother's spell still on him, as long as Darcy is in that house – as long as it is still her home, she is safe. I think Hogwarts is a better idea."

"I could go with her," Tonks said. "It'd be even safer with another Auror there."

"You and your clumsiness?" Snape snorted and Tonks frowned. "Maybe I could invite Darcy back as my assistant. An intern? She did do exceedingly well in potions. One of the best and I'll admit it."

"Must have gotten it from Lily," Sirius grinned at me and Snape's face fell. "I think that's a good idea, Snivellus. But I think someone should at least go to look after her." For some reason, his voice sounded sad and disappointed.

"I said I'd go," Tonks said again, rolling her eyes. "I don't mind it."

"Remus should go too," Moody suggested. "Dumbledore already knows and trusts him." My heart sank to my stomach and I looked at Sirius, who was nodding. Were they setting me up?

"And you, Mad-Eye," Mr. Weasley said. "Another Auror. Plus, I think Dumbledore would be glad to have the real you at Hogwarts this year."

"Me?" Moody snorted. "I think two people protecting her will be enough. I have other important things to take care of."

"And protecting Darcy isn't important?" Sirius snapped.

"I assure you, Black, Darcy will be perfectly safe," Snape said coldly, but Sirius ignored him. For once, I wished that they actually listened to my old Potions Master.

"We all know she is important!" Moody responded and I looked up at him, his real eye glaring at Sirius, but his magical eye looking at me. "But don't you think some of us Aurors should be looking for Voldemort?"

"I will be doing that," Kingsley finally said. "Sirius is right – you should be going with Darcy."

Mrs. Weasley smiled at me when she noticed my discomfort and awkwardness.

"So that's settled then," Sirius sighed. "But there is one more thing I wanted to tell you…" Everyone looked at him, confused. Even Lupin looked at my godfather. "We think Voldemort is trying to get to something… Like a weapon. Something he didn't have last time."

"When he was powerful before?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Like what kind of weapon?"

"That's enough," Mrs. Weasley said and everyone looked up. Her arms were crossed and she looked furious. "You should go upstairs. Dinner will be ready in a little bit."

"But I – you can't do that!" I began.

"Watch me," she snarled. She was trembling slightly as she looked at Sirius, who just shrugged. "You've given her enough information. Anymore and you might as well induct her into the Order straightaway!"

"Why not?" I said quickly. "I want to join. I want to fight."

"No," said Lupin immediately. We stared at each other for the first time that night. I breathed in deeply and let it out angrily, but he remained calm. "The Order is compromised of overage wizards and –"

"I am overage!"

"There are dangers involved of which you can have no idea, Darcy. You are still too young."

"I obviously wasn't too young for you," I said under my breath and his face turned red. I stood up and walked past Mrs. Weasley and ran up the two flights of stairs, passing a horrid looking house elf. I opened the first door on the left.

Fred and George hugged me first, followed by Hermione, Ginny, and then Ron. "Well?" Fred asked. "What'd they say? Mum won't let us in."

"Snape wants me to come back to Hogwarts as an intern."

"Brilliant!" said George. "For who?"

"For Snape."

"Snape? _Snape_?" Ron asked it a thousand times before he shook his head. "Why Snape? Out of all people? Why not someone else? Like McGonagall – she'd be better than Snape!"

"Do you see McGonagall down there? I'm fucking lucky that Snape even suggested it," I replied coldly, still angry from what Lupin had said to me. "I think it's a fine idea, besides the fact that Lupin has to come with me."

Hermione's eyes widened. "He's coming back to Hogwarts? Do you think Dumbledore will let him? Do you think he'll want to? Some people know about his – his disease!"

"It's not a disease," I snapped and she looked defeated. "It's just a – slight problem and he didn't say anything about not wanting to go back to Hogwarts! I mean, where else does he have to go? And I'm sure that Dumbledore would let him back if it means protecting me… right? Besides, he's not the only one coming back."

"Who else is, then?" Ginny asked.

"Tonks and Mad-Eye."

"Mad-Eye? But after what happened last year, that – that is insane," Harry began to pace back and forth and I sat on the bed, crossing my legs.

"I'd rather be at Hogwarts than with the Dursley's, though," I said quietly. "Even if it means I have to be stuck with Lupin all year. What if I get all the shit I got at the end of last year? I certainly don't want to hear all that again."

Fred and George sat by my side, wrapping their arms around my shoulders. "You'd be an intern, though. You could give people detentions and punish them."

"Like that'll stop them. I wouldn't want to sit with those brats for more than ten minutes!" I said. We heard shuffling outside the door and I knew Mrs. Weasley had been listening. She knocked finally.

"Dinner's ready, everyone. Come downstairs."

The footsteps went away and down the stairs. "Mum doesn't trust us at all," Ron said quietly, when he knew that his mother had walked away. "She's always spying and trying to listen to our conversations. It's annoying!"

"She's only trying to make sure you're safe," Hermione sighed and all the Weasley kids groaned. "Maybe we should just go down for dinner." When I didn't move from the bed, she turned to me from the doorway. "Coming, Darcy?"

"No."

"Oh, you should," she sighed. "Sirius hasn't seen you in a while – it'd be nice to come down and just talk to him."

"I just did."

"Darcy, please –"

"Fine, fine," I replied shortly, standing up. "But I'm coming down for you, not Sirius."


	2. Ready for Hogwarts

**I'll admit it, I have a little bit of this story written already, so it's not like I sit here for hours on end just writing. I'm really sitting here for hours copying and pasting.**

**READY FOR HOGWARTS.**

"So, Harry, you'll be coming to work with me tomorrow," Mr. Weasley said, looking across the table at my brother. Harry was seated on my left, Hermione on my right. "So we can get to your trial on time."

"Oh," was all Harry said. I frowned.

"Can I go too, Mr. Weasley?" I asked and Mr. Weasley looked up at me with his eyebrow raised. "I figured I could go for, you know, moral support or something. And if he needs a witness, I could help him!"

Harry looked at me and grinned. We hadn't thought about that before. "I don't know if you'll be allowed in the courtroom," Mr. Weasley answered, his mouth full of baked potato. Out of everyone, only Mr. Weasley and Ron seemed to be enjoying the food. Barely anyone ate any. "And I don't know about you serving as a witness… I mean, if they need you, you'd be it, but you're his sister and you know… a Potter."

"I'll still go," I said. "Can I?"

"Of course."

I looked up and saw Lupin looking at me. When our eyes met, he looked away and to his right, where Tonks had been telling him some kind of story. He nodded, looking rather uninterested as he picked at his food.

The whole atmosphere in the dining room was dreadful. You would have thought someone had died. "I think I'll be going to bed now," I said, standing up abruptly. "Goodnight."

It wasn't even five seconds after I stood up and left that I heard everyone else standing up. There was the sound of clinking silverware and plates and people were pushing their chairs in. As I closed the door to the room I was staying in, I heard footsteps walk past and then the sound of other doors closing at the same time. The front door shut a few minutes later and I lay down in the single bed. It felt like the mattress hadn't been touched in years and I struggled to get comfortable, but I couldn't. I only fell asleep when I felt as if I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Good luck, Harry," Mr. Weasley clapped a hand on his shoulder and Harry nodded nervously. I gave him a weak smile and he entered the courtroom. I sat down on a bench by the wall and sighed, closing my eyes, hoping the trial wouldn't last too long.

Mr. Weasley sat beside me, awkwardly quiet. He finally turned to me, but I was staring straight ahead at the wanted poster of Sirius Black.

"So, Darcy," he said and I smiled at him, raising my eyebrows. His whole face seemed scrunched as he put on his thoughtful face. "Tell me, how was it living with the Muggles for a whole year?"

I had never met a man so fascinated by Muggles. I chuckled. "It was absolutely horrible. The Dursleys are not the greatest people in the world. But no worries, not all Muggles are like that," I explained with a smile. "I should have brought something for you. Dudley has all kind of weird contraptions. Remind me and I'll bring you something next year."

He smiled and exhaled. "Darcy, you know, you're more than welcome to spend the holidays with us this year," he offered and I nodded. "Fred and George absolutely adore you. And now, because they can use magic, I'm sure they'll be asking you to teach them new spells all the time."

I laughed and blushed. "Lucky for them, I've learned a few new spells over the past year."

"Excellent," he grinned. "Are you excited to be heading back to Hogwarts?"

"I guess," I said quietly.

"Darcy," he sighed. "I know you're upset about not becoming an Auror and not being able to join the Order… but it's for the best. You have to believe me when I say that."

I didn't say anything and forty five minutes later, Dumbledore emerged from the room, brushing past us, even though I tried to speak to him. He ignored us completely. Harry exited next and I asked him what happened, but he just smiled huge and hugged me tightly, whispering nonsense. I patted his back and smiled – he wasn't expelled, that's for sure. A bunch of people exited after Harry, one being Percy Weasley, who didn't even acknowledge his father.

"Can we go back, please? I don't want to stay here another minute," Harry said and Mr. Weasley nodded. Mr. Weasley went back to the second floor, where he was going to cover for Tonks and I led Harry to one of the fireplaces, where we left the Ministry and walked cheerfully all the way back.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Um, Darcy?" Sirius poked his head into my bedroom and I looked up from my book, shutting it and smiling. "Hey. I've been actually meaning to talk to you."

"Okay."

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure." I nodded and grinned, looking at him.

"Well, I wasn't eavesdropping or anything…" He looked down at the floor. "Earlier, I heard Hermione and Ron talking to Harry about you and I was walking past…"

"Just ask me what you want to know and I'll tell you," I chuckled, although I was a bit nervous. What would those three be talking about? "I'm not going to lie to you."

"Your last year at Hogwarts," he began. "Remus was your teacher, right?"

My heart sank and I licked my lips. "Yep."

"Did you have a – a thing for him – or _with_ him?"

"What happens if I say no?" I asked, a blush creeping on my face. I was sure I looked like a tomato. Sirius shrugged. "And if I say yes? Because, well… yes. Yes, I did."

Sirius' face contorted and twisted. "Darcy, do you realize he's as old as me? He's old enough to be your father."

"Not really," I held up my finger. "Mum did have me at a young age."

"He's as old as me, Darcy," Sirius hissed. "You shouldn't have been messing around with him. That's not right. That's actually very disgusting! How _dare_ he take advantage of my goddaughter?"

"But it's over," I said quickly as he began to walk towards the door. Sirius stopped. "If you haven't noticed, we barely look at each other."

"Darcy, that's so – so wrong!" Sirius told me. "I'm going to go down there and chat with him, _if you don't mind_. I'll give him a piece of my mind…"

"Sirius, please don't!" I begged and grabbed his hand, yanking him back into the room. "He broke up with me at the end of the year and said he'd wait for me and now he won't even talk to me –"

"Because he's with Tonks."

"Wh – what?"

"Him and Tonks," Sirius fumed. "So first, you were in a relationship with my best friend and then he breaks up with you, promising you that he'll wait for you and now you see him again and he's with someone else? Oh, he'll pay. Fucking no one will break your heart. I'll talk to him."

"Please don't! If anything, I'll talk to him myself!" I pleaded and Sirius shook his head.

"I could easily knock a tooth out or something," Sirius raised an eyebrow as if it was a good idea. "Two front teeth, yeah? He's got no meat on his bones to protect him. Tall and skinny. He doesn't stand a chance against me."

"You're willing to fight your best friend because of this? You're insane, Sirius!"

"No, he's insane! And so are you, kinda!" Sirius blurted out. "Out of all people, you went after Moony? He's not even good looking from a guy's point of view!"

"It wasn't just because he was good looking," I sighed. Sirius wouldn't give up; I knew he had something else to say. "Fine, go talk to him, but do _not_ knock out his front teeth."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I flicked my wand, producing a small flock of tiny birds. I made them fly around, smiling as they chirped and flew around in a circle. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping one arm around them as I made the birds fly all over the bedroom. Someone knocked on the door. "Come in," I said and when I saw Lupin look into the room, my smile disappeared and so did my birds. I put my wand down and ran my fingers through my hair. "Go away."

Lupin's smile vanished from his face as he entered my bedroom, shutting the door quietly. "Go away? What?" he asked. "You haven't said a single word to me since you got here and now Sirius won't talk to me either."

I didn't answer him; I looked up at the wall and held my hand out in front of me, wiggling my fingers and producing a small flame above my palm. He took a step towards the bed and for a minute, I considered throwing the flame at him, but I thought it'd be a bit harsh.

"Darcy, I haven't seen you for a long time. Please say something."

He touched my hand and the flame in the other hand extinguished. He pulled me closer to him, but I frowned. It just wasn't the same. He didn't hold me as close as he did before. I knew it would never be like when we were together. "You broke my heart," I whispered. "You really hurt me, Remus."

"I didn't mean to… you don't think it hurt me too? You think I've got no feeling just because I couldn't be with you?"

"How the hell did I hurt you?" I asked, pushing away from him and standing up. "Remus, you told me you loved me and that you'd wait forever for me. I've never felt like that for anyone before – you told me that we'd see each other soon. But you never wrote or even tried to keep in touch with me."

"Darcy –"

"I loved you, Remus," I said and I could give no explanation for how I was remaining so calm. "I loved you and you went and got yourself another girl. I had to say no to so many people because I was waiting for you! You never loved me. You ruined my life. You ruined my whole life!"

"Darcy, I'm sorry –"

"Just please – please leave me alone. I'm begging you. Please leave."

And without saying another word, he slipped out of the room silently.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Fred!" I called. George raised his eyebrow as I pointed my wand at his twin. Fred lifted his head and saw my wand pointed directly at him. "_Rictusempra_." Fred began to laugh uncontrollably.

"What'd you do?" George laughed.

"He's being tickled," I laughed as well. I had to do something to get my mind off Lupin and I found the twins to be an excellent source of comfort. They could always make me laugh. I pointed my wand at George. "_Colovaria_." His hair became dark brown and slicked back.

As Fred began to calm down, he rushed over to his brother and touched his hair. George smiled proudly. "Can you make my hair look like that too? We can't have mum telling us apart."

I flicked my wand at Fred's head so he and his twin had the same hairstyle. We heard Mrs. Weasley call us for dinner, so the three of us rushed downstairs. Once there, their mother checked out their hair and laughed, smiling at me. "Look at what Darcy taught us!" George announced and I sat down beside Harry. Tonks sat down on the other side of me.

"Did you hear the news?" Ron asked me from across the table.

"What's that?" I replied.

"I'm a prefect! And so is Hermione!" he said it loudly so everyone could hear. No one seemed impressed and I was sure he had told everyone a hundred times already.

"That's brilliant!" I smiled at them both. "Congratulations." I was mildly disappointed that Harry had not been chosen as a prefect. I had expected Dumbledore to give it to him first year for all that he did. Although, I had never been a prefect and neither had our father, which I'm sure gave Harry comfort.

"Yes," Mrs. Weasley beamed. "Well, I'll be going to Diagon Alley tomorrow for their school supplies. Do you need anything, Darcy?" I shook my head. "Alright then. Are you ready to go to Hogwarts too, Tonks?"

She nodded eagerly.

"What about you, Remus?"

"I don't k – know," he stuttered. "I mean, I don't think the parents will want someone like me with their children –"

"Cut the crap," Sirius snapped and all eyes were on him. "That's your excuse for everything. Darcy and Harry are really important to me and you're going to go to look after them. I don't care if you were half troll – I'd make you do this."

I looked away and back at Fred. He was looking at George and they watched each other's hair change back to its original style. Lupin, who was sitting beside George, was watching me carefully with sad eyes. I tried to ignore him, even though I kept glancing his way every so often.

"At least you'll be with Tonks," Mrs. Weasley told Lupin and I felt my blood boil. I began to cut my chicken with such force, I was sure I'd cut right through the plate. I gripped my fork so tight; my hand was shaking as I stuffed food into my mouth. "It'll be good for you to spend time together. It's hard to love someone and spend so little time with them." I nearly choked.

"Yeah, it'll be fun," Tonks smiled at Lupin and he looked at me for a moment before smiling back. "You have nothing to worry about."

I could have hit every single person in that room that night.

Lupin was lucky that he went to bed with his two front teeth still in place.


	3. Umbridge

**I need to get a life… I guess this happens when you're sick. I can't even move. Well, I can, but I don't want to.**

**UMBRIDGE.**

"You told her you_ love_ her?" I cried, pushing Lupin against the wall of my bedroom. He had entered my room, expecting me to talk to him like an adult, but I wasn't going to. I was furious – beyond angry, but most importantly, I was hurt. "You _love_ her? You told me you loved me!"

"Darcy, calm down!" he yelled and I trembled. Once I had calmed down, he grabbed hold of my arms gently. "Darcy, teaching at Hogwarts was quite possible the best year of my life. Meeting you was quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Then why did you have to hurt me?" I asked. "I loved you – I really did. I loved the way you acted, how you talked, how you looked –"

"Tonks loves those things about me too," he replied.

He let go of me and I backed up. "You never loved me. You lied about everything."

"I did not! I told you I'd never lie to you and I meant it!" he told me. "I care too much about you. And you know what? I'm glad I'm going to Hogwarts with you. I'm glad I get to protect you because if something ever happened to you, I'd never forgive myself."

I shook my head. "We were a mistake. Our whole – whole relationship was a mistake. We were never meant to be together, obviously. That whole year, we were just two lonely people who didn't want to be alone anymore."

"Darcy, that's not true."

"I don't want you coming with me, okay?" I warned him. "I don't want to be around you ever again. I don't want to see your face or – or your stupid smile. I don't want to hear your voice or wake up in your arms ever again."

"You can't mean that –"

"I mean every single word of it, Remus!" I shouted. The bedroom door was right beside me, but I couldn't bring myself to walk through it and away from him. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you –" I growled and tried to slap him, but he took my wrists and hugged me so I couldn't move.

I started crying on his shirt and I felt helpless, embarrassed, immature, and weak. He stroked my hair softly, trying to calm me down. As I told him things I didn't mean and some that I meant, he shushed me and holding me tightly, he let me cry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I closed my trunk, finally done packing. I was supposed to finish the night before, but I had ended up crying myself to sleep for the first time in many, many years. I was to be leaving for Hogwarts with everyone in a few hours. Lupin walked into my room and I breathed out loudly. "Sit by me on the train?" he asked. "I want to talk to you."

"There is nothing to talk about. You know, you ripped my heart out and humiliated me last night. I've never cried that hard before," I protested, my back to him. "You make it seem like you enjoy hurting me. Like I'm just some girl."

"I don't think you're just some girl. You are much more than just some girl, Darcy. You were the first person – and the only person – who ever wanted to be like me. That means a lot to me, even if I refused to do it to you. And you've taught me to like myself – to accept myself. Do you know how hard it was for me when I was your age to like myself?"

I ignored him. I tried to ignore him, anyway. I ran my fingers over the letters 'DP' on my trunk and noticed they were fading. I didn't want to listen to him, but he was perfect. Everything he said was perfect. "How did Tonks get so lucky? She's lucky to have a guy like you."

"You had me at one point too," he said quietly, running his fingers through his mousey brown hair. "You may not believe it, but I was all yours and you were all mine. Dammit, Darcy, I would have died for you. I would have killed for you!"

"What are you going on about, Remus?" I answered with my back still to him. "I never belonged to you! We couldn't belong to each other because we were going behind people's backs the whole time!"

"We both belonged to each other, Darcy. I was yours and you were mine. We were together, you and I," he explained gently. He walked up behind me and touched my shoulder. "Believe what you want, Miss Potter, but at one point, you were all I wanted."

"You don't want me anymore?" I asked tearfully.

"Darcy, right now, you're treating me like you hate me. You tell me you love me, and then act as if you regret it. I don't want a person like that."

"Well, I don't know what I want. I've grown up and changed and it was a while ago," I said. "And I want to love you, but now that I've experienced heartbreak, I don't want to experience it again."

"Darcy, why did you want me in the first place?"

I looked up at him for the first time. I breathed in real deep and he sat on my bed. I was on the floor, in front of the mirror, and I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Because you respected me, even when I was mean to you. You cared about me and it was obvious I saw how frustrated you grew when I put myself in dangerous situation. You always knew what to say when I needed help – it was like you had an answer to everything. And I could never get tired of you. I loved when you'd wrap your arm around me and cuddle next to me and when you kissed me, I felt something I had never felt before. I was truly happy. And I haven't felt truly happy in a long, long time."

He was quiet; he stared at me.

"Do you think Tonks is pretty?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Come on, Darcy –"

"I think she is. What would you say she is on a scale of one to ten?"

"Darcy –"

"Do you think she's an eleven?" I asked quietly and I wiped my eye on my sleeve. A tear fell from my eye and I covered my face.

"Don't cry," he whispered. "Please don't cry."

"No, no, I'm not crying because I'm sad," I replied, my voice muffled by my hands covering my mouth. "It's just because – I love you so much."

Lupin sighed and he rubbed my back gently. "Oh, Darcy, I've always loved you," he breathed. "But I want to be your friend. I wish you'd be mine because I miss having you around. Sometimes I need someone there to remind me that it's okay to be myself and it's okay to like myself. That's all I need."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darcy Potter," said a voice. I whipped around to see Snape looking at me, his arms crossed under his black cloak. I dropped my trunk and bag on the ground. "You're finally in here. Hurry, the feast is about to start."

"Alright, I'll –" I went to go lift my hundred pound bags, but Snape shook his head.

"Someone will get those for you," he told me and I nodded, stretching and following close behind him as we entered the Great Hall. I forgot how big it was and I grinned, looking around at all four House tables.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, who's the new teacher here? The Defense Against the Dark Arts one? Is she nice?"

"She's from the Ministry. I'm sure you'll meet her in a few minutes. Her name is Professor Umbridge," he explained. "You shall not call her by her first name. Also, now that you are going to be 'working' here with me, there is a seat saved for you beside me at the professor's table. You will not leave my sight until your duties are fulfilled, understood?" I nodded. "Good. Now, the other Order members are upstairs unpacking. Dumbledore will show you your room after the feast."

I took a seat beside Snape and the new teacher, I assumed. She was dressed in all pink – pink cardigan, pink hat, pink skirt, pink shoes. She was a tiny, chubby woman who wouldn't stop smiling. She looked me over quite a few times and I finally looked away. Dumbledore began to speak.

"Good evening, children," he boomed. "Now, we will have three staffing changes this year. We're pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking care of Magical Creatures while Hagrid is on temporary leave." Some people laughed, but the Gryffindor's were oddly silent.

Dumbledore continued, "We would also like to welcome Professor Snape's new intern, Professor Darcy Potter. Some of you may know her, for she graduated two years ago in the class of 1994. For those of you taking potions this year, you will see her often. She is a strong, smart witch, so I expect you to respect her like you would I." The applause seemed greater for me. The Gryffindor's cheered loudly.

He kept going. "We have brought back both Professor Lupin and Professor Moody, so if you see them walking around the hallways, you will treat them with the utmost respect.

"We would also wish to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Umbridge. And I'm sure you'll all join me in wishing our new professor good luck. Now, as usual, the caretaker, Mr. Filch, would like me to remind you that…"

Dumbledore was cut off and I, as well as everyone else, turned our attention to Professor Umbridge, who cleared her throat and stood up. Dumbledore turned around and blinked a few times as she stepped towards his podium. "Thank you, headmaster, for those kind words of welcome," she said with a huge smile. "And how lovely to see all your bright, happy faces smiling at me. I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends.

"What is she doing?" I asked myself and Snape elbowed me in the ribs so I shut up right away.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. Although each headmaster has brought something new to this school, progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged," she continued and I scrunched my nose. "Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what should be perfected, and prune practices that ought to be prohibited."

She stopped and looked out towards the students. Dumbledore led them in a group clap and Umbridge sat back down beside me. She looked me over once more and then sat up straight, keeping a good posture. "Thank you, Professor Umbridge," Dumbledore finished. "That was really quite illuminating."

"The Ministry is taking over Hogwarts, aren't they?" I whispered to Snape and we looked at each other. He pursed his lips, looked at Umbridge, back at me, and nodded.

I caught Harry's eye at the Gryffindor table and he slightly shook his head. Hermione and Ron looked at each other. Whatever the Ministry was up to, it couldn't be good.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Page 212," Snape announced, walking into the potions classroom. He walked up and down all the tables, frightening all the first years. They all opened their books immediately and I did too, sitting at Snape's desk as he paced. "We will be learning about boil-curing potions today."

He began to speak, writing instructions and ingredients on the blackboard with a wave of his wand. Before he could tell them all to begin on creating their potions, the door opened and Lupin stuck his head into the room. "Excuse me, Professor Snape," Lupin said and Snape scowled. I raised my eyebrows, looking up from my book. "Professor Umbridge requests to see your intern."

"As you can see, Lupin, my intern is busy with class right now –"

"Professor Snape," Lupin said coldly. "I am _not_ an owl. I suggest she come with me. Whatever potion you are explaining, I am sure Professor Potter knows all about it already."

Snape looked at me and shrugged. I closed my book and placed it to the side on his desk, standing up. Snape nodded towards the door and continued writing on the blackboard. I followed Lupin down the hall. "What is this about?" I snapped. "Does she really want to see me?" I kept my distance.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she said she wants to speak to you."

"Oh."

Lupin and I reached the door to Umbridge's office and he opened it, holding it open for me. I stared at him and then walked in. He shut the door hesitantly, his footsteps sounding further away as he left. "Ah, Miss Potter – oh, I'm terribly sorry – _Professor_ Potter. Come and sit down," she said in a horribly cheerful voice. "I'd like to talk to you."

I nodded slowly and sat down in the chair across from her desk. "Alright, then…"

"Darcy Potter, what made you want to become an intern for Severus Snape?" she asked and then picked up a pen and clipboard. I suddenly felt like I was being interrogated. I watched her and wrinkled my brown. When I didn't respond, she looked up at me with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, right, well, I really liked potions and I was good at it, so I asked Professor Snape if I could become an intern."

"You were a N.E.W.T. student?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And that's the only reason you're here?"

"Yes," I lied.

"I just find it odd that Dumbledore would bring back two of the old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Umbridge shrugged. She was still smiling. "One of them being a very dangerous…" she tilted her head slightly. "Half breed."

"If you're talking about Remus, you're wrong," I spat, clenching my fists. "He was the best teacher I ever had!"

"Honestly, Darcy, do you think that it's safe for him, with a disease like that, to return with all the children around?"

"He can't help it! It isn't his choice – it's not like he wants for it to happen! It's not a disease! It's just a – a – small problem! He wouldn't hurt a flobberworm," I hissed, trying to remain calm. It wasn't working. My palms were getting sweaty and I wanted to jinx her. "He's very safe and Professor Snape and I are making enough Wolfsbane potions to last him the month and when he's done with those, we'll make new ones."

"You seem very close to him. Are you?"

I slumped back in my chair and relaxed. "We're friends. He's my friend."

She shrugged. "Have you heard all this nonsense about You-Know-Who returning? It's ridiculous, isn't it?" She turned a newspaper right side up so I could read it. Harry was on the front. I pushed it away. "You don't honestly think he would attack children."

"You're wrong! You can't possibly believe this stuff! Voldemort is back!" I tried so hard to keep calm, but I couldn't. Not after what she said about Lupin. "And he attacked my brother last year! He killed Cedric Diggory! I was lucky to be graduated or else he would have come after me too!"

Umbridge laughed. "Oh dear, you mustn't lie. You'll scare your students."

"I'm not lying, Professor Umbridge," I protested, clenching my teeth. "Voldemort is back and they need to know the truth and they need to know how to fight and defend themselves! You've banned magic from your class – you're supposed to be teaching them all this stuff!"

Umbridge pursed her lips just like Aunt Petunia would have. "You may go now, Miss Potter," she said, shooing me out of her pink office. She wrote something down and I stood up, rushing out of the office.


	4. Hall Duty

**HALL DUTY.**

"She won't believe me or Harry about Voldemort! She won't let anyone use spells in her classroom! They're supposed to be learning about defending themselves against this stuff and she refuses!" I paced back and forth angrily in front of Snape's desk as he graded some second year essays, giving most of them D's. I walked up to him, seeing as he wasn't paying attention to me. I put my hands on his desk and he snapped to attention, looking at me. "Can't you do anything, Professor Snape? Anything!"

"_I _can't do anything about it," Snape told me, his quill scribbling on his papers again. I sighed when he looked away. "I mean, maybe _someone_ could, but not me."

I looked at him and then stood up straight again, crossing my arms. I thought for a moment and – "You don't want _me_ to teach them, do you?"

"No, no, that'd be against the rules," he told me, but I saw past his sarcastic tone. "And you couldn't possibly break the rules. Darcy Potter has _never_ broken the rules."

"Professor Snape, I don't know how –"

"I've taught you for seven years. I've taught you everything I possibly know. And as much as I _hate _and _loathe_ admitting it, Remus taught you a lot and he taught you well. You defeated all those dementors and you got the best grades in that class. You know what you're doing."

I was dumbfounded, but shook the feeling off. Snape wouldn't look at me. He stood up and walked towards the door.

"Just don't let Umbridge find out," he whispered dryly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

During hall duty that night, I walked past the Gryffindor common room around midnight. Outside the portrait hole, a group of first years were gathered around Fred and George, their noses bleeding profusely. Some other kids were reaching into a brown paper bag and then pulling out some kind of candy, popping it into their mouths. I sighed and walked over to them.

The students whose noses weren't bleeding looked as though they had been hit over the head with a mallet. They fell to the ground, their backs to the wall, sprawled on the marble floor. The nosebleed children were giggling and Fred and George smiled, writing on their clipboards.

"Fred! George!" I pushed some of the younger kids out of the way to get to the twins. I had to look up to see their faces. "You know you can't be doing this."

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," George grinned. "Looks like we gave 'em too much, eh?" They continued to write something down and cross something off. I rolled my eyes. As much as I loved Weasley pranks, I couldn't have it going on while I was an intern. I was supposed to be responsible and I could get in trouble for letting it go.

"But you can't test this on first years and you know that," I replied.

"But we're paying them!" Fred protested and George nodded. George stuffed some purple sweets into unconscious children's mouths and they began to stir. "And look, they're fine, Darcy. They're coming around now."

The students looked around, shocked, and then stood up and brushed themselves off, wiping their noses to check and see if they were bleeding, as well. Fred began wiping the blood from the students' faces. "Feeling alright, mate?" George asked, helping a younger boy stand up.

"I – I think so," he replied.

"Excellent!" Fred said happily and George continued to write on his clipboard. "Good to know they're still alive!"

"What if you had made one of them seriously ill?" I asked.

George shrugged and shook his head. "You sound like Hermione. She won't even let us do this in the common room because Miss Goody Two Shoes will take our clipboards away and give us detention. And she'll take our treats away," he told me coldly.

"Fine, just go up to your dorm or something. Don't do it out here," I sighed.

"I told you she was nice," Fred grinned at the first years. "Just because she's Snape's intern doesn't mean Snape's greasiness and meanness has worn off on her."

"Did you hear about Harry?" George asked me and I shook my head. "Umbridge gave him detention. He should be getting out soon, but I sure feel sorry for him."

"She's an evil lady," Fred continued.

"Detention for what?" I asked.

"She's convinced he's lying about You-Know-Who being back," Fred told me. "She won't have any of it."

I sighed. "Alright, I'll see what I can do. Be careful, you two!" I scolded them and turned to return to my quarters. As I was walking down a flight of steps, Harry was walking up. "Harry! Fred and George told me about Umbridge."

Harry looked at me through his glasses with sad eyes. His eyes were tired and bloodshot and he was breathing heavily. His hair was a mess.

"Are you alright? What are you doing out so late?" I continued. I let him in my quarters and I sat him down on the couch.

Harry held out his hand and I flicked my wrist up at the ceiling. Lights brightened the sitting area and my eyes widened when I saw the message on his hand that had been written in blood. _I must not tell lies_. It had been bleeding recently, but I saw that Harry had just wiped it off with his other hand and then wiped it on his robes.

"That – that _woman_ did this to you?" I inspected Harry's hand further. He nodded slowly. "Hold on, Harry."

I stood up and retreated to the kitchen, where I opened my trunk of potions, elixirs, antidotes and ingredients. I pulled out a small vial of yellow liquid and poured it into a bowl big enough so Harry could fit his hand into it. I brought it over to him and he scrunched his nose. "What is that?"

"It's a solution of strained and pickled murtlap tentacles. Just soak your hand in it, it'll help, I promise," I said. Harry dipped his hand into it and he relaxed, obvious relief overcoming him. "Did you tell anyone?"

"No," he replied shortly. "I wasn't planning on it, either."

"Why, Harry? And don't snap at me – I'm only trying to help," I hissed and Harry sighed. "You have to tell someone. Tell McGonagall! She's the head of your house! She has to help you. Umbridge cannot do this to you – it's pure evil!"

"I can't tell McGonagall, alright?" Harry yelled. I frowned. "Umbridge is from the Ministry! How long do you reckon it'd take until they pass some kind of law saying anyone who messes with Umbridge gets sacked?"

"Harry…" I sighed. "At least tell Remus… or Tonks. Or Mad-Eye! He'd give her a piece of his mind!"

"Not like Lupin could do anything about it," Harry muttered. "Like I said, Umbridge is from the Ministry and everyone knows that the Ministry is completely against werewolves. She'd have him kicked out of here so fast his –"

"Okay, okay, but what about Tonks? She's an Auror. She's got to have some kind of influence."

"No. And I'm not telling Mad-Eye. I'm not telling anyone and neither will you," Harry said and I shook my head.

"I'll tell Dumbledore. Or Snape."

Harry snorted.

"For your information, Snape has some idea of what the Ministry is doing to Hogwarts!" I shot back. "I'll confront her, then! She can't do this!"

"Not you!" Harry said. "What if Voldemort really does come back to school this year? What if he comes back and you're not here because Umbridge fired you?"

I looked at Harry, our green eyes locking. If I didn't tell anyone, he'd suffer from physical pain, but if I did tell someone, he'd suffer emotionally. I knew Harry trusted me. "Fine, Harry, I won't tell anyone. But I still think you should learn to keep your mouth shut around Umbridge!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Harry snapped and I glared at him.

"What's wrong with you?" I scoffed. "Clean up when you're done. I'm going to bed."

That next night, I noticed Lupin wasn't at the feast and as I checked the night sky, there was a bright full moon shining in the clear sky. I sighed and picked at my food as Tonks chatted animatedly with Professor Sprout.

I could hear the students talking about 'Potter', but I was fully aware, well, I was 99 percent sure that they were talking about Harry. News traveled fast around Hogwarts and when I found out that Harry had a shouting match with Umbridge only the day before, I was exceptionally proud of him.

Professor McGonagall had told me how Umbridge sent Harry up to her office and it sounded as if McGonagall wasn't too fond of the new teacher, either. As far as I knew, Snape hated her too.

No one seemed to believe that Voldemort was back. Some gave up reading the Daily Prophet, believing it was utter nonsense (which it was), but some kept on reading it and pointing and staring whenever someone defended our story. Dumbledore wasn't getting good publicity, either. I felt bad for both him and my brother, who had to endure all the Slytherin bullying.

A few nights later, after I knew Lupin would be done recovering, I knocked on the door with a wolf painted on it. The door opened and Lupin greeted me. "I need to talk to you," I muttered and Lupin turned around and nodded towards Tonks. "Not about that. It's about Hogwarts."

Lupin took my arm and dragged me inside his quarters. Tonks smiled and continued cleaning. "What's going on?" he asked and we both sat down on the couch. Tonks joined us and I breathed in, looking at the both of them.

"Umbridge won't teach magic. She won't teach the students how to defend themselves against Voldemort, she says everything me and Harry say is a lie – " I took a deep breath again. "And then I went to Snape and he said that _I_ should teach them without Umbridge knowing and he said that you taught me well in Defense and that I know what I'm doing, but I honestly don't even know if I can – "

"Darcy, you're rambling," Lupin cut me off and I shut my mouth and nodded. "You know what you're doing – why don't you just teach them?"

"Because what if Umbridge finds out? I don't know how to teach – "

"You're an intern now," Lupin shrugged. "Isn't that what you're supposed to be learning?"

"I suppose."

"Remus has told me and pretty much everyone how great of a witch you are. One of the best," Tonks told me and I blushed. "We'll cover for you. Snape's got your back, we do, Mad-Eye will, that's for sure…"

"Well, how am I supposed to get this started in the first place?" I ran my fingers through my hair.

"You'll find a way," Lupin said quietly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Has Harry told you about what Umbridge makes him do in detentions?" I asked Lupin as we roamed the halls. I pointed my lit wand at what I thought was a student out of bed, but it was only a statue. The portraits were all sleeping and we spoke quietly. If there was one thing I hated most about being an intern, it was hall duty. I didn't want to be up at one in the morning – I wanted to be in bed! I was paired with Lupin that night and I knew I should have hated him – I wanted to hate him – but I couldn't and I needed to talk to him.

"I asked him about it," Lupin replied, pointing his wand at the ground. "He told me she made him do lines. But, a foul woman like her," his voice was even quieter. "I would have expected torture."

I knew I shouldn't have told Lupin, but I needed to tell someone. "But she does," I told him. "He never told you – of course he wouldn't, he doesn't even want me to tell anyone. She made him write lines with a blood quill, Remus. After his detention the other day, he came to my room and I had him soak his hand in Murtlap Essence. Now, permanently scarred on his hand will be 'I must not tell lies'."

"A blood quill?" Lupin raised his eyebrows. "That's insane. Teacher's aren't allowed to use blood quills at Hogwarts. They aren't allowed to use anything that could physically hurt a student."

"He refuses to tell anyone, though," I said. "I told him he should tell you, but he said Umbridge would kick you out of Hogwarts. I suggested Tonks too, but he just snapped at me. He isn't going to tell Mad-Eye, either… I just had to tell someone… It's horrible."

"I'll help you," Lupin told me and I grinned. "But only because I loathe the woman."

"Why do you hate her so much, if you mind me asking?" I said. "Hey you! Oh, Fred and George… you two need to get back to your common room."

"But we can't test our products in there or else the Prefects will catch us," George complained and he held up a purple and red sweet in front of my face. "You said we couldn't be caught! And it's only you!"

"But it's early in the morning and you need to get to bed."

"But it's a weekend!" Fred moaned.

"No," I said firmly. "You two need to get back inside and if you're still here when I circle back around, you'll be in trouble. Curfew was midnight."

"Ah, come on, Fred," George said, lightly punching his twin. "Let's go. But don't worry, Darcy, we still love you!" The two ran off and bounded up the stairs, giggling.

Lupin stifled a laugh and I smiled and looked up at him. He was hunched over and seemed really tired. It was actually amazing that I hadn't started screaming at him yet. "You can go to bed if you want," I told him. "If you're tired, I can do this by myself."

He straightened up to his full height. I shook my head and he sighed deeply.

"Okay, well, if you aren't going to bed," I continued. "Why do you hate Umbridge so much?"

"She drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for me to get a job now," he sighed. I looked him over and he stared straight ahead as we turned into another corridor.

I just then realized how much shabbier he had looked and my hatred for Umbridge surged. I knew that I couldn't hate him anymore. I pitied him. I felt bad for him. Lupin needed a friend and that's what I could be and that's exactly what I was. "That's terrible," I replied. "What's she got against werewolves?"

"Scared of them, I expect," Lupin shrugged and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. Our footsteps echoed in the empty halls and I yawned.

Taking in a deep breath of air, I said, "I don't think you're scary."

Lupin smiled. "Apparently, she loathes part humans; she campaigned to have merpeople rounded up and tagged last year too."

I decided not to tell him what Umbridge had told me about him being a dangerous half breed. I didn't want to make him upset. "That's really horrible," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you for the sympathy," he smirked and I flushed. "But you don't have to pity me, Darcy. I've put up with it for more than enough years… I'm just glad Dumbledore has allowed me back and has given me a roof over my head for yet another year."

I didn't say anything.

"I reckon she's teaching them all to kill half breeds." He laughed to himself, but I didn't see what was so funny. "Figures. I hear that Fudge doesn't want the students trained in combat."

"Trained in combat?" I asked. "What does he think we're doing? Forming some sort of wizard army?"

"That's exactly what he thinks we're doing," he answered. "Or, rather, that's what he's afraid Dumbledore is doing – forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry. He's got one part right, though, yes?"

"Which part?"

"You are forming a wizard army, aren't you?" he whispered. "Just not to take over the Ministry."

"I wouldn't say it's an army. I just considered teaching them what I know."

"Teaching them so when the time comes, they are prepared to help destroy Voldemort."

I thought this over. Before I could say anything more, though, I realized that Lupin had walked me around the corridors enough and up the stairs, back to my portrait hole. I sighed. "Hall duty was exciting." We both laughed. "I absolutely hate it."

"How are things with Snape so far?" He changed the topic so quickly, I needed a few seconds to come up with an answer.

"Fine. He just makes me grade papers and check different students' potions. It's actually… kinda… alright," I said. "I always liked potions."

"Just like your mother," Lupin sighed and smiled weakly at me. He checked his wristwatch and then his eyes widened. "I'd better be getting back to my own quarters now. Sometimes Peeves wanders and he's particularly keen on lingering outside my own room. I don't want to run into him tonight – I'm far too tired."

"I wouldn't want to deal with him at any time of day," I smiled. With his hands still in his pockets, he rocked back and forth on his feet. "You wouldn't want to keep Tonks waiting, either."

"Oh, Darcy, don't start that."

I looked away quickly, but soon met his gaze again. The smile he was wearing had vanished. We stood staring at each other. "I've got to go to bed now."

"Right," he breathed and I tore my eyes away from his tired ones. I tapped the door with my wand and it clicked loudly and unlocked. I pushed it open. "Goodnight, Darcy."

"Goodnight, Remus."


	5. Lupin, Snape, and Umbridge

**LUPIN, SNAPE, AND UMBRIDGE.**

I fingered the Ministry official papers in my hands. The papers were held together with a single paperclip and there was a whole stack of them. I grabbed a quill and debated filling them all out. Where it asked for my name, I wrote it. I wrote my age, my date of birth, my graduating year, and my occupation. That's as far as I got.

I hadn't told anyone that I had written to the Minister about being an Auror. It still was early – not too late into the school year and I didn't know what to do. I had to admit, I was content at Hogwarts. I had a room, I was being fed, and I was having fun being Snape's intern. I was surrounded by people I was familiar with and I was being treated as an adult. Anyone else would have been happy, but I was not. I was troubled and worried and heartbroken and naïve to think I could teach a whole group of students Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was stupid to have them begin training for the day Voldemort decided to face us all.

I threw the papers back onto my bed and stood up, pacing around. It was three o' clock in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I had classes in four hours and there was no way I would be able to wake up if I went to sleep.

It had been a few days since my talk with Lupin and few days since I had seen Harry's hand. He admitted to me that he would not break for Umbridge – he would not let her and did not want to see the satisfaction on her face if he made even a pained, twisted face.

Suddenly, Max came fluttering into the room with a note in his beak. I wondered where he had been and I became worried. I heard that owls everywhere were being intercepted. I tore the letter open and read it.

_Darcy,_

_Turn your light out and get some sleep. It's late and you need it._

_Remus_

I looked out my window and saw that his was right across from mine. I flipped the note over and wrote back,

_Can't help it. I'm stressed out and can't think properly. _

Max flew quickly across the building and landed on the windowsill of Lupin's room. My owl disappeared for a moment, then came flying back.

_Stressed about what? It's only a few days into the year. I'll talk to you in the morning – I think I woke Tonks up._

Frustrated even further, I ripped up the note and threw it in the trashcan, lighting it on fire with a quick flick of my wand. It burnt to pieces. Satisfied, I turned my light out and laid down in the center of the queen sized bed. With my hands behind my head, I looked up at the dark ceiling.

What was the point of becoming an Auror if I was already doing it? I was trying to kill the most powerful Dark Wizard there ever was. Would it matter if I was deemed 'official'? Is that what I wanted? I had no idea what I wanted.

That was a lie. I did know what I wanted and he was lying down beside another woman in the room across from mine.

I sat up and opened my suitcase, pulling out the bracelet that I kept in a small box. "_Lumos_," I whispered and my wand lit up. I grabbed it off the table and held it up in front of me, along with the bracelet. If anything, Tonks deserved it now. I put it delicately back in the box and went to bed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked into the potions room groggily. I pushed my hair out of my face and sat down on top of one of the front desks. Accidently knocking over a cauldron, I swore and picked it up, rubbing my eyes. "Not a hangover, I hope?" Snape asked, not looking up from his paper.

"No. Just tired," I replied sleepily. "Went to bed late last night. I'm just so frustrated – you know?"

"Fascinating."

"You asked."

"I did not care to hear the details."

"You're a real charmer, you know that?" I snapped and he cleared his throat. "Good listener, too."

"I could say the same goes for you," he replied. "You're a keeper."

"I'm not in the mood for your jokes, Snape," I hissed and he shrugged.

"I'm never in the mood for yours, yet I always hear them somehow," he sighed. "Pity. I guess it's a consequence of being a good listener."

I scoffed. "You piss me off," I shot back. "Sometimes, I can't tell who I dislike more: you or Umbridge."

"I may not have been offended by your rude remark about me being a charmer," he said harshly, looking up at me. "But if you compare me to that Ministry bat again, I'll hex you so badly, you won't be able to speak for a month."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Darcy?"

I nearly jumped off the couch and had a heart attack. I dropped my book and it hit the ground hard. "Sirius?" I knelt down at the fireplace and sure enough, Sirius' face was in the coals. "Sirius, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?"

Sirius chuckled softly and sparks shot out of his mouth. I jumped back and he apologized. "Harry told me what Umbridge was doing. She's horrible, isn't she?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Remus told me all about her anti-werewolf laws and she won't even look at him. I'm terrified she'll kick us all out of Hogwarts – then where will we go?" I sighed. "Did you see what she did to Harry's hand?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, or so it looked like. He said no. "She made him use a blood quill! I doubt those scars will ever fade now."

"A blood quill? How dare she –"

"I know! I don't think – she's not allowed to use any form of punishment that'll hurt the students, but if someone says something, she now has the right to fire anyone she wants. I think that's why no one's said anything about her," I rambled. "Fudge probably thinks she's the best fucking thing that's ever happened here at Hogwarts."

"You've been getting the _Daily Prophet_?" he asked me and I nodded.

"I haven't really been reading it, though," I said. "After all the stuff they said about me and Harry… and Dumbledore and – and _you_. I refuse to read it. Rita Skeeter's been writing all about the Crackpot Potters."

"An evil, foul woman she is," Sirius muttered harshly and I nodded in agreement. "I've been skimming the news. There's always a picture of either you or Harry. Although, I don't read the articles. I don't want to know what they're saying… I read one about you last week and almost considered walking out and hurting the bat myself."

"Me? What have I done?"

"Nothing, Darcy," Sirius assured me and I bit my lip. "She's just writing about how you're at Hogwarts to tell everyone that Voldemort is back and that you're… you're… it doesn't matter, does it? It's all lies, anyway."

I nodded. "But I have been telling people Voldemort is back… I'm here because if he comes back, then I can help protect them."

"And I'm sure you'd do an excellent job," he grinned. "But just remember that no one believes it –"

"Everyone believes it, Sirius!" I shouted and I wondered if anyone could have heard me from outside my door. I quieted my voice. "Everyone believes the _Daily Prophet_. No one was there when Voldemort returned except for Harry and Cedric – who's dead – and a bunch of Death Eaters. They're convinced that Harry killed Cedric – Sirius, what am I supposed to do? They think he's insane and that I'm a nutter for believing him! It's true, you know that!"

"I know, I know, calm down, Darcy," Sirius said calmly. "And trust me, they'll learn. But right now, I have to go. Hopefully, I'll be able to talk to you soon. If not, take care!"

"I love you," I whimpered.

Sirius nodded, speaking before his face disappeared. "Love you too."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Happy birthday!"

I jumped and almost fell to the ground. "How did you guys get into my quarters?" I asked, looking at everyone that showed up. Lupin and Tonks were standing behind Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Fred and George were sitting on my couch; Mad-Eye Moody was standing with his giant cane by the fireplace.

"I was a Marauder, you know," Lupin winked.

"Well – well – it's late you know! Past your curfew!" I pointed at Harry and his friends. Fred and George still had another hour.

"You aren't going to kick us out, are you?" Harry asked, crossing his arms. "It's your birthday! And we got you a cake and presents!"

"But Harry… I don't want you to get another detention with Umbridge –"

"Stop worrying," Tonks grinned, handing me a gift. "And open your presents."

"There's one from mum again," Ron said. "I told her you didn't need another sweater. When you get this one, you'll have like, ten sweaters!"

I laughed nervously and opened the gift Tonks had gotten me. There were a few empty vials and new Potions ingredients that I was getting low on. "Did you take inventory of my stock?" I laughed, quite grateful for the gift.

"Well, no," she admitted. "I just asked Snape which ingredients of his you had been borrowing a lot of lately."

I grinned. "Thank you."

Lupin gave me his gift next. While he gave it to me, he smiled quickly at me before returning to his position beside Tonks. I opened it. It was Witchita Banana – a record with some jazzy music. I grinned even bigger.

"Oh, thank you!" I said. "I really do love this." I opened the sweater next and held it up. Tonks was particularly amused.

"Tell Mrs. Weasley I want a sweater like that!" she had said.

Harry had given me a big box of different candies, including Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott's Beans. Hermione had given me a schedule planner and some new spell books she thought were interesting. Ron gave me a set of Exploding Snap cards, telling me I'd better learn quick because no one wanted to play with him. Moody had given me a book entitled, _Where There's a Wand, There's a Way_. Fred and George finally stood up and I expected some more tricks and jokes, but instead, they handed me a Firebolt.

"How did you buy this?" I asked them. "Isn't it expensive?"

"We have our ways," George grinned.

"You know I don't fly, though," I replied.

"We all find it ridiculous that you don't fly," Fred told me. "You've got an excellent flyer for a brother – so you'll have to learn too." I licked my lips, remembering that the first time I really had gone for a ride on a broomstick, caused Lupin to break up with me. "We'll teach you."

"I don't trust you with me on a broomstick," I smirked.

"Why would we need to ride with you?" George laughed. "Only one person belongs on a broomstick. Don't worry – it's not that difficult."

"Okay, she's done with her gifts," Ron announced. "Now can we eat the cake? I'm starving."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Umbridge sat in on one of the potions lessons with Snape a few days later – the one with Harry and Ron in it. I sat patiently at his desk – as I usually did – and expected her to hound me with questions, but she didn't. All she did was write on her clipboard as Snape spoke. I felt kind of bad for him with her watching him like a hawk.

When Snape instructed the class to begin on their potions, he walked swiftly over to his own desk, where I was, and he grabbed his own clipboard and began pacing around the room, almost as if he was avoiding the toad-like woman. It was only ten minutes after the class started their potions that Umbridge approached me.

I was looking at a fifth year potions book and I looked up at her. "What do you do again, Miss Potter?" she asked me in a very condescending tone. She looked down at the desk and saw the graded essays placed to the side. There was nothing for me to do at the moment. I closed the book.

"I'm an intern. I help," I said as calmly as possible.

"And Professor Snape doesn't give you anything to do? He just allows you to sit there and do nothing?" she asked and I raised my eyebrows, but remained calm. One small outburst and she could have gotten rid of me easily.

"Well, I finished all the papers I was supposed to grade today," I said, pointing to the essays, and she sighed, almost disappointed. "And I made the potion last night. It's the example one." I pointed then to the steaming cauldron at the front of the room, where Snape had been speaking from. It was sitting on a podium and he had placed a ladle in it. "That's all Professor Snape makes me do because he thinks I haven't been here long enough to be teaching. Don't you agree?"

"Oh yes," she mumbled and she wrote something down. I wasn't sure if it was about me or Snape, but I was still worried. I looked up at saw Snape scrunch his nose at a Hufflepuff boy's potion. He wrote something down on his clipboard and looked up at me, seeing that Umbridge was staring rudely at me. He looked back down at his students and walked away. "Professor Snape, could you come here for a moment?"

Snape looked defeated and scowled while she wasn't looking. He walked over and raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to speak. I was afraid to hear it, actually. "Yes?"

"Miss Potter is a good intern, yes? She does all your work for you?"

"She does not," Snape sneered. "She is an intern, not a slave. As you know, she's only twenty years old. She is incapable of teaching a class at the present time."

"So you make her grade papers and make potions?"

Snape seemed confused and his face definitely showed it. Neither of us could explain what was wrong with that. His usual emotionless expression was gone and his eyebrows were furrowed. "Yes." I looked at the plump woman with hatred. She came up to about Snape's shoulder.

"You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?" she asked and for a moment, I thought that Snape would make a great Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher compared to Umbridge. Considering the way she dressed, she didn't even look like she knew what she was supposed to be teaching – which she really didn't.

"Yes," was his dull response. His body was tense and he looked away from her, back at the students. Their potions were all steaming, some yellow and some blue.

"But you were unsuccessful?"

The class seemed to have gone quiet and Snape looked at her. I raised my eyebrow. Why was she asking that? "Obviously."

Ron and Harry snickered at the front of the classes and as Umbridge left, Snape smacked the red headed boy in the head with his clipboard.

Snape walked back over to me as I sat down at his desk. "I hope she didn't give you too rough a time," he said quietly.

"I think she's onto something," I replied, staring at the door. "I think she knows I'm not just here to be an intern."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because remember when Lupin came to get me? Umbridge asked if that was the only reason I was here," I told him. "She said it was odd that Dumbledore decided to bring back two of the Defense teachers he had had. She said I was lying about Voldemort being back. She's onto something."

Snape raised his eyebrows. "Then you better not give her any reason to believe it."

"More reason not to teach the students secretly," I replied.

"_Secretly_," he whispered. "Umbridge would be too busy with other teachers to be checking up on you every five minutes. No doubt if there is a problem with you, she will come directly to me."

"Why you?"

"There is no doubt in my mind that she finds it strange that I have invited a Potter back to be my intern."


	6. Hurt

**HURT.**

I was in Snape's office by myself, finishing up the essays he had told me to grade. I only had a few more and I would be able to go back to bed. Suddenly, the door opened and I jumped, looking up. Lupin was shutting the door behind him and he smiled at me, walking over to the desk.

"How can you stand it in here?" he asked me, looking around. "It's like a dungeon."

"You seem surprised. It _is_ Professor Snape's room, after all."

"I expect nothing less from him," Lupin shrugged. "Although, I'd expect you'd like something a bit more… cozier?"

I chuckled. "I don't mind."

He sat down on one of the desks. "This is ironic," he said and I raised an eyebrow. "Do you know how many times we've sat like this? But I was at the desk grading papers and you've been sitting here."

I smiled weakly.

"I heard Umbridge came into one of your classes the other day," Lupin said.

"Yeah."

"Did she give you a rough time? Or was she alright?"

"She was alright," I answered. "She just asked what I did around here."

At that moment, the door opened again and we looked to see Umbridge standing there, clipboard in hand. She looked at me with a small smile and then she saw Lupin. "Oh, Remus," she said and she took a step back. "So great to see you today."

I finished up my essays and put them aside, looking carefully at Lupin's reaction. "Hello, Dolores."

"Hope you're having a nice weekend."

"Yes, I am."

"Well," she replied. "I'll leave you two alone."

Umbridge left and I stood up, pushing my chair in. I walked over to Lupin. "What's wrong with her?" I asked him. "She seemed quick to leave."

"She's scared of me," Lupin shrugged, stating it in a matter-of-fact voice. "Remember? She doesn't like to be around me often. She rarely speaks to me."

"Oh yes," I rolled my eyes. "Because you're absolutely terrifying." I smiled and he stood up too. "Just look at your scary fangs and your long claws." He held out his hands and I touched his left hand, pressing my palm to his. "They're so terrifying."

Lupin smiled.

He closed his hands, his fingers lacing with mine and I felt a sudden rush of affection for him, but I quickly pulled away and took a step back. "I have something for you. It's in my bag," I said quietly. "I'll go get it, stay here."

"No, I'll come with you."

I knew that he wouldn't stay put, so he followed. When we entered my quarters, he followed me into my bedroom. I knelt down before my suitcase and reached in the pocket to bring out the bracelet I kept in the box. I handed it to him and he opened it. He sighed and licked his lips. "I don't need it anymore. I don't deserve it. Tonks does."

"Come on, Darcy. Let's go for a walk."

We were quiet until we got out to the grounds. We walked aimlessly around, towards the bridge. "You know," I said, changing the subject of Tonks. "I'm scared. I'm afraid. Terrified, actually. What if I – what if Voldemort kills me?"

"You could stop him," Lupin told me after a moment of silence.

"And if I couldn't?" I shot back. "Remus, I'm a twenty one year old girl. Voldemort is one of the most powerful wizards out there and I don't know if I'll be able to defend myself. Would I be able to teach all those kids all I know? Would they even be able to fend for themselves? I'm scared."

Lupin cleared his throat. "I'll make sure you're okay," he said, his voice barely audible. I snapped my head to the left and looked at him. "I won't let anything happen to you."

I laughed to myself. "What would my dad think?" I asked him and Lupin looked at me awkwardly. "What would mum think? I had a thing with my dad's best friend from school."

He was quiet.

I shook my head and the smile disappeared from my face. "What would he think, Remus? You knew him better than I did."

Still, he didn't answer and he shifted uncomfortably. I thought I had hit a soft spot.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "You're just – you're just too nice sometimes, you know that? You're too good to me even when I'm horrible to you. You don't deserve it."

"I deserve all of it, Darcy, and you know it. I treated you horribly."

"You didn't treat me horribly. You treated me well and I appreciated it because no one usually treats me like you did. You loved me. What more could I have asked for?"

"I promised you I'd wait."

"I know you did."

"Do you want to know why I couldn't?"

"Humor me."

"I wanted you so badly – you have no idea, Darcy. And when I met Tonks, I thought she was so much like you. She was young, she spoke her mind, and she was a good witch, although she isn't as good as you… But I thought that she would remind me of you, but when I got to know her, I realized that you two were different, but by then it was too late. She had become attached to me and in some ways, you're right, I'm too nice. I kept her with me because I couldn't break up with her. I couldn't admit what I had done to her because I just wanted you. And I think everyone was happier with me choice. As you recall, no one was really happy about our relationship."

I hesitated. "I adore you, Remus Lupin."

He sighed. "I know you do," he said softly. "I know you do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Why are we going to Hogsmeade?" I asked Ron as he grabbed my arm and pulled me along. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he replied. "Nothing at all. We set up a meeting at the Hog's Head."

"Why?"

"Because we have to meet everyone who'd want to be taught by you!" Ron answered gleefully.

"What? What? No – no – I'm not –" I tried to stop, but Ron, being stronger and bigger than I, had taken both my hands and was dragging me down to the run down bar. "Ron, let me go _now_!"

"No! Hermione and Harry are already in the Hog's Head! You're late!" We reached the door and he shoved me into the bar. I stumbled in and Hermione stopped talking.

"She's going to be your teacher," Hermione pointed to me and people began talking. "She can produce a full bodied Patronus – she did so on the first try! And her and Harry – the basilisk they killed during Harry's second year. And don't forget they beat You-Know-Who before that."

"Hermione…" I whispered. I looked at Harry who nodded at me.

"Who's in?" Hermione asked and she held up a piece of parchment. Fred and George stood up first, reaching the parchment and signing their name. A line had formed behind them and everyone signed up, not seeming reluctant at all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Someone knocked on my door. I had been reading through the book Moody had gotten me for my birthday, while listening to Lupin's records, curled up on the couch in a t-shirt and my underwear. I set down my cup of hot cocoa on the table and jumped up, jogging towards the door. I opened it and saw Lupin standing before me. I blushed.

"I'm sorry – I'm not really dressed…" I apologized.

"I won't look," Lupin said.

I let him in. "Let me go put some pants on," I said quietly and I ran into my bedroom, pulling some sweatpants on. I walked back outside. "I'm sorry I don't look more presentable. I was only reading."

He was smiling. "You're listening to the record I got you."

"Oh! Yeah," I replied. "I love it, I really do. Thank you."

He breathed in through his nose. "Do you want to dance?"

"Dance?" I asked. Before I could answer, he had already taken my one hand in his, his other hand resting on my hip. Sighing, I placed my free hand on his shoulder as our feet moved in sync around my sitting area. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes.

"You know, I haven't given Tonks the bracelet," he whispered. "I just put it back in my bag."

"Why didn't you?" I asked, not knowing why. I didn't want to know what went on between him and Tonks. "You gave it to me before you said you loved me. You love her, though. She deserves it."

"That's what you think."

I licked my lips. "You hurt me."

"I know I did."

"You still are," I breathed. "You're dancing with me and holding me and walking with me."

"I'm just trying to be your friend," he told me. "Isn't this what friends do? They spend time together?"

"Not like this!" I pulled away from him. "They don't come around at eleven at night and ask to dance! You're trying to hurt me, aren't you?"

"No, Darcy! Honestly, that's the last thing I want to do!" he sighed and rubbed his temples with his fingers. "I suggested to McGonagall and Dumbledore that we hold another Ball."

"What?" I snorted. "Like I could find someone to go with. I can't go with any professors and I can't go with any students."

"You could go with Snape," he told me icily. "You seem to spend a lot of time with him."

"WHAT?" I roared. "I'm his intern! Of course I spend time with him! You're ridiculous! That's stupid!"

"He only wants you around because you look like Lily!" Lupin argued. "He doesn't care about _you_, he cares about your mother! He cares about Lily!"

I scoffed. "You make it seem like I actually care about what Snape thinks about me. Well, I don't. You're embarrassing yourself."

Lupin sighed. "I just thought – I thought that this time, during the Ball, we could dance together in front of everyone. We wouldn't have to dance together inside a broom closet."

I exhaled slowly and felt tears building up in my eyes as I recalled what had happened after the broom closet.

"I don't mean to hurt you, Darcy, really, honestly, I don't," he began, running a hand through his hair. "I wish I never did because it kills me to see you like this. But you were my best friend and I don't want that to end. I need you – I really do. I could just sit here in your company in complete silence and feel completely comfortable. How many people can you do that with? I don't have many friends at all because of what I am. People act like Umbridge around me. They're scared. They're scared of me. I need someone who isn't and that someone is you."

I didn't want to walk away from him at all. He really did need a friend, but I didn't want to be around him if I was just going to keep getting my heart broken. It was at that moment that I realized that because I loved him, I wanted him to be happy. And if him being happy meant that I wouldn't be, then I needed to accept that.

I nodded and he smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his chest, tears stinging my eyes. "I don't regret anything that happened between us except for the bad things. Like me hurting you."

"Please, don't…"

"No, I have to tell you this now because if I don't, I never will," he interrupted me and held me out at arm's length. "You are amazing and you deserve someone healthy and young and you will find someone like that. You're young. I'll do nothing but bring you down in life. And you will be able to accomplish so many things."

I shook my head and a tear fell out of the corner of my eye and slid down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm hurting you right now, aren't I?" he asked quietly.

I looked at him and nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry. I should just go." He walked away and reached for the doorknob.

"Don't go," I whimpered and he stopped immediately and turned around. "Stay."

"Stay for what?"

"I'll make you some hot chocolate," I whispered and I ran to the kitchen, pouring another cup for him.

"I don't know what to say to you," he said, accepting the mug and sitting down on the couch beside me. "I really don't."

"You said you were comfortable with me in complete silence," I told him. "You meant that, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. I meant every word."

"Then just sit here with me. I want you here." There was a moment's silence and then I shut my book and smiled up at him. "Will you teach me how to ride a broomstick?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked. "Didn't Fred and George say they'd teach you?"

"You know Fred and George," I shrugged. "I trust you with me on a broomstick more than them. They'd probably end up killing me. Come on, we'll go out tomorrow."

"Are – are you sure you want _me_?"

"Yes! Yes, I want you!" I replied. "You know how to fly, right?"

Lupin nodded, a little unsure.

"You can say 'no' if you don't want to…" I said, slouching back and flipping through my book again.

"No, no!" he shook his head furiously. "No, I meant – not no, I mean yes! Yes, I'll help you! We can go out tomorrow, that'd be fine."

"And I have to ask you another question, please," I whispered and sat on my knees, turning to face him. He raised his eyebrows and I licked my lips. "Just hear me out."

"Well, what is it?"

"Well, Wednesday is our first Dumbledore's Army meeting – you know the secret thing?" I asked and I breathed in. "I would really, really appreciate it if maybe… maybe you could come with me and help me teach them? I'm just a little nervous to be doing it on my own."

"What? You're a brilliant witch. You'll be able to do it."

"Please just come with me," I begged. "I'm nervous."

"But isn't that what your internship is about? Teaching? This'll just make you even better for when Snape asks you to teach one of his classes," Lupin shrugged.

"Why won't you come with me?"

"Do you want to know why?" he asked coldly and I frowned. "Because Umbridge already put up that new decree. All student organizations are banned. If she finds out you are doing it, you'll be kicked out of Hogwarts and all those kids will be expelled and I will be kicked out of Hogwarts first because according to her, I'm a dangerous half-breed."

"Fine," I snapped, looking back towards the burning fire in the fireplace. "Don't come."

He was quiet for a second and then, "Okay, I'll come."

I looked him over suspiciously. "Change of heart?"

"I think I owe you for everything I've done to you."

"Glad to see you're coming around."


	7. The Argument

**THE ARGUMENT. **

"You actually came," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "Umbridge was questioning me about where I was going at ten o'clock at night. I told her I was just going for a ride. Don't think she bought it, though…"

"Then maybe we should go somewhere else," Lupin suggested.

"Can we go down to the Quidditch Pitch? I don't doubt if we stay here, she'll be spying from the front door."

Lupin nodded and we walked down towards the Quidditch Pitch, away from everyone else. When we arrived, we stood in the middle of the pitch and I held the broomstick awkwardly. "How many times have you ever been on a broomstick?" he asked with a smile, taking his jacket off.

"Twice. Once during my first year," I laughed. "And then last year with Oliver Wood. Madam Hooch even told me herself I was dead awful."

"Well, it's not that hard…" he told me and I laughed nervously.

"Harry must have gotten all of that talent."

"He could possibly have your father's talent for riding, but he lacks your mother's talent for potion making," Lupin countered and I smiled awkwardly. "Well? Mount your broom, Darcy."

I did so.

"Now slide up a little so I can sit behind you… this isn't a very long broom, is it?" he said. I felt like everything that had been said already was awkward. "Okay, well, don't go too far up – I don't want you falling off the front. Go ahead, put your hands here." He took my hands in his and placed them in front of me, wrapping them around the broom handle. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm f – fine," I stuttered quietly, feeling my cheeks flush red. He kept his hands over mine.

"Okay, so what you have to do now…" his lips were dangerously close to my ear. "Is just kick off. On three? One… two… three…"

Both of us kicked off at the same time and as we floated around the Quidditch Pitch about ten feet in the air.

"You're doing great – to the left! – besides almost hitting the stands, you're doing great!" he laughed and I leaned back into his body a little. He didn't move or say anything, so I stayed like that. "Do you want to go higher?" he asked me, bringing me back to reality. "Darcy?"

"Oh, no, can we go back down?" I said.

"Sure, go ahead and lean down a little bit," he instructed me and we got closer to the ground and his feet touched the ground first, his legs being longer than mine. When mine hit the ground, I stood up straight and he let go of my hands. "Good job."

"Thanks," I replied. "You're a good teacher. Better than Madam Hooch."

Lupin smiled at me and I raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked.

"I want to show you something."

"Where?"

"The Forbidden Forest," he said and he began walking towards it and I hesitated in following him. "I know it's late, but nothing will hurt us. The centaurs are friendly towards us and we aren't going in that deep."

"Are you sure this is safe? Are you absolutely positive?"

"That doesn't sound like the Darcy Potter I know," he grinned and seeing that I was behind, he stopped and waited, placing his hand on the small of my back and pushing me gently ahead of him. "Come on. Don't worry. Don't you trust me?"

"Yes," I replied and we entered the Forbidden Forest after a small trek down the hills. Almost immediately, we were approached by centaurs, yelling foul things and then I recognized Firenze and he looked us over.

"Miss Potter, it is an honor," Firenze nodded in acknowledgement to me and Lupin. "I thought you were… _her_."

"Her?" I asked. "You mean Umbridge?"

Firenze nodded. "Not fond of half-breeds, that woman is."

"Unfortunately, I know," I sighed.

"What are you doing here so late at night?" he asked.

"I want to show her the Thestrals," Lupin explained and Firenze simply smiled and then nodded. He looked at me and him a final time before galloping away back into the forest. Lupin and I went a separate way. "I had no idea you were on speaking terms with Firenze."

"Mm," I replied, looking around quickly. "We met in my fifth year, actually. When Quirrel was teaching. I got detention with Harry, Hermione, Ron and Malfoy and Hagrid sent us in here. Malfoy, Harry and I witnessed Voldemort…" I shuddered. "He was still living on unicorn blood and Firenze saved us. Of course, he had already heard of us before then. He knew who we were."

Lupin nodded and then pointed ahead to a dark creature in front of us. There was only one of them. It was black, skeletal, winged horse and I jumped, grabbing onto his arm. "Don't be afraid," Lupin told me, laughing. I let go of his arm, feeling a little embarrassed. "It's a Thestral."

"A Thestral?" I looked at it. "That's what pulls the carriages. Right?"

Lupin nodded. "Right," he answered, stepping closer to it and stroking it. I set my broomstick down and followed him.

"They have more of these things?" I asked, but he didn't answer.

"I knew you'd be able to see them. In fact, I considered bringing my classes out here to meet them when I taught here," he explained, looking back at me. "But I didn't think it'd be much fun for the students who couldn't see them."

"What do you mean? Can't everyone see them?"

"Thestrals," he began. "Can only be seen by those who have witnessed death and fully accepted it. You witnessed your parents die – as horrible as it was, I'm sure – so you are able to see them. They are marked as dangerous creatures, but they really aren't. They've got a great sense of direction too. You tell them where to go, and they'll take you there."

I touched it. The Thestral nuzzled into my hand and I grinned. "They're amazing," I breathed, petting the Thestral some more. "Wow."

"They are amazing, aren't they?" he asked. "I thought you might like them."

"I mean," I sighed. "I hope that no one ever has to witness a death, but I wish everyone could see them."

"Then maybe people wouldn't be so frightened of them."

"Exactly."

"Just because they can only be seen by people who've seen death," he continued. "Everyone seems to think they're some kind of bad luck omen."

"They're lovely," I grinned at Lupin. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

I was silent for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Who have you seen die?"

Lupin breathed in and looked at me. "I was in the first Wizarding War, remember? I've seen too many people die. Too many."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm terribly sorry, Professor Snape," Umbridge had interrupted his lesson yet again and I snapped my head up, cringing as she stared intently at me. "But I request your intern. Miss Potter?"

I was already standing when Snape spoke. "For?"

"For?" Umbridge repeated. Her forehead creased, yet her smile remained on her face. "To speak with her."

"This cannot wait until the end of the lesson? You can't just interrupt my lesson –"

I walked past him, widening my eyes at him. I would never forgive myself if I was the one who had gotten Snape sacked. Plus, with Snape out of the picture, I wouldn't be able to stay, either. So I silently followed Umbridge out of the potions room and to her own pink office. I sat down across from her desk and looked around, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Miss Potter," she began. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Um, no, I'm alright. Just had a drink of water –"

"Tea?"

"Tea?" I shook my head. She poured some anyway and then stirred sugar into it and pushed the cup towards me. I stared at it. "Drink."

I was suspicious, so I didn't drink it. I lifted the cup and sniffed it, but found nothing to be wrong with it. It touched my lips, but I kept my mouth securely closed. I pretended to swallow and then set the cup down. "Delicious," I muttered.

"Where were you last night, Miss Potter?" she asked quietly.

"I went for a ride on my broomstick. I got a new one for my birthday."

"Drink up, drink up!" she urged. "Go ahead. Why would you go out so late?"

I shrugged. "Quidditch practice is over and I was alone."

She frowned. She turned away to look out the window towards the Quidditch Pitch and I threw my tea into the plant next to me. "I'll see you some other time, Darcy. Please leave."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I poked my head into Snape's classroom and saw that it was empty. Flicking my wrist at the candles, I lit them. I brought my bag over to his desk and sat down, pulling out my Auror application sheet. I knew that Lupin knew how to get into my room, so I was worried that someone else, like Harry, would come in while I was filling out my papers.

I breathed in deeply and began filling out my strengths and weaknesses, my Patronus and my wand. The door suddenly opened and I jumped. The papers fell everywhere and I scrambled to retrieve them off the floor, but Snape had already picked one up and was reading it.

I stood up tall, coming up to about his chin. I looked up at him and he raised an eyebrow, staring down at me. I swallowed loudly, the rest of the papers in my hands. I looked away, feeling guilty, and he handed the paper back to me.

I licked my lips. "Please don't tell anyone," I pleaded and he just blinked a few times.

"Why would I tell anyone?"

"Because you don't want me to become an Auror."

"I never said that, Darcy," Snape said simply. "It was your godfather who said it was in your best interests not to become one."

I flipped through the papers again. "But you won't tell anyone?"

"No." He picked up the quill I had dropped on the ground. "It's really none of my business."

I breathed deeply. I held up the papers and was about to tear them in half when the door opened again. I groaned. Would I ever be able to find a place where no one would find me? I looked towards the door and saw the short, plump, pink woman strolling over to where Snape and I were standing. We both watched her carefully as she walked up to me and grabbed the papers right out of my hand.

"And what are these?" she asked out loud, but I didn't answer – she would see for herself. "Oh? You want to become an Auror?"

"I was – I was thinking about it, actually," I replied. "I'm not entirely sure if it's for me, though. I mean, I've wanted to be one since I was eleven, but now – now, I'm thinking that maybe teaching is more my thing. You know… the whole intern thing."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure," she told me in a flat voice, almost similar to Snape's. Meanwhile, he was standing beside me, watching her turn the pages with her fat fingers and glancing up at me every so often. She had barely acknowledged him. "Did you even have the grades to become an Auror?"

"Yes, I did."

"No doubt that Professor Lupin passed you."

"I earned it," I said through gritted teeth. "I earned it."

"And potions? What did she receive in potions?" she didn't let Snape answer. "You've got to be skilled in making potions and antidotes."

"Yes, I know," I said again.

"Miss Darcy Potter received an 'O' in her N.E.W.T. class, mind you," Snape finally said.

"How about your Transfiguration?" she asked me, not even looking at Snape. She was still looking straight down at my papers.

"An 'O'," I muttered.

"Charms?"

"Another 'O'."

"And what about - ?"

"I got 'O's in all my classes!" I said angrily, tired of the questioning. She looked up at me with wide eyes and shook her head. "I studied hard, alright? I told you I wanted this since I first came to Hogwarts."

"Ignorant girl," she said under her breath, but I still heard her. "Cornelius Fudge would _never_ let you become an Auror under his rule."

I licked my lips and felt my blood boil under my skin. "And why is that?" I asked.

"Because you're a Potter, of course," she said, but I could hear the anger in her voice. "Why would anyone take you? You're a threat to society. A danger. And that, Miss Potter, is why you are back at Hogwarts, am I right? So Dumbledore can protect you?"

"You're wrong!" I shouted. "And I can become an Auror if I want!"

"No. I'm afraid not, dear."

"Excuse me, _Dolores_," Snape sneered. "But if Darcy is looking to destroy the world's most powerful Dark Wizard, and if she and her brother are the only ones that can, then why wouldn't Fudge want her? Why send out some of his lesser talented Auror's, knowing they are going to die?"

Umbridge pursed her lips and her chubby face turned red. "I'm terribly sorry, Snape, but I was having a conversation with Miss Potter."

"He's been standing there the whole time!" I protested. "He's allowed to give his input! He's right, by the way! Why sacrifice his men? Why not just take me and send me out?"

"Because –" she was fighting the urge to shout. "_You-Know-Who isn't back_!"

"Says you," I said.

"Says Cornelius."

"Did he have to fight him off in the flesh like my brother?" I yelled and Umbridge raised her eyebrows and I clenched my fists. "Fudge is too afraid to admit the truth because he's too afraid of what Voldemort would do to him! He's too afraid to accept the idea because he's afraid of Voldemort – you're too scared to even say the name!"

"Miss Potter," she spat. "The Death Eaters would rather recruit you before Fudge!"

"Because the Death Eaters want to _kill_ me!" I screamed and Umbridge looked madder than ever. "If I ever presented myself to them, they'd think it was a joke! I've spent fourteen years avoiding them!"

"Do not raise your voice –"

"I will do whatever I please!" I yelled again and I ripped the papers from Umbridge's fat hands and gripped them tightly in my hands. A strong hand swooped down and Snape had grabbed my elbow and was dragging me towards the door, away from the evil woman in pink.

His face was set and for a second, I thought I was going to receive a blow to the face for my behavior. He brought me around the corner, away from the room and away from Umbridge.

"Do you know the meaning of respect?" he hissed, getting very close to my face. I didn't back away or show fear. I crossed my arms and breathed in deeply through my nose, my eyes meeting his. "Do you know that she has the authority to kick you out of Hogwarts?"

"She doesn't," I replied calmly. "I'm not on a salary. She can't 'fire' me and only Dumbledore has the right to kick me off the grounds. I'm safe. As for you, not so much."

"Which is why I learned to _hold my tongue_," he said with clenched teeth. "Another slip up and she could refer you to the Ministry on some – some false charge or something."

"Yes, she's evil enough to do that, isn't she?" I sighed. "Was she right about me becoming an Auror? Would Fudge not really take me?"

"If you keep acting like this, then no, he will never take you. You understand that Umbridge very probably relays everything that happens here to Fudge. I wouldn't be surprised if she tells him every detail about you and your brother."

"Who cares? Harry and I know we're right and slowly but surely, people are starting to believe us."

"You listen to me, Miss Potter," he said quietly. "I don't ever want to see or hear about something like that again. You talk to her like that again and I, myself, will boot you out of Hogwarts so fast your head will spin. Do you understand me? You will be better off just doing as you're told."

I laughed in his face. "What are you? Who do you think you are? My father?"

Snape flinched. "Your father was arrogant. Cocky. A _swine_," he stepped back. "You are more like your father than I am."

I rolled my eyes. "I beg to differ. Look at you standing there and telling me what to do! I'm a grown woman! I'm twenty-one years old and I do not need to be treated like a child by my old professor!"

"Who else do you have to look after you? An escaped, convict godfather and a fifteen year old brother? A promising duo, honestly."

My lip was quivering. I clenched my fists tighter, wanting nothing more but to punch him square in the jaw. "I can look after myself, thank you."

And with that, I turned on my heels and marched away.


	8. Dumbledore's Advice

**DUMBLEDORE'S ADVICE.**

The D.A. meeting went well. After practicing a simple disarming spell for an hour and half, I let them all out at around 8:30. Since there were different year students, I sent them all out at the same time so the younger ones didn't miss curfew. Lupin sat faithfully in the corner of the room, reading a book, glancing up at me every so often.

Harry, Hermione, and Ron stayed with me after everyone besides myself and Lupin had filed out. "That was great!" Hermione said and I stared into the mirror in front of me, looking back at their reflections. "You're an excellent teacher!"

Harry and Ron nodded in agreement, but only Harry noticed the sad look on my face. "Is something – is something bothering you, Darcy?" he asked. I turned to face him and shook my head.

"No," I said quietly. "Why don't you three head out before Umbridge sees you out of bed?"

Hermione and Ron nodded and headed for the door, but Harry was hesitant. "You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

Harry nodded and I sighed, turning back towards the mirror. The door out of the Room of Requirement had sealed itself and Lupin stood up, closing his book and walking over to me, looking into the mirror as well. "You're not okay," he stated and I shrugged. "What's really wrong?"

"Stress," I lied. "You know, grading all those essays takes time and –"

"Don't lie," he replied.

"Fine," I said, biting the inside of my cheek. "Umbridge just really made me feel horrible the other day. In front of Snape, no less. And it just – I wish she hadn't put me down. And then Snape – who does he think he is? He thinks he can step into my father's shoes –"

"Darcy, I believe that's the last thing Snape wants to do," Lupin smiled weakly, but I shook my head. "He doesn't want anything to do with your father. He's just looking out for you."

"I don't need him," I snapped. "I need –" _You_. I stopped myself before I could say it. I looked at him. "Thank you for being here tonight."

"Sure, no problem," he smiled. "Are you ready to head back?"

"Can I ask you something?" I hadn't moved and neither had he.

"Sure."

"What would you say if I still wanted to become an Auror?"

He sighed. "Look, Darcy, there is no doubt in my mind that you would make a great Auror. You're a talented girl, believe me, but with Fudge being completely against you and Harry and Dumbledore and with Umbridge here, I just don't think it'd be a good idea. Honestly, I think Fudge wouldn't give you the job because if you had it, you'd have a lot more power working with the Ministry than at Hogwarts."

I looked away, down towards the ground. "Fudge wouldn't want me as an Auror. I'll never be able to be one. I'll be stuck in the damn Order the rest of my life."

"What's wrong with that?" he asked and I looked back up at him. "You do the same thing in the Order that you do at the Ministry. We fight Dark Wizards – more importantly, we fight Voldemort."

"I can't stay at Hogwarts forever," I replied. "I'll need a paying job soon."

Lupin looked at me. "Remember when you told me there was so much more to life?" he asked quietly. "You told me that life isn't about getting good grades or getting a job at the Ministry."

"I remember quite well," I said. "But I said that love was the most important thing and I obviously haven't found anyone to love me. So I'm lacking in both a job and a relationship."

Lupin stared at me, as if debating what to say. I stared back and then breathed in deeply.

I laughed to myself, shaking my head. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this," I whispered, looking at my feet. "I guess you're my best friend, that's why." He didn't say anything. "And all this time, I've been doing this for you, you know? I wanted to join the Order to be with you. I asked you to come here so I could be with you." Still, he didn't speak. "Will you just say something? Please?"

"I – I – you're my best friend too, Darcy, but…"

"I love you," I breathed. "So much. And I just need you to know that because – because I don't know if Tonks tells you enough and you deserve to know that you're special."

"I – Darcy…"

"And I know it's really – Remus… I need you to know that I love you," I continued, tears filling my eyes. "I just thought that – that maybe you still cared. I mean, you came to my quarters to sit with me in silence and you danced with me and the broomstick ride – I thought it meant something."

"I didn't mean to –"

"No, I'm sorry for misinterpreting it…" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "It's my fault – it always is. You're just nice – you're the nicest person I've ever met and I should have known that you didn't have any… any romantic intentions."

"Please stop," he whispered, reaching for me, but he pulled his hand away. "You're my best friend, Darcy. I don't want to stop being friends."

I looked at him, tears falling out of the corners of my eyes. "But I don't just want to be your friend," I said sadly. "I want to be more than that. I want you to love me again."

Lupin breathed in and held his hands in front of him, rocking on his heels.

"Does she tell you a lot?" I asked, looking at myself in the old, dusty mirror. "Tonks? Does she let you know you're special to her? And does she let you know that she loves you?"

He didn't answer. "Not nearly enough as I'd like," he finally admitted after a long, awkward pause.

"Well," I swallowed loudly. "I think you're special to not only me, but to a lot of people. And I think you should hear it because it's the truth."

"I think you're special, Darcy."

I looked up at him and felt myself about to sob. "No one tells me that anymore."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked into the potions lab only three minutes before the students were due to arrive. I was a mess. I was tired, my eyes red, and my hair was up in a messy bun. I wore my cloak over sweatpants and a tanktop and I walked with a hunch.

"You don't look very professional today, Miss Potter," Snape told me, taking a simple glance up at me and then back down to his papers. "This is a first."

"Rough night."

"I see."

He stood up and I sat down at his desk as Harry's class began to file through the door. For the first time since I had been there, Snape didn't ask me to grade anything or brew a potion. I sat there the entire time, just feeling sorry for myself. I didn't even know why.

Was it because I had embarrassed myself the night before by telling Lupin I still loved and cared about him? Was it because I was alone? Was it because no one told me that I was special? It felt like no one wanted me. I felt like I was nothing. Harry kept looking at me and I knew he was suspicious. He wasn't used to seeing me in a state like that.

Several times, I blinked back tears and as soon as the bell rang throughout the classroom, I sped out of it before Snape or Harry could even speak to me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The following Monday, I went up to Dumbledore's office. Feeling depressed, I wanted to see what my options were. Could I go back with Sirius and live there? Was there something else I could do instead of intern? I felt like staying at Hogwarts was making me feel worse and worse. I lifted my hand to knock on his office door, but I heard Snape's voice.

"She isn't looking well, Dumbledore," he was saying.

"She barely touches her food at the feasts." That was McGonagall.

"She isn't taking interest in classes anymore," Snape continued.

McGonagall said yes, agreeing with him. "She isn't taking interest in really anything, Albus. I worry for her. In my seven years of teaching her, I've never seen her like this."

"Nor have I, Headmaster."

"I think Darcy Potter will be just fine as long as she has her friends around and keeps them close," Dumbledore's voice shushed them both. "A bit lonely – or so it seems. What say you, Remus?"

My heart sped up. "I – I don't know – she's never been like this before. Harry tells me he's never seen her in a state like this either."

"Should we let Poppy see her?" McGonagall suggested.

"I do not think this is a matter of illness," Dumbledore explained. "This is nothing Poppy can fix with medicine. She's just a little depressed is all."

"So what are we going to do?" Lupin asked.

"Don't smother her, Remus," Dumbledore replied. "If all three of you ask her about it and suddenly seem interested in her personal life and whatnot, she'll become suspicious. Just let her be. Offer yourselves to her – make sure she knows she's welcome to talk to any of you three. If she gets worse, she will seek someone out. I know her well enough."

"We can't just let her alone," Lupin protested. "She could hurt herself!"

"As if you aren't hurting her enough," Snape's voice was cold and flat. "I believe that _you're_ the source of the depression."

"Severus!" McGonagall gasped. "How dare you suggest such a thing? Remus has done absolutely nothing – he's been a friend to her!"

"Surely you remember what happened at the end of her seventh year, though," Lupin continued, apparently unfazed by Snape's comment. "She nearly gave herself alcohol poisoning! What if it happens again?"

"Darcy Potter bottles her emotions up," Dumbledore said again. "I feel that she's been bottling them up for so long and she's reached her breaking point. I don't think she can hold her feelings in any longer and she doesn't know what to do. She has suffered many disappointments over the course of this short school year already."

"So you're not concerned about her at all?" Lupin growled.

"Of course I am," Dumbledore answered him calmly and cheerfully. "But I think it's wise to back off. I think she'll be able to care for herself if things get any worse. If she can't care for herself, I trust one of you three will help her."

"How much worse could she get?" McGonagall inquired.

Dumbledore paused. "I am not sure, but I am hoping that it shall not be a problem."

"Have you thought about," Snape hesitated. "Letting her stay with Black for a little? He has certainly been alone a while and if she is feeling alone, then maybe that's what they need. Company."

"No. I want to keep her here," Dumbledore replied almost immediately. "I want to make sure she is safe. I think it would be unwise to separate her and her brother."

"I agree," Lupin said quietly.

"If I may, Headmaster," Snape began again. "I think some of the disappointment is due to your new teacher –"

Dumbledore chuckled darkly. "I do not doubt it. She is causing everyone stress, is she not?"

"I've just never seen her cry so much before," Lupin said with a big sigh. "It's sad, really. I thought she was this tough, strong girl and it's horrible to see her break down like that."

"She's cried?" McGonagall asked. "She's never – Albus, you have to do something about her! Send her to Poppy for some rest or something! You know this isn't Darcy Potter's normal behavior."

"You mean she's never cried in front of you?" Lupin asked.

"Never. I've never even seen her tear up before. You, Severus?"

"No," Snape answered.

"Remus," Dumbledore said suddenly. "I want you to keep a close eye on her. Continue being her friend – she could use one like you – and just make sure she doesn't hurt herself. Try to cheer her up, would you? Minerva, would you also watch her behavior? And Severus, keep a close watch on her during your lessons."

"I will," he replied.

"How is she doing as your intern?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Fine – good. She's a good help, Headmaster."

"She's always been a hard worker. It's just a shame that her grades really mean nothing anymore."

"What do you mean?" Snape asked. "With her grades, she could get any job she wanted."

"Not any job," Dumbledore sighed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. The one thing she has aspired to do and she can no longer do it."

"You think that's where the majority of her stress is coming from?" McGonagall asked. "Because she can't apply to be an Auror?"

"Not the majority," Dumbledore responded quickly. "But some, yes."

I half expected Snape to go on about the other day when he had seen me filling out the papers. I thought he'd tell Dumbledore about Umbridge and what she had said to me.

"Don't forget," Dumbledore continued. "More than half the school is against the Potter's. The _Prophet_ has been writing nasty things about them – have any of you been reading it?"

"Not anymore," McGonagall answered for the three of them. "Against the Potters and now you, Albus?"

"As I was saying," Dumbledore said, plainly ignoring McGonagall's statement. "Half the school is against her and the Ministry is against her too. I don't doubt she's feeling rather alone in the world right now. She has always treated Hogwarts as her home and now I don't think she feels welcome. That is why, I think, she is depressed."

"It makes perfect sense," Snape said. "Keeps to herself all the time. Shut up in her quarters. I rarely see her walking the halls anymore."

"She's alone," Dumbledore repeated. "Alone in a room of hundreds. I know the feeling, Severus, do you?" It was quiet and Snape did not answer. "She is bright and young and pretty and witty. She is clever and outgoing. She needs friends to remind her of that. Sometimes her friends bring her down. Remember Miss Emily?"

I scowled.

"Emily made her feel ignorant sometimes, I believe," Dumbledore explained. "She was not deserving of Darcy's friendship. You, Remus – you are able to make her remember what she is. A bright, brilliant witch. And you Severus. Inviting her back as your intern makes her feel wanted and needed."

No one said anything for a few seconds and I pictured Dumbledore pacing around the three, his hands folded behind his back as he stared at the ground in front of him.

"It is a shame," the headmaster sighed again. "That she does not hear it enough. Everyone likes to know that they are wanted somewhere by someone and she does not hear that enough. She deserves to hear it. If there is one person in the world to deserve hearing that, it is Miss Potter. She is a good girl – a kind girl, like her mother, yes?"

"In looks perhaps," Snape replied. "But I think it's James she takes after."

"You don't know her, Severus," Dumbledore said and I knew he was smiling. "When she is comfortable around someone, she'll open up. If it happens to you, you will see she isn't so tough after all. She's loving and kind just like Lily."

I swallowed loudly and took a step away from the door. I walked down the spiral stairs again and the gargoyle moved to the side so I could walk into the hallway. Some seventh years were still wandering the halls, even though it was past curfew and they looked at me nervously, as if I was going to send them back with a detention. But honestly, I didn't care. I looked away from their adolescent faces and locked myself in my quarters for the rest of the night, lying in bed, not being able to sleep without Lupin next to me.


	9. Mixed Feelings

**MIXED FEELINGS.**

"How are you?"

I looked up at my brother and shrugged. "Alright, I guess," I replied. "I'm managing. What about you?"

"I'm alright." He skipped another rock across the Blake Lake. I sighed, watching him from a few yards feet away, comfortable underneath the shade of the large tree I was sitting under.

"I heard them talking about me," I sighed, pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Who?"

"Dumbledore. McGonagall. Snape. Lupin," I continued. "They all think I'm a crackpot, you know. Am I a crackpot, Harry?"

"I don't think you are," he replied, turning towards me before picking up another flat stone and throwing it out across the water. "What did they say?"

"That I was depressed and they're going to watch me and keep a close eye on me to make sure I don't hurt myself," I said angrily. "Dumbledore thinks I've kept my emotions bottled up for too long, but I disagree."

"I don't," Harry stated plainly. "I think he's right, actually. I think ever since Lupin's come along into your life, he's brought your guard down. I just don't think you're used to feeling this way about anyone, including me, so you don't know what to do about it."

"I'm sorry, Harry."

Three skips on the water. "For what?"

"For not telling you that I care about you enough," I replied. "You and I need to stick together these days. That's another thing Dumbledore said. He didn't want to separate us."

"I think he's right," he said again. "If we were to be separated, I think Voldemort would know and he's try to attack then. But if we're together, under Dumbledore's watch, I think we'll be safer. It pisses me off, though. He hasn't spoken to me at all – not even at the trial."

"Maybe he's just busy," I suggested. "Umbridge is –"

"Not as important as us right now. Voldemort is back, Darcy. We're at risk yet again."

"When aren't we at risk, Harry?" I asked. "Don't you ever get used to it?"

Harry turned to me. "You should know, Darcy," he began quietly. "That I am not nearly as strong as you."

"Harry, you're an excellent wizard –"

"No, no," he said. "I meant mentally. Mentally, you are much stronger than I am."

"Harry, I'm not as strong as you think," I told him and he stopped skipping rocks and walked over to me. "I'm scared. I'm terrified. I just never wanted you to know."

I sniffed and looked at my brother with trembling lips. He put his arm around me and I cried into his shoulder as he breathed in and out deeply and calmly. "I know this might not mean a lot to you, but I'm always here, Darcy," Harry whispered. "I'll always be here."

"Why wouldn't that mean a lot to me?" I asked quietly, wiping my eyes.

"I – I – sometimes you just don't make it clear that –"

"I'm sorry, Harry," I breathed, crying again. "I do love you and I care about you and you're the most important person to me."

"Before Lupin?"

"Harry, I'm serious. He means a lot to me, but you're my brother. And we've got to stick together. We have Sirius and each other. That's not a lot of family." I kissed his head and looked up. A single light in someone's room was on and then it turned off when I looked. It was the room across from mine and I sighed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I don't know why we have to do hall duty," I groaned to Lupin, who was walking beside me. "No one is out at this time of night. No one wants to serve detention with Umbridge."

Lupin grinned. "Darcy?"

I hummed a response.

"What's your favorite food?"

"I'm sorry?" I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, but a smile on my face. "My favorite food?" He nodded and I laughed. "I suppose I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the most."

"Really?" he said and he laughed. "Peanut butter and jelly? Is that really it?" I nodded and blushed. "Alright… well, what kind of jelly do you like?"

"Grape, of course."

"Peanut butter and grape jelly," he chuckled softly. "Right. And when was the last time you had one of those? They certainly don't serve them at the feasts!"

"Well, they should!" I joked and we laughed quietly. "I had one at the beginning of the summer. It was strawberry jam, though – that's all Aunt Petunia had – but I enjoyed it, nonetheless."

Lupin was smiling at me. "So you're telling me that if you could eat anything in the world right now, you'd have a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. Don't you believe me?"

"I believe you, I just find it odd. I can't remember the last time I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

I smiled at we approached my door. "Well, hall duty was fun again," I grinned. "Really exciting tonight, wasn't it?"

"It always is."

I smiled weakly and opened my door. "Well, goodnight, Remus."

"W – wait, Darcy!" he said it loudly and I turned to face him, cocking an eyebrow. "Um, I was – I was wondering if you'd want to have lunch with me tomorrow."

"We have lunch everyday together, Remus."

"No, no, I mean," he sighed. "Tomorrow out by the lake. We could have lunch and just – just talk. I miss you – I miss hanging out with you."

_I miss you too. I miss being with you._ I nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, maybe."

"There will be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"Are you bribing me?" I laughed. "In that case, of course I'll go!"

Lupin was beaming and I leaned against the doorframe. Suddenly, his smile faded. "I miss you, Darcy."

I licked my lips and swallowed. "Are you – are you trying to cheer me up or something?" I asked nervously. "Are you trying to make me feel happy?"

"No," he replied. "Well, kind of… I mean… I'm trying to get you to forgive me."

"Oh."

"Is it working?" he asked.

I breathed in and looked away, laughing. "A little, I suppose."

When I looked up, I realized that Lupin was quite close to me and I raised my eyebrows. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me and I snaked my arms around his waist. He looked down at me and then, his lips were on mine.

I pulled away quickly and backed into my room. "I can't. You can't."

"But –"

"I love you," I said sadly. "But I can't be the other woman. I can't – you can't hurt Tonks like that."

"I know… oh, I'm sorry, Darcy."

"It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, it wasn't like I wasn't enjoying it…" I breathed in and pursed my lips together. "I know what you think about me. I heard Dumbledore talking to the three of you."

"Darcy," he walked into my quarters and shut the door behind him. "Don't think that I'm doing this because of what Dumbledore said. I want to do this because of – because I –" His voice trailed off and I frowned.

"You don't think I'm crazy, do you?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"I just think you're scared is all."

I nodded. "I'm very scared."

He walked up to me and took my hands in his. He led me over to the couch, lit up a fire, and sat me down, taking my hands again as tears brimmed in my eyes. He saw my watery eyes and pulled my body into his own. I buried my face in his chest and Lupin held me tightly. "Why didn't you say something? If you heard everything?"

"I don't know," I whispered. "I didn't want you to be worried about me."

"Oh, Darcy," he sighed. "I'm always worried about you."

"It's not you," I breathed and Lupin hummed. "Snape said it was you, but it's not."

"I'm quite relieved to hear that."

I sniffed. Lupin ran his fingers through my hair and then pressed his lips to the top of my head. "Remus?" I said very quietly and he didn't say anything. "I'm stronger than all of this."

"I know you are," he replied softly.

"I had a plan," I whimpered. I felt more tears fall down my cheeks. "I had a plan my final year. And finding love wasn't part of the plan."

It was silent. He continued to stroke my hair as he stared directly into the fire.

"I was going to become an Auror. I was going to catch Dark Wizards for the rest of my life and I was ready to die doing it," I let out a sob. "And now, now – oh, I'm never going to be able to do that. I'm not – I just planned my future differently. I had a set plan and when you came along, you changed everything. You didn't ruin my life, I assure you, but you definitely changed it."

He still didn't say anything.

"You're my best friend."

I looked up at him, expecting a reply, but instead, he leaned in closer and kissed me again, gentler and softer than before. I kissed him back and he pulled away. I felt guilty. I rested my head on his chest again.

"Thank you." I hesitated. "Please say something."

He kissed my forehead and breathed in deeply. "Darcy, I'm not just with your right now to keep a close eye on you like Dumbledore told me to. I'm here because – because –"

I blinked and looked up at him, more tears falling.

"Do you understand why we can't be together?"

"Because you love someone else."

"Yes."

"But," I sighed, trying not to cry again. "If you really loved me in the first place, you wouldn't love her too."

"Darcy –"

"Just stay here with me tonight. Please."

He looked down at me. "Yeah. Alright."

I breathed in awkwardly and inconsistently. I listened to his heartbeat. I memorized his breathing. I swallowed loudly. "Remus?"

"Yes, Darcy?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Okay."

"Why are you really here?" I asked and he frowned, looking down at me. "I know you're not here because you love me. You have Tonks. Is it because you really do think I'm crazy?"

"Listen, Voldemort is back?" he said after a long pause. I nodded. "And he's coming after you, right?" he said again and I nodded again.

"You don't think I can beat him, do you? You don't think I'll be able to fight against him?" I inquired, my lips trembling. I sat up. "You think he's going to kill me?"

"I never said that!" Lupin protested. "Would you listen to me? You never let me finish what I want to say. You always take my words and twist them around like I'm the bad guy."

"Sometimes you can be the bad guy," I told him, looking away. "Why are you here?"

"Because," he replied. "If there's a war – it feels like there will be – and you and I are separated from each other…" He took in a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. I stared at him and licked my lips. "I want to spend as much time as I can with you because if I lose you…" His voice trailed off.

"You won't lose me," I said quietly. "I'll always be here."

We looked at each other for a minute or so and he sighed and looked away.

I cleared my throat, but still spoke in rasps. "Kiss me."

"I thought you said it wasn't fair to Tonks." He smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want to kiss me?" I asked and I smiled.

Lupin shook his head, laughing. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

I sat up on my knees and he watched me with a small smile on his face. "Then try kissing me again."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Aren't I always?" I grinned and he breathed in and kissed me again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When I woke up, I was in my own bed. I supposed I had fallen asleep on the couch and he had carried me there. I stuck a hand out, reaching for Lupin, but he wasn't beside me. I sat up immediately and found him sound asleep in a chair beside my bed. I smiled and then propped myself up on my elbow, smiling at him as he slept.

His long legs were stretched out and his hands were folded in his lap. His head was tilted to the side and he breathed in deeply. I pulled my blankets up higher and his eyes fluttered open slowly. He looked at me.

"Did you have a nice sleep, love?" he asked quietly.

"I did," I replied. "You must be uncomfortable."

"Yeah, well, it's alright," he said.

"Why didn't you sleep with me, then?"

"Why so bold?" he smirked.

I shrugged. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable."

"Well, to answer your question, Darcy," he answered, sitting up straight. "I thought I'd be crossing the line. I thought there were boundaries and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"It's just sleeping," I whispered.

He laughed to himself, still looking at me. "It's just sleeping," he repeated. "Tonks is probably furious that I'm not with her. Or concerned."

"Are you going to leave?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Not particularly," I said, sitting up. "If it were up to me, I'd never want you to leave, but I suppose it's up to you. And you can't stay here forever."

"Says who?" he asked.

I was silent and I grinned. "You have to go back eventually. You know that."

"If I could stay here forever, though, I would."

"I'm flattered."

"I should go now, though."

I frowned. "Oh," I said and I nodded, looking away and laying back down. "Then go."

Lupin stood up. "Come on, Darcy. Don't be like this."

"Be like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Darcy."

"What would you do if I sent in a letter to the Ministry?" I asked him suddenly. "About being an Auror."

His forehead creased and he licked his lips. "Did you?"

"Not yet."

"What's stopping you, then? Why didn't you just send it? Are you asking me permission?"

"I'm simply asking your opinion!" I raised my voice. "I didn't ask for you to get so angry about it! The least you could do is encourage me!"

"Encourage you? You could die!"

"I'm at risk of dying every single day. What difference does it make?" I sighed and buried my face in my pillow. With a muffled voice, I called out, "I don't think I'm hungry for lunch today."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Our dad's looked into it," Fred told me as I showed him the papers. George was on the other side of me, nodding in agreement with his brother. "It's almost impossible. You've got to give them a good reason."

"Why is it so difficult?" I moaned. "Don't they want me? Wouldn't they want someone who could actually kill Voldemort?"

"Dad says it's Lucius Malfoy," George continued. "Persuading the Minister for Magic that You-Know-Who isn't really back and you're just delirious and playing along with your brother and Dumbledore. You know, Fudge is convinced that Malfoy's switched sides! That he's really still with the Ministry."

"That's a lie. I'll never be able to get anywhere in life with Lucius Malfoy playing against me," I folded the papers back up and put them in my pocket. "It's just not fair!"

"Don't worry, Darcy. You're not the only one he's playing against," Fred said.

"He's right. Mr. Malfoy's playing against dad too," George replied. "They aren't known to get along well at all, actually."

"He's a git," I sighed and leaned back, rubbing my eyes. "Lucius Malfoy only proves that with Fudge in control of the Ministry, money buys both power and happiness."

"Well, there's a new goal," Fred grinned. "Darcy Potter succeeds Cornelius Fudge as Minister for Magic. Lucius Malfoy sacked. Sounds good, doesn't it?"

"Or you could keep Malfoy as your slave," George cackled. "Who knows, Darcy… you could have a lot of money coming your way…"

"I would never in a million years become Minister for Magic," I laughed. "No, absolutely not."

"Why not?" Fred asked.

"Do you see all the shit that Fudge gets?"

"But you'd be better than Fudge!" George raised his eyebrows. "Much better than Fudge."

"George," I laughed. "Fred. I can barely hold myself together. I couldn't even hold together the Ministry itself, nevermind the United Kingdom."


	10. The Attack

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while – I've come down with the flu :( But anyway, this chapter is pretty much just a filler and I'm working on a new one right now. But either way, enjoy!**

**THE ATTACK.**

Dumbledore had requested to see me in his office and when I went up, I found all the members of the Order in the room – Tonks, Lupin, McGonagall, and Mad-Eye. Even Kingsley had shown up. The only person missing was Snape.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Miss Potter," Dumbledore pointed to a chair. "Have a seat."

"What's going on?" I repeated.

"We've heard news," Mad-Eye grumbled. "That you are still looking at becoming an Auror."

I shot Lupin a disgusted glance, but he shook his head and I wanted to scream. I knew who had told them. I knew who told them even after promising that he wouldn't. Why was I an idiot to trust a greasy slime ball like Snape? "That's not true," I said. "I'm perfectly happy being an intern here."

"How many times do we have to tell you?" Mad-Eye continued. "It's not safe for you to become an Auror right now, alright?"

"No one is safe when they become an Auror!" I protested. "No one! Everyone is in danger of dying at any given moment, but I'm always in danger like that! Who cares?"

"We do," Tonks said.

"Becoming an Auror would just mean dangling yourself in front of Voldemort," Kingsley explained, but I wasn't buying it. "Besides, you know Fudge is against you and your brother and Dumbledore. You know it wouldn't happen."

"You don't know that."

"We do, actually," Tonks interrupted. "We overhear conversation between Fudge and Lucius Malfoy every day. They aren't on your side."

"Well, it doesn't matter," I stood up. "I'll stay here all my life if that's what you want. I'll never be able to do anything I want to do with you looking over me like I'm a child! I'm an adult! If anything, it should be Harry you've got to be watching over. He and Voldemort are connected through that scar of his!" No one answered me, but they looked at each other like I was on to something. "And if you don't mind, I'll be leaving now."

I stood up, knowing exactly where I was going. They all watched me file out of Dumbledore's office and I ran down the stairs and sprinted to the potion's lab, where Snape was putting away his spare ingredients.

"You _ass_!" I screamed and he turned around, fumbling the vial in his hands. "I trusted you! And you went to Dumbledore!"

Snape looked at me for moment and then turned back to his shelves of potions ingredients. "I had to."

"No! No! You didn't have to! Now I've got them breathing down my neck because they're scared of what I'm going to do –"

"As much as I do not enjoy doing this sometimes," Snape growled, turning towards me and stepping closer. He held his index finger out and frowned. "The Order put me in charge of watching over you and it is my responsibility to let Dumbledore know any of your suspicious behavior. My job is to keep you here, safe, and with your brother. Understand?"

"No. I don't understand."

"Stupid girl."

"I'm not stupid! Stop saying that!" I breathed in sharply and crossed my arms as he walked away to his desk and began to read. "This has something to do with my mother, right? That's what Remus keeps telling me."

Snape's book slammed shut and he stood up angrily, his chair falling backwards. I gasped and took a step back. "Get out!" he cried, pointing towards the door. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Because of my talk with Dumbledore and my incident with Snape, I was late to Harry's first Quidditch match of the season. I ran down to the Quidditch Pitch to see I had missed the game. I could hear the Slytherin section of the stand singing and I tried to listen closer.

"Weasley cannot save a thing…"

"Shit," I muttered.

"He cannot block a single ring…"

I watched as Harry caught the Snitch from right under Malfoy's nose and I grinned.

"That's why Slytherins all sing…"

I was almost there.

"Weasley is our King!"

Suddenly, a Bludger hit Harry in the back and I screamed as he fell off his broom. I made my way onto the Quidditch Pitch and the Slytherin team sneered at me as I made my way to my brother, who was lying on the ground. He hadn't fallen that far from the ground and he breathed in deeply, sighing. He held up the Snitch in front of my face and I nodded, smiling.

"Are you okay?" I asked, holding out my hand.

"Of course," he replied, taking my hand and pulling himself to his feet. "I don't know who it was, but we won, Darcy! We won!"

"Lucky for Weasley you were here, Potter," came Draco Malfoy's voice from behind. Harry and I spun around and I raised an eyebrow. "Did you like my lyrics?"

"Do you want detention, Malfoy?" I scoffed.

"Detention with you?" Malfoy sneered. "Just wait until my father hears about that. I'm sure he'll speak to Fudge and Umbridge right away to have you fired. But like I was saying, we wanted to write another verse, but we couldn't find rhymes for fat and ugly – we wanted to sing about his mother, see –"

Fred and George had heard what Malfoy was talking about and then turned around. I grabbed Fred and Harry took hold of George. "Let him alone," I warned them. "Let him talk. He's a sore loser."

All I heard was the last of Malfoy's words: "Or perhaps you can remember what _your_ mother's house stand like, Potter, and Weasley's pigsty reminds you of it…"

When I looked at Harry, I saw him let go of George and both he and Harry sprinted at Malfoy. They began to punch him as hard as they could and I screamed.

"NO! NO! HARRY! GEORGE! _STOP IT!_ STOP!"

Girls were screaming and Malfoy was yelling. George was swearing. Fred was swearing as well, but I kept hold on his arm. All of sudden, Harry was knocked to the side by a spell and I turned around to see Madam Hooch with her wand out and pointing towards my brother. "What do you think you're doing?" she screamed and Harry got to his feet. I sighed and relaxed my grip on Fred. "I've never seen behavior like it – back up to the castle, both of you, and straight to your Head of House's office! Go! _Now_!"

Madam Hooch nodded politely at me and I let go of Fred. George and Harry marched off towards the school and Fred headed back towards the locker room. It wasn't until I turned around that I realized all of the Order members had been watching the brawl from the entrance to the Quidditch Pitch.

I tried to push past them, but Lupin caught hold of my arm. "What happened?" he asked frantically. "What just happened?"

"It was Malfoy," I replied quietly, tearing my arm from Lupin's grip.

"What did he say?" Tonks asked me.

"Insulting my mother…" I grumbled and with shocked expressions on even Moody's face, I stormed past them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"No more Quidditch?" I asked almost silently with an appalled expression on my face. Harry nodded, staring into my fireplace. "Just you?"

"Fred and George."

"But Fred didn't even do anything!"

"If you hadn't been holding him back, he would have," Harry said and I frowned. "That was Umbridge's reasoning."

"Have you told Ron and Hermione yet?" I asked gently.

"No," he replied sadly. "I left McGonagall's room and came straight here."

I would have let him stay longer, but someone knocked on my door and I jumped up to get it. When I saw Lupin standing outside, I wasn't sure whether I should have been happy to see him or angry, but I let him in. "Harry," Lupin said, walking towards him as I shut the door. "I'm so sorry about what happened."

Harry didn't answer or look at him. He simply stood up and looked at me and then left my quarters. I sighed and turned to Lupin. "This year is horrible for him," I whispered and I sat down on the couch where Harry had just been. Lupin sat down quickly beside me. "And me."

Lupin frowned and I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"It's getting hard. I'm trying to be strong for Harry, but it's hard to do with everyone against me," I said.

"You think everyone's against you," Lupin replied calmly. "But they're not. You're not alone, Darcy. You can't keep thinking that it's just you in this. Despite what you think, you don't have to do this all by yourself, you know."

I smiled weakly at him. "You'll stick with me, won't you?"

"Of course," he said. "Until the end."

I licked my lips. "When do you think that'll be?"

"Much, much later," he assured me. "I promise you."

"You know, this Wednesday is our last DA meeting before the holidays," I said suddenly. "You're coming to this one, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks."

Lupin smiled.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh, by the way," I hit Lupin's arm to get his attention, even though he was right beside me. "Ron said we're invited to the Burrow for Christmas."

"Fantastic," Lupin grinned. "Is Sirius coming?"

"Well, I was going to ask Mrs. Weasley, but –" As we entered the Room of Requirement, I gasped as I looked around the room. I began to laugh as I read the signs around the walls, each with Harry's face that read HAVE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS. "Oh my God!"

It was only Harry in there and he was in the process of taking them down. He whipped around and saw me laughing. "Shut up! It wasn't me! It was Dobby!"

"_Dobby_?" I snorted. As more and more people began to file in, Lupin took his seat in the corner, opening his book and occasionally glancing at me and around the now decorated room. "Okay, well, since it's almost the holidays," I began, looking at all of Dumbledore's Army. "I thought we'd just review what we already know. What's the point of learning something new before a three week break, yeah? So, if you'd all split up into pairs, you can begin with the Impediment Jinx and then after ten minutes, we'll practice Stunning again."

Everyone obediently split up and I walked around a few times, correcting a few students and encouraging them. I had asked Harry to be with Neville because he needed help and Harry had done a fine job. Neville had frozen Harry three times already and I patted him on the back and told everyone to work on Stunning.

After an hour, I stopped them all. "Good job, guys," I beamed. "When we get back from the holidays, I think we might be able to start on Patronuses."

Cho Chang was standing in the middle of the room and instead of hanging back and talking to Harry and Lupin, I pulled Lupin up and still holding his hand, we left the room together. I suddenly stopped and he stopped too. "You okay?" he asked, letting my hand go.

"Am I a good teacher?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lupin smiled. "Of course you are. Brilliant."

"As good as you?"

"Better than me."

I blushed and he stepped closer to me. "Do you think they're getting better?"

"They're fantastic," Lupin answered with a small shrug. "Is that what's bothering you or is it something else?"

"No… no, it's just that. I'm just worried I'm not doing enough for those kids," I sighed. "Harry told me he looks forward to the meetings, but he already knows everything I'm teaching them… they all aren't as advanced as Harry."

"You're doing what you can and what you're doing is great," he told me. "You can't expect to teach them some seventh year spell. Some of them are only third years. They all can't be at the same skill level as you or say, Harry."

"But I'm doing alright?"

"You're doing alright."

Lupin glanced up and cocked an eyebrow and I looked up to see what he was looking at. I saw mistletoe forming above us and I looked back down, looking past Lupin. Hiding behind a corner, I caught the glimpse of two red haired twins, holding their wands out and grinning at me wildly. I smiled.

"Mistletoe," he whispered and he stepped closer.

Fred and George gave me the thumbs off and ran off back towards their common room. Lupin leaned in and my eyes closed and I felt the warmth of his lips against mine. He kissed me gently for a few seconds and then pulled away and I smiled slightly.

Suddenly – "Oh, Remus!" Tonks's voice rang throughout my ears and I whipped around to see the purple haired girl bouncing towards us with a smile. "And Darcy! How are you?"

"G – good," I stammered and I looked away. The mistletoe above our heads had disappeared. "And you?"

"I'm alright," she shrugged. "Tonight's my night for hall duty. What are you guys doing out?"

"We had a meeting," Lupin explained. "She wanted me to come. You know… to make sure she was doing everything right."

"Oh yeah. How are those going?" she asked me.

"Great," I replied. "Just ended – I was actually just going up to my room."

"As was I," Lupin coughed nervously and he smiled weakly at Tonks, who was beaming at him. "When is your hall duty over?"

"Midnight, but I can go back with you now if you'd like," she grinned.

"Sure, yeah, sure, that'd be great."

Tonks wrapped her arms around the crook of Lupin's arm, his hands deep in his pockets. He glanced at me and nodded and then we went our separate ways. I watched as they walked together in silence and my heart broke a little bit more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"DARCY! DARCY!"

Ron's voice screamed my name as he banged on my door. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes and because of the panic in his voice, I ran to the door and opened it, still in my pajamas. Ron grabbed my hand and dragged me out of my room and we ran up to the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. Harry was thrashing violently and McGonagall had rushed in a few seconds after us.

Harry sat up in bed and suddenly turned to Ron, gasping and panting. "Your dad… your dad's… been attacked…"

"What?" Ron asked.

"Your dad! He's been bitten, it's serious, there was blood everywhere…" he gasped again. "It was… it was a giant snake…"

McGonagall stared at Harry and then nodded. "Come on – put on your dressing gown – we're going to see the headmaster."

She told me to get the other Order members and she told Ron to come with her to Dumbledore's office. I nodded and ran out the common room door and down to Lupin and Tonks's room first, and then they followed me to Mad-Eye's quarters. They all grumbled under their breath until Mad-Eye asked me to explain.

"Harry's had a dream – a snake – it bit Mr. Weasley and he's bleeding," I was breathing heavily too, getting nervous. What if Mr. Weasley wasn't found in time? "It's serious and we're all needed in Dumbledore's office immediately. Ron and Harry are already waiting there…"

After everyone stared and gaped at each other, we hurried up to Dumbledore's office, where McGonagall was rushing out, mumbling something about Umbridge quietly. We all stepped into the large office and Dumbledore's face lit up.

"Darcy, thank you, thank you," he said. "I have already told the Weasley's and Harry that you will all be taking a Portkey back to Grimmauld Place. Mr. Weasley has been found and he's being put in St. Mungo's."

"Alright Potter," Mad-Eye growled. "Tell us what you saw."

"Not now," Lupin glared at Mad-Eye. "He looks like he's about to faint. We'll talk about it later."

"Come here, then," Dumbledore told us all. "Quickly, before anyone else joins us."

We all gathered around Dumbledore's desk and he motioned to a kettle.

"On the count of three," Dumbledore continued. "One… two… three…"

We all put a hand on the Portkey and with my heart racing and I felt my body turn on the spot and an uncomfortable pull behind my bellybutton. I closed my eyes and before I could open them or speak, I felt myself land on my back on a hardwood floor and there was screaming.

I opened my eyes finally and groaned, my back feeling a bit sore. Sirius's hand was being held out in front of me and I took it. He helped me up to my feet and hugged me tightly.

"Harry!"

"Harry, what happened?"

"What's wrong with dad?"

Everyone then turned to my brother, who was pale in the face and still sweating. He was staring at the ground and I bit my lower lip.

"Harry," Fred growled. "Tell us what's wrong with our dad."


	11. Heartbreak

**HEARTBREAK.**

Harry told everyone what he saw. He recalled his vision: He was watching from the sidelines as the snake attacked Mr. Weasley… Everyone continued to stare at him, but no one spoke.

"Is mum here?" Fred asked Sirius.

I touched Harry's shoulder and nodded at him reassuringly as Sirius replied. "She probably doesn't even know what's happened yet," he said. "The important thing was to get you away before Umbridge could interfere. I expect Dumbledore's letting Molly know now."

"Well, we've got to go to St. Mungo's," George said firmly. "We need some cloaks or something…"

"You can't go to St. Mungo's!" Sirius yelled.

"We can!" Fred argued. "He's our dad!"

"And how are you going to explain how you knew Arthur was attacked before the hospital even let his wife know?

"What does that matter?" said George hotly.

"It matters because we don't want to draw attention to the fact that Harry is having visions of things that are happening hundreds of miles away!" said Sirius angrily. "Have you any idea what the Ministry would make of that information?"

Ginny said, "Somebody else could have told us… We could have heard it somewhere other than Harry…"

"Like who?" said Sirius impatiently. "Listen, your dad's been hurt while on duty for the Order and the circumstances are fishy enough without his children knowing about it seconds after it happened, you could seriously damage the Order's –"

"We don't care about the dumb Order!" shouted Fred.

"It's our dad dying we're talking about!" yelled George.

"Your father knew what he was getting into, and he won't thank you for messing things up in the Order!" said Sirius angrily in his turn. "This is how it is – this is why you're not in the Order – you don't understand – there are things worth dying for!"

"Easy for you to say, stuck here!" bellowed Fred. "I don't see you risking your neck!"

Sirius looked as if he wanted to hit Fred, but he didn't move and I had gripped Harry's arm tightly. Ginny walked over to the nearest chair and sank into it. The twins sat down, but Harry mumbled something about bed and I expected Ron to follow him, but the Weasley's stayed in the kitchen. I went upstairs to get a shower.

I really hoped that a shower could wash everything away. I wished it could wash all the guilt, all the heartbreak, all the sadness and anger away, but I knew that it would do nothing but wash the dirt off my body.

I must have been in the shower for a long time because someone knocked on the door and I heard Lupin's voice. "Darcy? Are you okay in there?"

I turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around me. "I'm fine," I replied, picking my clothes up from the ground. I opened the door and walked past him to get to the room. "It's just a little hectic here."

"He's still alive," Lupin told me. "Arthur."

I turned around to face him. "That makes it sound like he's dying."

I looked towards the ground. "I'm sure he'll be alright," Lupin said quietly.

I nodded and smiled weakly at him. I stepped into the guest room where I stayed over the summer and I got back into clothes, hoping my trunk would arrive soon with new clothes. As soon as I got dressed, there was a knock on my door and I told whoever it was to come in. It was Harry. "Hey," I said, sitting down on my bed. "Are you alright?"

"I have to tell you something… I didn't want anyone else to know…" he answered, glancing at the floor and then back up at me. I nodded for him to continue and he sat beside me. "I wasn't watching the attack from the sidelines… It's like… I _was_ the snake… I attacked Mr. Weasley."

"Did you tell Dumbledore?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," Harry replied quickly. "But he didn't tell me what it meant. Well, he doesn't tell me anything anymore…"

"I'm sure Dumbledore would have told you if it was anything to worry about."

"But that's not all," he replied, his voice just above a whisper. "I… I think I'm going mad. In Dumbledore's office, just before we took the Portkey… for a couple of seconds there I thought I was a snake, I felt like one – my scar really hurt when I was looking at Dumbledore – Darcy, I wanted to attack him –"

I was going to answer Harry, try to reassure him, but I heard Mrs. Weasley's voice from downstairs and before she started calling our names, we hurried quietly down the stairs.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Since Tonks went to the Ministry to help cover for Mr. Weasley and try to overhear some things, Lupin and Mad-Eye Moody were going to escort us all to St. Mungo's. We took a train to London and everyone was speaking but me and Harry. Lupin sat beside me.

"Are you okay, Darcy?" he asked. He had been asking that a lot lately.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah." He touched my hand and then smiled at me. When I returned the smile, he let my hand go and looked out the window.

When we got off the train, Moody led us past all the Christmas decorated shops and finally to a brick department store that looked shabby and miserable and old fashioned. The fashion dummies were at least ten years out of date and a large sign told me the place was closed for refurbishment.

Lupin looked at all of us and got real close to the window, looked up at the ugly dummy and whispered, "We're here to see Arthur Weasley."

I jumped when the dummy had nodded and with her finger, beckoned us forward. Lupin turned to me and grinned and took my hand, pulling me through the glass. We stepped forward and I looked around in awe as the Weasley's, Moody, and Harry entered St. Mungo's from the wall behind us.

"Have you been here before?" I whispered, my hand still tightly gripping Lupin's. I looked around at the wizards and witches seated in the waiting room. One wizard would clang like a bell every time he moved, another witch sounded like a kettle with steam being blown out of her mouth, and some other wizards had hands sprouting out of their chests.

"On multiple occasions," he whispered back.

Mrs. Weasley was ahead of us all and called us over to the counter. She continued to speak to the lady at the desk while I still looked around. "Are they doctors?" I asked him, nodding towards the tall wizards writing on clipboards.

"No, no," Lupin answered. "They're Healers."

"Come on you lot!" Mrs. Weasley said and she led us towards the double doors in the corner. We climbed a flight of stairs and entered the "Creature-Induced Injuries" corridor and we stopped outside the second door on the right.

"We'll wait outside, Molly," Lupin said and I noticed Mrs. Weasley's eyes glance at our hands. "Arthur won't want too many visitors at once… It ought to be just the family first."

Mad-Eye Moody agreed and he stood against the wall, his magical eye spinning everywhere in all directions. Lupin and I sat down on a bench together and Harry meant to sit with us, but Mrs. Weasley reached out a hand for Harry and then smiled. "Don't be silly, you two, Arthur wants to see you both and thank you, Harry."

I looked at Lupin and he nodded, letting go of my hand. I followed my brother into the room. There were three patients and at the end, Mr. Weasley was reading the _Daily Prophet_. He looked around and saw us all and smiled.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence. No one seemed to know what to say.

"I feel absolutely fine," Mr. Weasley said brightly and I summoned up a stool for me. I sat down beside Ginny, who was on his right side. "If they could only take the bandages off, I'd be fit to go home."

"Why can't they take them off?" Fred asked.

"I start bleeding like mad every time they try," Mr. Weasley replied cheerfully.

Everyone was quiet again until Fred spoke up again. "Are you going to tell us what happened, Dad?"

"You already know, don't you?" Mr. Weasley smiled at Harry. "It's very simple – I'd had a very long day, dozed off, got sneaked up on, and bitten. But of course, it isn't in the Prophet – the Ministry wouldn't want everyone to know a dirty great serpent got –"

"Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley warned.

"- got – er- me," Mr. Weasley finished, but I knew that wasn't what he meant to say.

Fred turned to Harry, who was standing beside me. "Didn't you say You-Know-Who's got a snake, Harry?" he asked, looking at his father for a reaction. "A massive one? You saw it the night he returned, didn't you?"

"That's enough!" Mrs. Weasley interrupted and everyone looked at the ground. "Mad-Eye and Remus are outside, Arthur, they want to come and see you. And you lot can wait outside," she added to all of us. "You can come and say good-bye afterward. Go on…"

We all stood up slowly and left the room. Lupin and Mad-Eye entered shortly after us and Fred raised his eyebrows. George reached in his pockets and pulled out Extendable Ears. As they all put their ears to the door, I hesitated. There was a reason we weren't allowed in – there was a reason I wasn't even allowed in.

I stood back for a few minutes and I saw Harry's face go pale, so I knelt down beside him, listening to the conversation. Mrs. Weasley was whispering. "Dumbledore seemed worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning," whispered Mrs. Weasley.

"'Course he's worried," growled Moody. "The boy's seeing things from inside You-Know-Who's snake… Obviously, Potter doesn't realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who's possessing him –"

Both Harry and I jumped back and my heart was pounding. I stared at my brother, worried and scared and his face turned red. Everyone was looking at him now, looking rather fearful.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I opened Harry's door and then crossed my arms. He obviously hadn't heard me open his door. Harry was packing his stuff and then closed it. "Where do you think you're going?" I asked and Harry jumped and turned around. "Are you leaving?"

Harry didn't answer me.

"Are you running away?"

We both looked up at where the voice had come from. Phineas Nigellus had appeared in his portrait and was leaning against his frame with a smug expression on his face.

"I'm not running away," Harry snapped.

"I thought that to belong in Gryffindor House you were supposed to be brave?" Phineas continued, stroking his beard. "It looks to me as though you would have been better off in my own house. We Slytherins are brave, yes, but not stupid. For instance, given the choice, we will always choose to save our own necks."

"Don't listen to him, Harry," I hissed. "Could you please just leave your fucking portrait?"

Phineas yawned, making me more angry. "I have a message for you from Albus Dumbledore."

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Stay where you are."

"I haven't moved!" Harry said. "What's the message?"

"_Stay where you are_. Didn't you hear me the first time?"

Harry was about to yell, but I shushed him and told him to go to sleep. I could have sworn he was on the verge of tears, and so was I, but he obeyed me and I walked back to my own room to sleep.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Someone was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes to see Lupin sitting on my bed. "Wake up, Darcy," Lupin said quietly. "Molly's made sandwiches."

"I'm not hungry," I replied and I frowned and closed my eyes again. "Please, just leave me alone."

"What's wrong? You and Harry have been avoiding everyone since we got back from St. Mungo's," Lupin said and he pushed my hair out of my eyes. "I know I keep asking if you're alright, but I don't think you're fine."

"What's wrong with my brother?" I asked painfully, looking up at Lupin. His eyes widened and then he gave me a confused look. "What's Voldemort doing to him?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you think Voldemort is possessing him," I whispered. "Please tell me what's going on."

"We – we don't know for sure –"

"But he's going to be okay, right?" I asked, grabbing his hand. Lupin didn't answer me. "This just means that Voldemort is getting closer to us, doesn't it? It was Voldemort's snake that attacked Mr. Weasley… I know it. He's coming to get us next."

"Darcy," he sighed inwardly and then licked his lips. "I won't let anything happen to you. Or Harry."

"You're the most important thing to me, Remus," I whispered. "There's nothing more important to you."

He smiled. "What about your dreams, Darcy? What about becoming an Auror? Working for the Ministry? Harry? Defeating Voldemort?"

I shook my head and laughed quietly to myself before looking back up at him. "You are my dream."

Lupin sighed and closed his eyes. With his one hand still closed around mine, I sat up and kissed him gently on the corner of his mouth. He didn't kiss me back and I settled back into my bed. "I don't deserve you," he breathed. "You gave up everything for me. Why?"

I shrugged. "Because I love you."

He looked at me. "Because you love me?" he asked. "I'm hardly deserving of your love. Look at what I've done to you."

I simply smiled at him. "Tell me why you've stuck with me for so long."

I was hoping that I would hear those three words that I longed to hear. I was hoping he'd be able to tell me. I was hoping that he still loved me. "Because you need me."

"I don't need anyone," I grinned wider. "I can do just fine on my own, thank you. But really… why are you still here?"

Lupin laughed to himself quietly. "You're fishing."

"Fishing?" I asked innocently. "Fishing for what?" My heart ached when I realized he wasn't going to tell me he loved me. We smiled at each other.

His smile faded. "You know I care about you, Darcy," he told me seriously. I laced our fingers together and bit my bottom lip, sighing loudly. "And it's because I care about you that I stick with you. You _do_ need me, Darcy. People need people to survive – it's just a fact of life. You can't do this alone. I've told you before, love, you can't do this all by yourself."

"If it keeps people from getting hurt, then I've got to do this by myself."

"That's selfless of you, but you must understand that there's more to it than that," he replied. "It's much bigger than you think. Just because you decide to isolate yourself from everyone doesn't mean Voldemort won't kill others. Everyone is in danger – not just you and Harry."

"But –"

"This is why you aren't in the Order. We all understand the danger that we're put in everyday. Arthur was just attacked, but he understands. You can't go out and let Voldemort have you, Darcy," he continued, gripping my hand tightly. "That would be defeated the purpose of having us around. We're trying to protect you and Harry so you aren't in any danger."

"No matter what," I smiled weakly. "I'm always in danger."

"Then we're trying to protect you so you don't get hurt."

"Well, I haven't been hurt yet," I looked at him and laughed. "So you're doing a good job."

He let my hand so and wrapped his arms around me and I hugged him back. "I'll never let anyone hurt you."

I frowned, but kept my arms wrapped firmly around his torso. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on his shoulder.

There is more than one way to get hurt. You can be physically wounded, bleeding from the eyes and foaming at the mouth, broken ribs and arms and legs. You could have your ear blown off or you could die.

You could be mentally hurt. Studying too hard could make your brain hurt. You'd get headaches and you'd get the feeling where you just want to sleep forever.

What Lupin didn't realize was that, sure – maybe I wasn't hurt physically or mentally – but I was hurt emotionally and that was, to me, the worst of them all. He had, either intentionally or unintentionally ripped my heart out in front of me or stepped on it until it was broken into little tiny pieces that I could never be able to fix. Whether he knew he was doing it or not, I didn't know. But I could never stay mad at him. He always knew what to say and what to do so I could forgive him.

And the worst part about that was knowing that I had Voldemort chasing after me and my brother and sometimes, I don't think I would have cared if he had killed me.


	12. Depression

**DEPRESSION.**

"Hermione!" I said quietly to myself, jumping down the rest of the steps. She saw me and I grabbed her hand, pulling her into a hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be with your parents!"

"Skiing wasn't my thing," she grinned. "So I came here instead. Ron told me what happened to his father – it's horrible, isn't it? Besides, my parents think I'm studying for my O.W.L.'s. They understand about that."

"Have you gone to see him yet? Mr. Weasley?"

"Not yet. Mrs. Weasley is taking us all back today," Hermione replied. "Or so she said. I still think she's shook up about it."

"When we went to see Mr. Weasley before, he was awfully cheerful about it," I told her as we quieted our voices, watching Mrs. Weasley push past us into the kitchen to fuss about how skinny Harry was. "It's nerve wracking, really. You can't be that happy about being attacked."

"Maybe he's just putting on a mask for when you visit him," Hermione responded wisely and I considered this for a moment.

"I don't think that's it. I think it's something else, but I'm not sure what."

Hermione chewed on the inside of her lip. "Can we talk upstairs? I have to tell you something and it's got to be in private."

"Oh, okay." I became slightly nervous at the fact she wanted a private conversation with me. But I led her up to my bedroom regardless and locked the door, while she casted a few silencing spells on it. I sat on my bed and she sat beside me. I crossed my legs and turned to her, holding my hands in my lap and twirling my thumbs. "What is it?"

"I heard Mrs. Weasley talking to everyone earlier – when I came here. No one had realized I was inside, of course," Hermione admitted. "It's two things, actually."

"Spill it, then. Don't be shy."

"Well, first, they were talking about how you still wanted to become an Auror."

"I don't think they'll have to worry about that anymore," I told her honestly. "But what was the second thing? I haven't even done anything!"

She leaned in to me, even though no one could hear. "It was about Lupin."

"Lupin? What's wrong with Lupin?" I asked. "What did they say?"

"I just don't think Mrs. Weasley accepts of your situation still," she replied. "I think it's because of what happened last year at the Burrow – everyone knows about it even if they weren't there. She likes to tell everyone how she thinks it's wrong and gross."

"Well, there is no situation," I told her. "We're just friends. Simply friends. That's it. We can't be anything more."

"Even I'm not that stupid!" Hermione smiled knowingly. "Apparently, you were holding hands at St. Mungo's and Mrs. Weasley and Sirius were really frustrated about that."

"Holding hands – so what?" I asked. I grabbed Hermione's hand and held it up. "We can hold hands too! Friends can hold hands. It's not that big of a deal."

"But Lupin has more than friendship on his mind and it's quite obvious," Hermione sighed and I let go of her hand. "Have you seen him during the DA meetings?"

"What? When he just sits in the corner and reads?" My forehead creased and I breathed in slowly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh, you don't see the way he looks at you, do you?" she said. "When you're turned away from him, he just stares at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. He can't keep his eyes off you, Darcy!"

"You're mental," I answered quickly, standing up and clearing my throat. I looked away from Hermione and then crossed my arms. "We're just friends. He's got Tonks, remember?"

"Darcy, if you weren't at Hogwarts, Lupin wouldn't be at Hogwarts – even if Harry was in danger. He's there because of you," she told me quietly. "He goes to those DA meetings because of you. And I will force him to tell you he still loves you."

"You can't do that," I shook my head.

"Look… that Ball is coming up, right?" Hermione suggested and she shrugged. "That'll be the perfect time. You'll look beautiful and he'll see you and just want to hold you forever –"

"Don't you remember what happened at the last Ball we went to?" I snapped. "I don't want to remember that, alright? I'm not going to the Ball. I decided that a long time ago."

"But you have to go!"

"I don't, actually," I shot back. "Why would I want to sit there all by myself and remember what happened last time? That would really be healthy for me."

"We'll see."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kreacher," I poked my head in the kitchen and the house elf snarled at me. Everyone was at St. Mungo's except for Sirius, who was upstairs sleeping. "Could you do me a favor?"

He grumbled something.

"Could you please get me some firewhisky – but don't tell anyone!" I whispered and Kreacher looked taken aback at my kindness towards him. I would have usually been mean to him, but since I wanted a drink, I thought kindness would be my best bet. Kreacher walked back to his cabinet and returned quickly with two bottles of firewhisky and I grinned, taking them. "Thank you, Kreacher."

Kreacher bowed somewhat and I retreated to my bedroom.

I opened the first bottle and drank it slowly, trying to get used to the burning and tingling sensation in my throat each time I downed a shot. I made contorted and grotesque faces until my throat was finally numb. I was more than slightly tipsy and I heard the door open and close and I knew that everyone was back from St. Mungo's.

I still didn't worry about it, thinking that no one would come into my bedroom.

I had finished both bottles and was lying face down on my bed, humming along to a song in my head when my door opened. I pushed the bottles under my pillow and stopped humming. I was rolled over onto my back and my face lit up.

"Oh! Remus!" I slurred and he shook his head. "You're disappointed, aren't you?"

He didn't speak. Lupin walked out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom. He knelt down beside the bathtub and began to run a bath. When the tub was filled, he returned to the bedroom and sighed. "Sit up, Darcy," he said quietly. "Come get a bath."

"No."

"Yes," he replied firmly. When I wouldn't cooperate, he took my ankles and lifted my legs. He took off my sweatpants and threw them to the ground. "Stop it!" he shouted when I almost kicked him in the face.

"Stop undressing me!" I protested.

"I'm only taking your shirt and pants off," he glared at me angrily. "Undress yourself then and get in the damn bathtub."

"No!"

"Then stop arguing and fucking cooperate with me!"

We both fell silent and stared at each other. I breathed in and he kept his grip on my ankles. I lowered my voice. "Make love to me."

"No. You're drunk," he replied, but he still didn't move. He almost looked as if he couldn't believe I had just suggested it. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I know what I'm saying," I answered quickly. "And I know what I want."

"And what's that? What do you want?"

"_You_!" I cried. "I want _you_!"

"Shh! You'll wake Sirius up!"

I quieted down. "Make love to me, Remus."

He breathed in deeply and pressed his lips to my calf, his lips trailing further up both my legs to my thighs. But quickly, he pulled away and dropped my legs back down to the bed. "I can't. I'm not – stop doing this to me."

"Doing what to you?" I asked, rolling back over onto my stomach.

"Making me love you."

I swallowed loudly and closed my eyes.

"You probably won't remember any of this after you sleep this off," he paused. "But I do love you, Darcy, and I know I'm being shallow by admitting this while you're drunk, but – but I needed to tell you sometime."

And then he walked out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I spent the whole day in the bathtub. I wouldn't let anyone come in, so they were forced to use the bathroom on the third floor, which hadn't been used in a few years. Sirius had to clean it and, though he didn't say anything, I was sure he was annoyed.

When the water would turn cold, I'd simply reach for my wand on the floor and flick my wrist, turning the water steaming hot again. Kreacher had brought me some sandwiches at Sirius's request, but I hadn't taken a single bite out of them.

At midnight, people began to knock on the door, asking me to come out. Harry was first. "Come on, Darcy, come go to bed," he said and I didn't answer. "You can't stay in the bathtub forever."

I stayed quiet.

"You've got to come out, Darcy. Come on, I'll bring you to bed," he continued, but I still remained silent. I didn't feel like talking. I didn't want to talk to anyone. "You can tell me what's wrong. I'm your brother – c'mon, do this for me."

I felt like I was at an intervention. Ron and Hermione came upstairs together and Hermione knocked gently on the door. Knowing that anyone could have simply cast Alohamora on the door and come in did not make me nervous. The fact that no one did come in and grab me around the waist and haul me into my bed made me respect everyone, even if I didn't want to.

"You hungry, Darcy?" Ron asked and I slipped further under the hot bath water. I kept my lips below the water, breathing through my nose. "There's a plate made for you downstairs."

"Come on, Darcy," Hermione added. "You can tell me what's bothering you, right? We're both girls. You tell me everything."

Fred and George were next to try to get me to come out. "We can play pranks on Lupin," George snickered.

"Or give him a love potion to fall in love with Sirius," Fred laughed and I sighed. "That'd be amusing, eh?"

Sirius came up after the twins. He stood outside the door for a few seconds, sighing loudly. "Darcy, come out of that bathroom _now_," he tried in his bossiest voice. If I was twelve, it might have gotten me out of the bath, but I wasn't a child and I wasn't going to have him speak to me like that. "Look, Darcy, if you come out, I'll do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you say."

I could hear the strain in his voice. I could hear him getting frustrated because of me.

"I know why you won't come out, Darcy," Sirius began, the frustration evident in his voice. "You're in there because of Remus, right? Yes, you are. Well, what the hell are you thinking? Why do you keep throwing yourself at him? Don't you realize that he'll never take you back? You know it, but you keep going after him anyway! He can't handle your lifestyle. He can't handle your life! You can't live in his life, either! He only wants you around when he's bored with both Tonks and himself! But if you want to keep going to him and loving him, be my guest, but you and I both know that you'll only find heartache and pain at the end of that road."

I felt tears fall down my cheeks. I knew he was right. Sirius was always right. Lupin would never want me. We didn't belong together – our lives were just too different. I stood up out of the water and shivered, goosebumps appearing all over my skin. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, pushing my hair out of my face. I drained the water and unlocked the door, swinging it wide open.

Sirius looked at me seriously. "I'm sorry you had to hear all that – you know I didn't mean –"

"You're right," I said, my voice scratchy.

We were quiet for a moment. "Come on, Darcy," he put his hand on my back and gently pushed me towards my bedroom. "Go to bed. Get some sleep."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was sent back to Hogwarts with Lupin, Tonks, and Mad-Eye to see Madam Pomfrey. I was sick and depressed. Madam Pomfrey had let me settle into one of her hospital beds and I sighed. Lupin was in the hospital wing with me as Madam Pomfrey took my temperature and tried to feed me crackers and soup. I wouldn't eat.

"She can't stay alone," Madam Pomfrey explained to Lupin quietly. "She'll starve herself."

"So you're going to keep her here?" Lupin asked.

"No, no," Madam Pomfrey continued. "I'm going to send her back to her own quarters. I don't think she'd like staying here for so long. But someone will have to look after her for a few days. Make sure she eats and gets up out of bed."

"Alright. I'll let Harry know."

"Heavens, no!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed. "You can't have a child taking care of her! You think a fifteen-year-old would be able to do that? No, no, no… it should be an adult."

"Well, who –"

"What about yourself, Mr. Lupin?" Madam Pomfrey asked, walking over to another student and feeding them some more medicine. "Surely you can handle taking care of her for a few days? You're not too busy, are you?"

Lupin hesitated. "No, I'm not. When should I take her back?"

"Whenever you want to. She's fine to go back to her room right now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How about some tea?" Lupin set a steaming mug on the bedside table, but I just looked up at him. He opened his mouth to say something else, but there was a knock on my door and Lupin sped off to open it. I heard him snort. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Excuse me?" came the deep voice that belonged to Snape. "I request a word with Miss Potter."

I watched as Snape approached my bedroom door, clutching a vial in his hand. He walked over and set it on my bedside table. I looked at him.

"Dumbledore told me to bring you that. It should help," Snape replied. "He also told me that I should begin to teach Harry Occlumency."

I didn't say anything, but I kept staring at him as he stood tall beside my bed.

"Umbridge has been asking about you, so don't be upset if she begins to question you later." He took in a deep breath and looked around my room. "I also request your presence in my classroom when term resumes. I'm going to have you begin teaching some lessons soon." He went to leave, but then turned around again and opened the vial he had left for me. He poured it into my tea. "That will only last for five minutes. You better drink it."

Snape left and I sighed and sat up, drinking the tea. The potion he had made had no taste and when I finished my drink, I laid back down. Lupin walked in.

"What did he want?"

I shrugged.

"Alright, well, it's getting late." He pulled the blankets up on me and made all the candles go out with a flick of his wrist. "I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Are you sure you don't want any food?"

I nodded and he sighed, sitting down beside me on my bed.

"You know, Dumbledore agreed to a New Years Eve Ball," Lupin continued. "He said it was a good idea… even though Umbridge isn't fond of the idea." He watched me, but I stared past him. "Will you talk to me? Please? Tell me why you won't speak. Tell me why you're depressed."

Finally, I spoke. "Sirius told me things about you."

"Told you what about me? What have I done?"

"That you'll never want me. You just 'want' me when you're bored with yourself and Tonks."

"You know that's not true –"

"It is true. I'll always be second best in your life now," I said quietly. "I've known it for a long time now and I honestly don't know what possesses me to keep coming back to you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm so glad you're getting around now," Hermione said, looking at the different dresses. "It's just like last time, remember?" She smiled at me.

"Do you remember what happened last time?" I asked her with a smirk. "Lupin broke up with me and I didn't even want to go in the first place. I still don't want to go."

"Well, you're going to go anyway. I'm going to make you," she replied. "I can't believe you haven't found one yet. We've been to three stores! Darcy, all these are gorgeous."

"What? Have you found one?" I snapped my head to look at her. She nodded and held up a pale yellow, strapless dress that fell just below her knees. "Dammit. Sorry I'm taking so long – oh, wait, how about this one - ?"

I held up a thin, floor length, purple dress with the fabric covering the right shoulder. Hermione smiled and nodded. "That's beautiful," she told me. "Have you seen Tonks's dress?"

My face dropped. "No. Why?"

"It's horrid. She's got nothing on you."


	13. Nymphadora Tonks

**NYMPHADORA TONKS.**

"Have you eaten today?" Lupin asked me from the kitchen.

"No," I replied sadly. "I'm not hungry. I told you that."

"Madam Pomfrey said you have to eat, Darcy," he scolded me. "There's soup from last night – which you didn't eat. Do you want that?"

"I told you, I don't want anything. I'm not hungry."

He poked his head into my bedroom. "How about peanut butter and jelly?"

I grinned.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ready?" Hermione turned to me and I nodded. We locked arms and walked down the stairs together, our high heels clicking against the marble. She looked very pretty in her dress with her hair curled and in a bun. My hair was simply curled and it fell down my shoulders.

The Great Hall was full of people and decorated much more elegantly than in my last year at Hogwarts. Some professors were standing by and watching, while others danced, having a good time. "Where are Harry and Ron?" I asked as we entered the Great Hall. People turned to look at the two of us and I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. Hermione looked uncomfortable with the attention as well. "Come on, let's just get some punch."

We walked over to the punch table and Hermione pointed to where Ron and Harry were sitting. "Should I go get them?"

"Yeah, go ask who they're here with. I'll be right there." Hermione walked away and I heard a throat being cleared behind me. I set the drinks down and turned around, but frowned when I saw Lucius Malfoy standing before me. "What are you doing here?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms. From behind Lucius, I saw Hermione staring suspiciously at him.

"Many workers from the Ministry were invited by Umbridge," Lucius responded. "I just wanted to know if you'd like to dance. This is a Ball and I would like to speak with you."

"Are you going to kill me because of what I said last time we met?" I asked, scanning the Great Hall. There were, in fact, many Ministry workers in attendance. "In Diagon Alley? Surely you remember."

Lucius kept a calm expression. "I assure you that you will leave this Ball perfectly healthy and unscathed." He held out his hand and I looked at it. "Come now, Miss Potter. It's just dancing."

"I don't think so." I shook my head and laughed at him.

He smirked. "But don't you want to make Mr. Lupin jealous?" He cocked an eyebrow and I looked past Lucius to see Lupin dancing slowly with Tonks. When I caught him staring, he looked away quickly. "He keeps looking over here." He remained still, his hand still being held out in front of him. "Take my hand, Miss Potter."

I sighed and took his hand, letting him lead me to the dance floor. People stared at us and whispered. Umbridge looked furious and clenched her fists, walking over closer to us to watch us. Lucius put a gentle hand on my waist and I reluctantly put my hand on his shoulder. I tried not to look up into his face, but rather at everyone else who was watching us in awe. "You said you wanted to speak to me, Mr. Malfoy," I scoffed. "So speak."

"I want you to know that I have not been speaking against you at the Ministry," he said quietly and I opened my mouth to interrupt him, but he continued. "Oh yes, I know all about your dream to become an Auror."

I glared at him.

"But anyway," he said. "It's Fudge who is the stubborn one. Doesn't want to believe the Dark Lord is back."

I narrowed my eyes. "I hardly know anyone on our side that calls him the Dark Lord," I snapped. "You don't fool me, Mr. Malfoy. Fudge may be an imbecile, but I am not."

Lucius smiled down at me as the next song began and we continued to dance. "You're mistaken," he tried to assure me. "I'm on the side of the Ministry now."

"And with all your money and power and influence," I began. "Fudge still doesn't believe Voldemort is back? Have you been trying to convince him otherwise? And how much gold are you giving him to let his people publish all this nonsense about me and my brother?"

"Don't speak his name!" Lucius hissed in my ear. "To answer your questions, Miss Potter, I have been trying to convince him, but he will not believe it. As for the _Prophet_, I have no control over that. I'm afraid, my dear, what he publishes is out of my hands." He regained his composure and put on a small smile.

My fingers slipped to grab his left wrist and he flinched. "I'm not an idiot, Mr. Malfoy. I know what hides underneath your sleeve. I know what it branded on your skin."

He chuckled. "You're being ridiculous."

"You are trying to make a fool of me," I looked away and saw Lupin glance at Lucius with an angry look. Seeing Lupin like that, I inched closer to Lucius's body. I spoke quieter. "I don't know what information you're trying to get out of me, but I will never trust you. I'll never confide in _you_."

He was quiet for a moment. "I didn't expect you to, Miss Potter," he answered finally. "I'm sure Mr. Arthur Weasley has spoken badly of me to you. It seems to be a hobby of his."

"He has said some things, yes, but I wouldn't dare tell you." I breathed in sharply and stared him right in the eyes. "You are an evil man – there is no denying it. You were in that graveyard in Little Hangleton last summer. Harry told me everything. And wouldn't your master be so proud of you if you just blew me to bits right here?"

He was silent.

"He wouldn't be very happy knowing you had me right in your grasp," I smirked. "And you let me get away?"

I tried to pull away from him, but he held onto me tighter. "Do not test me," he warned, but I only laughed. "I wasn't myself that night."

"You were his right hand man and you know it. You still are!" I protested. "You were fully aware of what was happening. You watched Cedric get murdered right before your eyes. You watched as Voldemort was reborn and tortured my brother. You watched as Voldemort tried to kill Harry. You were there."

He glared at me. "Go ahead. Announce your beliefs about me. But who would believe a Potter in the middle of all this madness? Who would believe that about someone like me?"

"You're disgusting," I whispered. "You're probably here on Voldemort's orders. You're probably talking to me on his orders and as soon as you leave, you'll relay everything back to him."

"You best watch yourself, Miss Potter."

"I believe this dance is over." I curtsied to look polite and he did a small bow. I stepped backwards and then turned, walking back over to Hermione, Harry and Ron, who had been watching the whole thing.

"What just happened?" Harry asked angrily. "Were you just dancing with him? What did you just do?"

"Trying to get information, probably," I sighed, sitting down. "He's evil and I let him know it."

"Well, at least you've had someone to dance with," Hermione replied with a glare at Ron. "Oh, here comes Lupin, Darcy!"

I looked up and Lupin stopped in front of me. "Hi," I said weakly and he raised his eyebrows.

"The fuck do you think you're doing? You know he's a Death Eater, right? What are you even thinking -?"

"Look, if you just came over here to yell at me for things that I already am aware of, then just go away," I groaned. "Now really isn't the time to get mad at me. Please, just leave me alone."

Lupin looked around and then held out his hand. "Dance with me," he replied quietly. "Please?"

I looked to see Tonks chatting with Mad-Eye, drinking some punch. I nodded and stood up, taking his hand tightly. He held me tightly around the waist, his other hand holding mine, our fingers lacing together. We moved smoothly together, our feet moving in sync.

"Finally we can dance together in front of everyone," he smiled weakly and I nodded, looking up at him. "I'm glad you're better. I'm glad you're finally out of your bed."

"You took good care of me," I replied with a grin. I rested my head on his shoulder and he breathed in deeply and sighed. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Lupin chuckled. "I was the one who caused it all in the first place."

I licked my lips. "Do you remember what happened last time there was a Ball? What happened with us?"

"Yes. I do. Do you think I could forget what happened?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't going to come tonight, though," I said. "Hermione made me. She's very persuasive, you know."

"What'd she say?" Lupin smiled.

"She said that if I didn't go, she'd tell Umbridge that Voldemort was back. And you know what happens to people who try to convince Umbridge," I replied. It was quiet between us for second. "You told me you loved me last time there was a Ball."

"Mhm," he said. "In a broom closet."

"You told me you loved me at Grimmauld Place," I whispered. "Remember? You thought I wouldn't remember."

"Oh… yeah, I did."

"Why couldn't you just tell me?" I asked, looking up at him. "Why'd you have to say it when you thought I was drunk? When you thought I wouldn't be able to remember?"

"I – I don't know why I did it –" he stammered and I looked away, back at Harry, who was dancing with Cho. I rested my head back on Lupin's shoulder. "Wait – Darcy –" He gently pushed me away and smiled weakly at Tonks. I stared at her and she greeted me.

"Hi, Tonks," I replied. "I – I think – I'm gonna go."

"Go? But it's just started," Tonks said, crossing her arms. "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sat at the top of the steps, my shoes off, my head in my hands, watching everyone in the Great Hall dancing. I sighed and saw Tonks walking quickly out of the room. Lupin stood watching her. She raced up the stairs and sat beside me quietly. I looked at her. She certainly wasn't ugly. Her purple hair went well with the black dress she wore and she was skinny and had a cute face.

Tonks took her shoes off and put them next to mine. "Remus told me about you."

"Did he?" I replied quietly. "What did he say about me?"

"No," Tonks said. "He told me about you and him."

"Oh."

"Why would he hide something like that from me?" she asked, running her fingers through her hair. I felt bad for her, I really did. "He never once mentioned having a thing with you." My heart broke a little more. She honestly thought what Lupin and I had just been a 'thing'? It was so much more than that and I began to wonder what he had really told her. And why had he kept me a secret?

"I'm sorry he didn't tell you before," I told her sincerely. "I don't have the faintest idea why he didn't bring it up."

"He certainly isn't ashamed," she shrugged. "He talks about you all the time… as his best friend."

I looked at her. "I'm sorry, Tonks," I said again.

"Well, it fits now," she continued. "You were depressed because of him, weren't you? I see the way you look at him – it's sweet, really. You still love him, don't you? Oh, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"No, I – I don't – Tonks –"

"Don't worry about it. I think he loves you too," she sighed. "Do you want to know what he said? Aren't you curious?"

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I'd rather be honest with you, Darcy. You seem like a good person and I respect you – I really do." She breathed in and as I looked down at the ground, she turned to face me. "He told me how you were his student and he was your professor. He told me how you wanted to be like him. He told me how you gave up your dreams for him." She paused again. "And he didn't wait for you. I know it. You were waiting for him, though, weren't you?"

"Well, I –" I couldn't answer her. I simply fell silent.

"How could you do that? You gave up everything for him. You could be doing great things, Darcy. You're talented and brave and smart, but you're here. You're an intern with Snape. Is that where you really wanted to be at this point in your life?"

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but since Tonks had already let some fall from her eyes, I felt like I had to be the strong one. I held my tears back, blinking a few times. "I'm already trying to beat Voldemort. I don't need the Ministry to make it official."

"Why are you still here?" she asked simply. "Aren't you here because of Remus? You gave up _everything_. I just can't believe that. I mean, you must have really loved him."

"I – well, I did," I said. "I guess I just thought that other things were more important than being an Auror."

"I ruined everything, didn't I?" she started to cry harder and I shook my head frantically, patting her back awkwardly. "I did and I know it!"

"No, Tonks – me and Remus are just friends and that's it!" I reassured her. I couldn't let her know. I couldn't let someone else get hurt. I didn't want her to feel the way I did for so long. I didn't want her to feel guilty and depressed. I didn't want _anyone_ to feel the way I did. Besides, growing up meant moving on and I had more important things to deal with. "We're just friends and you didn't ruin anything at all. I don't know why he told you what he did and I'm sorry if it made you upset in any way, but I know that hurting you was not his intention. He doesn't like hurting anyone, trust me, please."

"But you love him, Darcy. It's not fair to you!"

"Tonks, you listen to me," I said. "Life is never fair to me. What I had with Remus was nice, but we've both moved on. He's got you now and he wants you and he loves you. You haven't ruined anything and I don't know why you think that. You two belong together. He needs you. Without you, he'd be nothing. He's lucky to have you."

Tonks wiped her eyes and I wanted to cry as well. We finally looked at each other, our eyes meeting and she nodded. "I just thought – that maybe – I thought that he was here just to be with you, you know?

"He's here to be with me because of a different reason," I explained gently, taking her hand and comforting her. "He's here to protect me and Harry from Voldemort."

Tonks nodded and wiped her eyes, fixing the eyeliner that had smeared. "What are you doing out here by yourself?" she asked me quietly and my eyes widened and I shrugged. "Why aren't you dancing with anyone?"

"I suppose I don't have anyone to dance with," I shrugged. "Everyone here is either too young or too old for me." I sighed loudly, but didn't mean to. I didn't want her feeling bad for me.

At that moment, Lupin walked out of the Great Hall, started towards the stairs and stopped when he saw us sitting together and Tonks crying still. He froze and looked at me and then his girlfriend. I stood up, grabbed my shoes and walked up the stairs, turning a corner and sitting down, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

I wanted them to be happy. I wanted Lupin to comfort her and tell her he loved her, I really did. I didn't want anyone to be depressed. I didn't want anyone to feel the way I did. I knew that I had plenty of more important things to deal with than love.

I turned the corner to see if Lupin was talking to Tonks, but I was surprised when my face met his chest and I stumbled backwards. "I'm so sorry," I said, a bit startled. "I didn't know – what are you doing?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. You left in such a hurry," he replied, taking a step closer to me so we were both concealed by the wall.

"But Tonks – she was crying," I said, pointing back towards the stairs. "You should be comforting her!"

"But you're my best friend." He took in a deep breath and then smiled weakly at me. "I stopped and I wanted to talk to her, but she wouldn't say anything, so I came to talk to you instead."

"Oh…"

"You're alright, right? What did she say? Did she – did she get mad at you?" he asked. "Nevermind if she got mad at you – what I meant was…"

"Yes," I smiled. "I'm okay. It's Tonks you should be worrying about."

"Your dress is really pretty," he said suddenly and I raised my eyebrows and smiled wider. "And your hair. And you. You're beautiful, Darcy, you know that?"

"You tell me often," I reminded him. "But thank you. You look nice, too."

He looked at me and I thought he was going to say something else, but he didn't. In one fluent motion, his hand was placed upon my cheek and his lips were being pressed onto mine.


	14. Trust

**TRUST.**

I pulled away reluctantly. "We have to be careful," I warned him in a whisper. "Now that she knows about us."

Lupin looked at me and then nodded slowly.

"I'm going to go back to the Ball and talk to Harry," I told him and I stood on my tip toes and pecked his cheek. As I slipped my shoes on, Hermione poked her head around the corner and I raised my eyebrow. She grabbed my hand. "What's going on?"

"There's people who want to meet you," she explained. "People from the Ministry."

"No!" I ripped my hand away from Hermione's. "The Ministry hates me! Why would anyone want to meet me and why would I want to meet them?"

"I've… convinced them… that you aren't a bad person. I told them all about your grades and your talent," she grinned. "And of course, Lucius Malfoy put a word in or two about you."

Our attention was suddenly caught by the blonde haired man walking out of the Great Hall and out onto the grounds, followed by Snape. Snape looked back at me and then at Hermione, following Lucius in a hurry. I turned to Hermione, pulled out my wand and tapped her head, performing a Disillusionment Charm. I did the same for me and we removed our heels so no one would hear the clicking of our shoes against the ground.

We snuck outside and a few yards away where Lucius was smiling at Snape's cold, hard face. "Think about it, Severus," he was saying.

"Think about what?" Snape snapped.

"I'm sure I could persuade the Minister to let Miss Darcy Potter get some kind of job at the Ministry," Lucius continued. "And you know what that means."

"I don't, Lucius."

"Death Eaters will be able to keep an eye on her. We'll be able to get information out of her," he said. "The Dark Lord will be able to get to her easier."

I breathed in sharply. Why was he telling Snape all of this? "Darcy Potter is no fool, Lucius, and she does not trust you. She knows who her friends are in all of this," he paused to take a breath. "And besides, she wouldn't leave her brother's side. Not in all this mess. You seem to think she's a daft bimbo – in reality, Lucius, she is not just a pretty face."

"I hardly recall calling her daft," Lucius smirked. "Or a bimbo. And from what you have to say, it seems as if you're defending her. Have you feelings for her? Or is it because of sweet Lily? Do you feel obligated to protect her, Severus? If she is more than a pretty face, I doubt she needs much protecting."

Snape's face twisted and he frowned. "She's stubborn. She insists she can do it by herself."

"Do what, exactly?" Lucius laughed. "Defeat the Dark Lord?"

"Something along those lines."

"You know," Lucius said seriously. "He's angry. You didn't return when he was reborn."

"Because I was here and he knows that," Snape replied coldly. "I had to play my part. Dumbledore needs to believe that I'm on his side now and what would he think if I ran away to go assist you in bringing back the Dark Lord? I am only doing my job as a spy."

My blood turned ice cold and I reached out, trying to find Hermione. I found her elbow and I grabbed her arm. My eyes were wide.

"Besides, here at Hogwarts, I can keep a close eye on both Miss and Mr. Potter," Snape finished. "Dumbledore has even asked me to keep a close eye on Darcy."

"You better not be lying to me, Severus," Lucius said firmly, taking a step towards the castle again. "I have a feeling we will all be meeting again towards the end of the year." I took a step back as Lucius almost walked right into me and I stepped on a leaf, crunching it underneath my foot. I held my breath and Lucius froze and looked around. "Did you hear that?"

"It's probably just some animal," Snape said as he walked briskly past Lucius, his black cloaks billowing behind him. Lucius took a final glance around the area and then strode into the castle. I pulled my wand out and took the charm off both me and Hermione and our eyes were wide. My face was pale.

"Snape's a spy," I repeated, my voice barely audible. "He's on their side. He's going to kill us."

"He can't be," Hermione shook her head. "He was defending you. He's just trying to –"

But I didn't stay to listen to her. I ran off towards the castle, running as fast as I could in my dress. I saw Snape turn the corner, up the stairs and I skipped up the stairs and caught up to him. Lucius was nowhere in sight. I was panting, panicking and scared.

"I trusted you!" I shouted and Snape turned around, startled at my sudden appearance. His face hardened. "How could you? We all trusted you!"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" he hissed. "You think I'm stupid enough to think you wouldn't go out and spy? I know you well enough, Miss Potter. I am not against you. I am not trying to kill you. In fact, I'm trying to do quite the opposite. I'm trying to protect you – if you'd let me."

"Prove it," I challenged him.

Snape smirked. "Alright, I'll prove it," he thought for a moment. "Your brother has Occlumency tomorrow. Come an hour before. I won't be there, but the door will be open."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I pushed open the door to the potions room and walked inside, looking around. Snape wasn't there, like he said, and I sighed. What was I supposed to do if he wasn't coming? How was he supposed to prove anything if he wasn't going to be there? But as I turned to leave, something caught my attention.

Dumbledore's Pensieve was sitting in the corner of the room. I walked over to it and looked around. Whose memory was even in there? Was it Snape's? Dumbledore's? I glanced towards the door once more and breathed in deeply, diving straight into the Pensieve…

I fell down and down and down until I landed in the Great Hall. I looked around and noticed that everyone was testing. It was their O.W.L. tests, so everyone in the room had to be about Harry's age. I immediately spotted Snape, sitting with his face close to his paper and he was writing furiously on his paper with his quill. He had the same black, greasy hair framing his pale, sour face.

I turned around quickly and my heart stopped as I noticed Sirius Black, his dark hair in his eyes, his chair tilted on two legs. He was giving the thumbs up sign to someone and as I followed his line of sight, I found my father sitting in his chair, grinning back at my godfather. I felt tears well up in my eyes and I didn't know why. I quickly wiped them away, glad no one could see them. My father looked just like Harry and I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I couldn't even bring myself to lift my arm.

I knew that if my father and Sirius were there, then – Lupin was sitting in another chair, scratching his chin with his quill, rereading his paper. My heart fluttered as I saw the teenaged Lupin. He was handsome, scarred, and kind faced and I grinned. Peter Pettigrew was a few seats back, nervously glancing around him, hopeful for some answers.

As the tests were collected, Snape stood up quickly and I followed him reluctantly, leaving the four friends behind. Snape walked out towards the Black Lake, passing the Marauders'.

I looked towards my father and his friends, though. Peter was watching my dad show off by catching a Snitch and Sirius was eyeing up some girls. Lupin was studying and I smiled – that was so much like him, it was like he hadn't changed.

And then all of a sudden, Sirius's head snapped and looked towards Snape. We were far enough away now, almost towards a nice tree to sit under, when Snape turned around, pulling out his wand _almost as if he were expecting it_. My eyes widened.

"_Expelliarmus_!" My father had disarmed Snape. Sirius was laughing. "_Impedimenta_!" Snape was knocked down to the ground.

People had gathered to watch now and I was disgusted. My stomach churned as I watched my father bully Snape, but I still didn't see how this was proving anything. Either way, I felt sick to my stomach and hoped that my father would soon stop. I looked towards Lupin – he was still buried in his book, trying to ignore what my father and Sirius were doing.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" my father asked and I cringed.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius. "There'll be grease marks all over it; they won't be able to read a word."

Snape was struggling to stand up, but the curse kept him bound on the ground. He began shouting a stream of nasty words, curses and hexes, but since his wand was still out of reach, the spells had no effect on anyone.

"Wash out your mouth!" my father snorted. "_Scourgify_!"

Pink soapy bubbles foamed from Snape's mouth, choking him and then –

"Leave him ALONE!"

I spun on my heels to see a red headed girl with green eyes stamping angrily towards the scene. She looked just like me, or rather, I looked just like her. I looked back at Snape and only caught parts of my parent's conversation as Snape struggled, inching towards his wand.

"But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said my father. "Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Snape had pointed his wand and flicked his wrist towards my father and there was a flash of light. A cut appeared on the side of my father's cheek and he was bleeding. My father retaliated quickly, hanging Snape upside down in the air, letting his pants fall to reveal his graying underwear. I finally reached out to Snape, trying anything to get him down, but when my hand reached his flailing one, my hand went right through his, like I was a ghost.

Anger surged inside me as I looked at my father and his friends again. I looked again and Snape, who was looking at my mother. But it was different this time. I saw the way he looked at her. I knew what he was thinking.

It was the way Harry looked at Cho. It was the way Tonks looked at Lupin. It was the way Lupin looked at me. I knew what Lucius was talking about when he mentioned 'sweet Lily' now. I knew what he meant when he asked if Snape felt 'obligated to protect me'.

Severus Snape loved my mother and he was still in love with her and as long as he was in love with her, he wouldn't lay a hand on me or my brother. I was sure of it. I knew it. And as I was contemplating all of this, still in shock, I heard Snape speak for the first time.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

My heart stopped and I looked from Snape to my mother. She blinked and then bit her bottom lip. "Fine," she told him. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

Suddenly, I was thrown out of the Pensieve and I landed on my ass. I was still alone. Tears were brimming my eyes and it wasn't because I loved Snape or something like that.

It was because I knew how it felt. I knew what it felt like to be in the middle of everyone. I knew what it was like to be bullied and talked about and I knew what it was like to have people hate me. It was happening to me that year. I knew why Snape didn't want to be there when I saw that – that was his worst memory and he didn't want to relive it ever again – who would want to?

I ran up the stairs to my quarters, but met Lupin on the way. He turned to me and smiled. "Hey, where were you? I was just knocking –"

"You _bastard_!" I screamed, smacking his chest as hard as I could. I aimed for his face and his chest and his stomach, punching and slapping until he caught my wrists and held me tightly. Tears filled my eyes. "I can't believe you!"

"What are you talking about?" he cried, gripping my wrists tighter so I wouldn't hit him.

"You were horrible to Snape! You sat there and watched it happen!"

"What?"

"You hung him upside down and pulled his pants down and –"

"Your father did that! Not me!"

"But you let it happen!" I yelled and he fell silent. "You sat there and pretended like it wasn't happening! You let it happen, Remus! How could you?"

"Why are you so concerned about something that happened to _Snape_ – of all people – over ten years ago? Why are you so upset about it?" Lupin asked and he shook his head. "Why are you so concerned about him?"

"Do you know what it feels like? Do you have any idea what it's like to have people watching as you're being humiliated?" I asked. "Do you know what it's like to lose someone you really love? _I_ do!"

He was quiet. "Why do you even care about Snape? He's horrible to you. I see the way he treats you."

"Horrible?" I pulled away from him and smacked his chest hard again. "As if! He's been kind enough to invite me back as an intern so I could stay here with Harry! And he defended me against Lucius Malfoy!"

"But he's –"

"You are _disgusting_! You make me absolutely _sick_!"

"We were only fifteen!"

"Harry is fifteen!" I replied angrily. "Harry is fifteen and do you see him jinxing someone just because they don't like them? What was wrong with you?"

"How did you find out about this?" Lupin asked quietly and I shut my mouth.

"Snape told me," I lied softly. "He told me because I told him to prove that he's –" I wasn't sure what Lupin knew. I shut my mouth and looked him right in the eyes.

"Prove that he's what?"

"Prove that he wouldn't hurt me."

"Why wouldn't he hurt you? Just because we made fun of him? I don't understand."

"You never noticed the way that he looked at my mother, did you?" I said with confidence. "It's the same way that Tonks looks at you and probably the same way I look at you – not anymore, though! He loved her! Snape loved my mum and because of that, he wouldn't lay a finger on me or Harry!"

"Looked at your… you said he told you this," Lupin frowned and his forehead creased.

"He had pictures."

"Would you quit lying to me?" he shouted and I felt like a child being scolded. Lupin hardly ever raised his voice around me. Although, I couldn't hide it any longer and I recalled what I had heard him say to Lucius Malfoy and what Snape said when I confronted him. I told him about going into the room and into Snape's memory.

"Please don't tell anyone," I begged.

"I have to. I have to tell Dumbledore."

"No, you can't," I pleaded, grabbing Lupin's arm. "He's on our side. You have to trust Snape. You have to trust _me_."

"I do trust you, Darcy," Lupin replied. "But you don't know Snape like I do. He was always with Death Eaters when he was in school. All of his old school friends work for Voldemort now and –"

"And now he's under close watch by Dumbledore. Dumbledore is smart – extremely bright – and he'd be able to tell if Snape was lying."

"But what if you're wrong?" There was some sort of strain in his voice.

"Listen to me, please," I whispered. "I heard Snape call my mother a Mudblood. He lost her that day. You don't really know what it's like to lose someone you truly love. And I think – I think that's why he's so nice to me. Because I look like my mum. I mean, he certainly isn't in love with me, but I know he wouldn't hurt me or Harry. Why would he hurt the two people in his life that are part of her?"

"What if he doesn't want part of your mum around? What if he's too…? I don't know – damaged? What if he doesn't want the constant reminder?"

I looked up at him. "When you lose someone you love," I said again. "You'll always want them around."

"You act like I don't know what it's like."

I shook my head. "You don't."

"I lost you, didn't I?"

I shook my head again. "I'm right here, Remus," I looked down, hiding my tears. "It's me who has lost you. I've lost you to another girl. You haven't lost me to anything. I'll always be here for you. You'll never lose me."


	15. Lonely People

**Dear readers, I am sooooo sorry that I haven't been updated, but I've been in and out of the hospital for about a month and a half now and it's been pure torture. I've missed so much school so I'm working on making up all my homework and FAP's and I've spent too much time with my teachers as they try to reteach all their lessons to me for finals. **

**I've had a few surgeries and procedures done already. I've had my blood tested three times, my urine tested five times, a biopsy on my colon, ultrasounds, x-rays, CT scans, and they still can't figure out what's wrong with me. I get the biopsy results like, next week so I'm waiting for that.**

**Plus, I've been watching lots of Dr. Oz and it makes me terrified because now I'm scared I have ovarian cancer! Haha. Oh, can you believe Oprah is over? I wish it would never end – I love her! **

**But enjoy this next chapter – enough of my rambling…**

**LONELY PEOPLE.**

Moody and Tonks were called to the Ministry for a few days and they left with other Ministry workers quickly. Lupin had come over to my room for the first night and settled down on my couch with a cup of tea in his hand.

"How's Harry?" Lupin yelled to me. I was in the bedroom changing into sweatpants.

"What do you mean?" I asked, walking back out and sitting on the couch.

"With his Occlumency lessons," Lupin replied. "I heard Snape's kind of giving him a rough time."

"Oh yeah, I suppose," I shrugged and looked away. "But he's got to learn eventually, right? Occlumency is a tough thing to learn. Dumbledore tried to teach me during my fifth year, but it didn't really work out."

Lupin stared at me and I raised my eyebrow. "You're very much like your father, Darcy. You don't know how much."

"I'm nothing like my father!" I protested.

"Ah," Lupin looked away from me and sighed. "You're still bitter about what you saw. Well, I can assure you, I've grown out of that. I've grown up. I can't say much about Sirius, but…"

"Have you apologized to Snape? Have you ever once said something nice to him?" I asked. "You don't know how it feels to be in the middle of something, being bullied like that. You have no idea. You pretend to know – you pretend to sympathize, but you have no idea what it feels like."

"I do know what it feels like!" he yelled. "I know goddamn well what it feels like! Certainly you haven't forgotten what I am!"

"That's different!"

"Different? _Different_?" Lupin shook his head. "Everyone here at Hogwarts is intimidated by Snape because he's – well, he's mean to everyone. Everyone here is scared of me because I'm a – a – a monster! And everyone knows it! People look at me and they're scared I'm going to bite them – have you forgotten how Umbridge acts around me? That's how everyone acts around me!"

"I don't act like that around you," I snapped. "So stop yelling at me! You know what? I'm getting the feeling that you use your 'problem' as an excuse sometimes. Has anyone ever told you that? It's the reason I can't be with you. It's the reason you don't have to apologize to Snape. It's the reason for fucking everything!"

Lupin blinked. "It's not like you know how it feels to be like me," he retorted.

"I could, you know," I replied, still a little loudly. "Don't you remember? I asked you if you could change me, but you said no."

"Only because I don't want you to get hurt!"

"It's not like I've been hurt before."

"Not like this."

"Just stop it!" I yelled in his face. "It – it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want to be like you. You'll never want me."

He looked at me and smiled weakly. "I do want you, Darcy. I like having you around. You're good to me – sometimes too good to me."

"No," I whispered, tucking my hair behind my ear. "That's not what I meant… I suppose Sirius was right about us in the first place." There was a silence and I put my hands in my lap, looking straight ahead and avoiding Lupin's eyes. "I don't know why I keep offering myself to you when I know that you'll never take me back. I don't know why I keep trying. I know that nothing is going to happen to us. We're friends.

"We're both lonely people and the kisses that we shared meant nothing. The times we spent talking about our feelings were nothing. When you held my hand, it was only friendship and when you told me you loved me, you simply felt bad for me. There is no point in trying anymore."

I slowly turned my head to look at Lupin and he was staring at me. Desperate to change the subject, I reached for his teacup on the coffee table.

"I'll get you some more tea," I said, standing. "If you'd like."

Lupin stood and I raised my eyebrows. He took the teacup out of my hands and lightly set it back on the table, taking a step closer to me. "How would Sirius know my feelings for you?" he asked quietly. "I wouldn't tell him anything."

"Well… what are your feelings for me?" I asked him, my eyes flicking down to his lips.

He smiled. "I care about you, Darcy. Hell, I _love_ you. I really do. I wouldn't ever let you get hurt – not while I'm here."

I moved forward quickly, forcing my lips upon his. He placed his hands on my hips while I snaked my arms around his neck. He pushed me backwards gently, leading me to my bedroom. Every touch was pure pleasure, sending chills up and down my spine. He laid me down on the bed, kneeling over me and I peeled off his cardigan, pulling over his head and throwing it to the ground. His fingers delicately worked on the buttons to my shirt, undoing them bottom to top and throwing my shirt on top of his own on the floor.

He held my hips, causing my back to arch with pleasure. I ran my fingers through his hair as his lips met my collarbones. When at last his lips touched mine again, I fumbled with his pants and eventually, reached out for my wand and the rest of our clothes were removed.

He pulled away from me and held himself above me, placing light kisses on my forehead and cheeks. "I love you," he whispered.

I smiled, kissing his lips. "I love you too."

Lupin lowered himself and I gripped his shoulders, his lips capturing mine in a bruising kiss as he entered me and I felt a sudden pain. I cried out and he kissed me again, distracting me from the surging pain in my lower body. He was gentle with me just like I remembered him being and I felt as if we hadn't even missed a day.

After sweating and panting and gasping and kissing, he fell beside me and I closed my eyes, exhausted and nervous. "Does this make me a bad person?" I breathed, still catching my breath.

"No," he replied. "It makes me a bad person."

"I should have said 'no'."

"I don't regret this." He rolled over on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "I love you, Darcy."

I rolled over, my back towards him and he wrapped an arm around my waist. He moved closer to me. "When I was four years old, Harry was born. My parents fussed over him and whenever Harry would cry, they'd drop whatever they were doing and run to his side. They'd leave me, whatever they were doing with me, and go to Harry to make sure he was alright. I didn't hate Harry for it, but I was jealous because I thought that my parents thought Harry was special and that he was the only person they did that for. I was convinced my parents never treated me like they did him. I couldn't remember being a baby, so I just thought I was forgotten about.

"I became really frustrated and I'd go in my room and cry and cry and cry because I was absolutely certain my parents didn't want me or love me anymore. I would cry into my pillow until my head spun and I fell asleep. That was the only time I cried – when I was in my room by myself. I secretly wanted my parents to hear and take care of me, but I was too embarrassed.

"But one night before I fell asleep, mum heard me crying and she came in and kept asking what was wrong. She rubbed my back and stroked my hair until I finally told her to leave me alone because she didn't love me anymore. I was only four, so it probably sounded stupid, but she didn't laugh at me. Instead, she actually looked hurt. I didn't know it then because I was so young, but that's how I remember her face now. Hurt.

"She told me I was her first born and that I would always be special to her. She never wanted to put me second because she said mums and dads shouldn't put one child over the other. She told me she loved me over and over again until I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, she picked me up in her arms and we went out for breakfast."

Lupin was quiet as his fingers ran gently through my hair.

"Not long after that, my parents were killed." I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I swallowed loudly. "That's the earliest memory I can really remember in detail. And the look on my mum's face… I wish I could forget it. But every time I look in the mirror, my face looks so much like my mum's. Hurt."

Lupin touched his lips to my temple.

"What I'm trying to say is," I continued with a huge sigh. "I'm used to getting put second by now. I know the feeling. I can't say I'm happy with it, but –" I rolled over in his arms to face him. "I'm happy I have you for the time being. I wouldn't want anyone else."

He kissed my lips tenderly and pulled away. I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed light kisses along his collarbones.

"Why are you with Tonks?" I asked, looking up at him. He breathed in deeply. "Do you love her?"

"Not like I used to," he replied quietly. "My love for her isn't as strong as it was over the summer when –"

"When?" I said after his sudden pause.

"When you weren't around," he finished. "I'm just worried for her. If I leave her, she'll be… she'll break down. She's not like you – she's not strong like you."

"I'm already broken," I told him. "I'm not strong. I'm broken beyond repair."

I moved away from Lupin and his arms retracted from me as he sadly watch me stand up and grab a towel that was thrown on the floor. I grabbed it and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and preparing a bath for myself. I looked in the mirror, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

It was not unlike the first time we had made love in his own quarters. Only that time, _he_ was the one who was having second thoughts. He had his doubts. And now, this time, I had mine.

I inspected the bruises and love bites on my neck, running my fingers over my jaw, where the stubble on his face rubbed against my skin, causing it to become a little red.

I slowly stepped into the bathtub, lowering myself in the water until it was up to my chin. I felt dirty and even though I knew that a plain bath wouldn't wash _that_ kind of dirt off me, it made me feel a little better.

After an hour or so and late, late into the night, I finally got out of the bathtub and dried myself off, putting on pajamas and crawling into bed again. Lupin's arms automatically sought me out and he pulled me close to his body. I looked at his face and smiled to myself.

I pressed my lips to his, not receiving a response. I brushed my lips down his throat and then I planted kisses on his jaw. When I kissed his lips again, his responded passionately, holding my waist and rolling on top of me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning, Lupin and I went down to the forest to visit the Thestrals. We had brought some raw meat for them to eat and slowly threw it out. I kept glancing at Lupin as he stroked the creatures. I loved being with him. I loved being around him and in his company. I tucked some hair behind my ears and fed a Thestral some meat.

"I'm falling apart," I admitted quietly to him, throwing another piece of meat towards another Thestral. "I really am."

"We all fall apart sometimes," Lupin replied smartly. "It happens to everyone. It happens to the strongest of people.

"It's just funny," I continued. "I watch all the students during classes. They just continue on with their own lives. They're on their way to class, to feasts, to Hogsmeade. I just – I mean – life continues on outside of my own. Life goes on without you."

Lupin looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You've been thinking, hm?"

"All the time."

He looked at me sadly and I frowned.

"Please don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm broken," I breathed. He looked away from me and I sighed loudly. "I'm so sorry, Remus. For everything."

"Why? Don't apologize. You haven't done anything," he replied calmly.

"No, no, I have to apologize." I took in a deep breath. "That's why I always come back to you. I always throw myself at you because I know that when I break into pieces, I know that you're the one person that will help me pick them up."

"Everyone needs someone." He said. "I know you don't like hearing me say this, but you need me. Sometimes it's just not enough to lean on your fifteen year old brother, you know?"

I nodded.

"But it's okay," he continued, throwing his last piece of raw meat out. "I don't mind. Usually, I'm just a shoulder to cry on, but it's nice to be the arms sometimes. And it's not like you haven't a reason to be falling apart. You have, quite possibly, the best reason. You've got a legitimate excuse to be scared and sad."

I looked at Lupin. "You're my best friend."

"I know that."

"You do, do you?" I smirked.

"Of course I do," he replied, touching the Thestral in front of him. It nuzzled his hand. "You're different, Darcy. You've grown up and I don't know if it was because of me or Harry – or even Voldemort, but you're different. You rely more on people, but then you're scared that you're going to hurt them. You try to attach to people and then end up pushing them away. But for me it's different. You're worried that I'm going to get hurt or killed by Voldemort because of you –" he paused and looked at me. "But you have yet to really push me away."

"You sure do know a lot about me."

"I have my sources."

"Sources?" I chuckled. "You mean to say that you go around and ask about me?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what are you trying to say?" I grinned.

"I'm not telling! I'm allowed to have secrets, aren't I?"

"Shut up," I muttered and rolled my eyes.

"You're such a lady," he joked.

"Just tell me, would you? Then I can tell you if they're lying to you or not."

He nodded and then smiled. "I'll put it this way," he laughed. "Hermione is very fond of you and she loves the idea of us together."


	16. Not Alone

**i'm so sorry about not updating - at first, i had writers block and then lost interest and now it's summer and i'm still recovering. so many things are happening.. don't expect quick updates because i'll be very busy over the summer, but i'll try to update as many times as i can.. anyway, enjoy!**

**NOT ALONE.**

The next morning at the dinner feast, I sat down in my usual seat next to Snape and sighed, listening to Dumbledore as he spoke about recent events and O.W.L.'s and the usual. I sipped at my pumpkin juice – as I did every night – and as I finished it, I felt a bit funny. As Dumbledore sat down to let the students eat in peace, I grabbed my stomach and looked at Snape. I opened my mouth and – "Oh, Professor…"

Snape's head snapped quickly to me after hearing my sultry tone and I smirked. He raised an eyebrow and Umbridge was looking at us with her sick, innocent looking smile. "Darcy, sit up straight." He shrugged me back into my seat, but I leaned closer to him.

"Professor Snape," I whispered. "I'm so glad we're together finally."

At that point, several students were pointing and snickering, teachers were staring, and Dumbledore stood up to dismiss the students to their common rooms. He, McGonagall, Snape, Lupin, and Umbridge stood to help me to a back room. I stood up, but held on tightly to Snape's arm and Lupin cast us a threatening glance.

"Professor, you're so _strong_," I purred and he pulled his arm away from me and lifted me up, throwing me over his shoulder. "Oh, _Professor_…"

Everyone was staring at me as they walked out of the Great Hall and Snape carried me into his ingredients room. He set me down in a chair, but I stood up and wrapped my arms around his whole body.

"Don't you love me anymore, Professor?" I whined and Lupin scoffed.

"Sit down," Snape pushed me down into the chair again, but I simply got up and hugged him again.

"_Ahem_," Umbridge cleared her throat and everyone looked at her. "If you've forgotten, Snape, the new decree states that teachers – or in this case, student teachers – may not be dating."

Snape stopped fidgeting with me and I looked up at him. He looked dumbstruck. "You really think Miss Potter is doing this because she wants to date me?" Snape growled. I smiled up at him and buried my face in his black cloak. He squirmed a bit. "Miss Potter hardly likes me as it is."

"She's under the influence of a love potion, Dolores," Dumbledore spoke up and Snape nodded vigorously.

"No, I'm not!" I argued. "I love him!"

Umbridge sneered at me. "Perhaps," she sighed. "But the potion was obviously made for her to love you. Who would give her such a potion?" Everyone stared at Umbridge stupidly. "I suggest that since he broke the rule of the decree –"

"You don't mean to say that Severus fed her that potion?" McGonagall protested, clenching her fists. Snape succeeded in pushing me off him and he told me to sit, but I didn't listen. I held onto his arm again. "You don't mean that, right?"

"Who else would give her a love potion designed for him?" Umbridge questioned.

"I know Severus has had nothing to do with this," Dumbledore interjected again. "And if he could just check her drink, then he could make a simple antidote –"

Snape looked at me awkwardly, hanging off his arm, staring into space. "Er – Darcy, where's your drink?"

"It's all gone."

"You drank it all?" he asked again.

I nodded. "That's what I said."

Snape pushed me off and I followed him over to one side of his room as he pulled a clear potion down from the topmost shelf. He opened the vial, sniffed it, and then handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, holding it up and inspecting it. "Are you trying to poison me? You want to get rid of me?"

"No," Snape said. "Drink it. It's good for you, Darcy."

As I drank it quickly, I began to feel tired and drowsy. I sat down in the chair and fought falling asleep. Umbridge cleared her throat again. "If I see this ever happening again, there will be punishment. Miss Potter," she said, glaring at me. I raised my eyebrows, barely listening. "If this happens again with a professor, I have every right to sent you straight home."

And then I passed out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I groaned and felt the sunlight beating down on my eyelids. I opened my eyes and sat up. I was in the hospital wing. "Ow, oh shit, my head…" I looked to my left and saw Lupin asleep in a chair, his thin legs outstretched and his hands folded across his stomach. "What happened…"

Lupin suddenly awoke and ran his fingers through his hair, smiling weakly at me. "You're awake," he said and I nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I can't even remember why I'm here…"

"Someone gave you a love potion that made you love Snape," Lupin explained and I wanted to laugh at myself. How stupid was I last night? How much of an idiot did I look like when I was going after Snape? "Someone as in… _Umbridge_," he whispered. "She wants you gone. She wants you fired."

"I know that," I replied, closing my eyes again. "My head hurts really bad."

"Snape gave you a potion to knock you out – to sleep it off – and when you passed out, you hit your head on the floor pretty hard. Hopefully you don't have a concussion or anything."

I grinned and Lupin raised an eyebrow. "How much of an idiot did I look like last night?"

"What? Putting your hands all over Snape?" Lupin looked angry. "I wanted to kill the bloody idiot."

I chuckled. "You know I would never do that in my right mind."

"I would hope not."

"Everyone saw, though," I sighed. "So all the students know. The professors know. This is going to be a long fucking week. Everyone's going to make fun of me."

"It's like you said," Lupin replied. "You weren't in your right mind."

"No one cares about that," I snorted. "All they saw was me touching Snape."

"It really wasn't _that_ bad, I guess," Lupin said quietly. "You were just touching his arm and it wasn't like he was inviting it… He tried to push you off. You're stubborn, Darcy, you know that?"

I laughed. "I know."

It was quiet for a second. "Tonks is coming back today," he whispered and he looked away.

"Oh." I licked my lips. "We can still hang out though, can't we?"

"Sure." He smiled. "She sent me an owl last night and said she can't wait to see you. She forgets how much she misses all her friends. You're the only one around her age that's here…"

"I'm aware," Lupin answered. "You'll try to make an effort, won't you? To be friends with her?"

"I can try. It's just awkward. And it'll be even more awkward after doing what we did."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked into the Potions room two days later after missing the feast and before I could say anything to Snape, he handed me that day's _Daily Prophet_. "You still read this shit?" I groaned.

"Language."

"I know! I'm just saying, they write some pretty horrible stuff about – oh my god…" I skimmed the front page article. Ten Death Eaters had escaped from Azkaban. "And they think Sirius did it?"

"Keep your voice down," Snape hissed. "If Umbridge hears you…"

I looked up at him and nodded. "Broderick Bode… where have I – oh, nevermind. This is serious, though! I bet you anything Lucius Malfoy helped out."

"Malfoy? The Dark Lord has risen and is out there and you're blaming this on Lucius Malfoy?"

I frowned and narrowed my eyes at him. "But he was trying to get information out of me at the Ball… he's behind something – if not this, then something, I know it."

"Malfoy is useless, I assure you. He isn't planning anything."

I looked at Snape skeptically and Harry and Ron bust in the door, surprisingly early to their first potions class. "Darcy, Darcy, did you hear?" Harry cried and I shut the _Prophet_, standing up. "Hagrid's on probation!"

"Hagrid – it was Umbridge, wasn't it?" I sighed.

Both Ron and Harry nodded and I turned to Snape with wide eyes, my stomach churning.

"What if she puts me on probation?" I asked quietly and Snape shook his head.

"I don't think that's what she has in mind," Snape admitted and Harry and Ron looked at me as though they could not believe I was talking civilly with Snape. "If she wanted to do that, she would have done it already. But she gave you that potion the other night in hopes of other punishment, though…"

"Is there something she's not allowed to do? Something only Dumbledore can do?"

Snape shrugged and I sat down in a seat, rubbing my temples. At that moment, the pink bat strolled into the classroom, looking around with a disgusted look on her face. She turned to me immediately.

"Ah, Miss Potter, I thought I'd find you here," she smiled innocently. "I'm terribly sorry about the potion the other night."

"Yes, well, it's over now," I replied softly, clenching my teeth.

"It was very strange… very strange…" she glanced up quickly at Snape. "I meant to talk to you about the Ball, actually, Miss Potter. I was not aware you were acquaintances with Mr. Malfoy."

"What? I'm not."

"Well, that's what he told me. He actually mentioned you to the Minister for Magic – trying to get you a Ministry job."

"Well, good for him," I replied. "But I'd much rather stay here and be an intern."

"Would you?"

"Oh, yes. I love it."

"You love grading papers? And basically learning all of this over again?"

"I like making potions and grading papers and relearning this, yes," I retorted coldly. "I think it's quite good fun, actually."

Umbridge was quiet. "How do you know Mr. Malfoy, Miss Potter?"

"I told you, I don't know him. I know his son. I saw him once two years ago in Diagon Alley and I said some nasty things to him and the next time we spoke was at the Ball. I didn't _want_ to speak with him…"

"What did you talk about?" Umbridge inquired.

"My job as an Auror. That kind of stuff."

Umbridge looked down at the clipboard in her hands and scribbled something on it quickly. "Good day to you both."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The worst _Daily Prophet_ article came the next day. Once again, I had missed the feast because I slept in, but as soon as I stepped foot in Snape's class, I asked to see the paper. Snape looked hesitant, but handed it over to me slowly.

I saw my face on the front page; it was from the night of the Ball and I was crying. It was a few moments after talking to Snape that night. My hands shook as I opened to the correct page and began reading outloud to myself.

"_Darcy Potter, 21, is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Sources say she's mentally ill and unstable. Many others say that Dumbledore invited her back to make sure she didn't hurt herself. Is suicide a risk among this fabulous witch? We may not know for sure_…"

I stopped reading and almost immediately, tears rushed down from my eyes. I looked up at Snape, who was looking at me. I wanted to ask, but I was afraid of the answer…

"Do you think – do you think -?" I whispered.

Snape didn't nod or shake his head. He didn't say yes or no and I licked my lips, looking away quickly.

"Now everyone thinks…" I wiped my eyes and took out my wand, levitating the paper and burning it in the air. "But I'm not… I'm not, right?"

"Is the _Prophet_ right?" Snape asked. "Will I – or anyone for that matter – have to worry about you killing yourself?"

"I'm not unstable… I'm not ill… I'm a regular person – I'm okay…" I looked back up at Snape. "I'm not going to kill myself. You believe me, right? I'm not mentally ill – I'm just stressed!"

Snape nodded.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After classes were over, I sulked back to my dorm and it wasn't long before there was knocking. Harry, Hermione and Ron came in and sat down on the couch. I gave them each a cup of tea and sat down on an armchair, breathing heavily and staring into space.

"We read the article about you today," Hermione said, sitting up straighter and clearing her throat. "We're worried for you. I don't normally read the paper anymore, but that scared me."

"It scared me and Ron, too," Harry interrupted and Ron nodded eagerly. "I don't want to have to worry about my sister killing herself. It's scary enough thinking that you could die by Voldemort's hand at any given time."

I kept looking at the blank wall, not making eye contact with any of the kids. "I won't kill myself. I've got to protect you three from trouble. Who'd save your asses every year if I wasn't around?"

"You shouldn't even look at the _Prophet_ anymore," Ron said. "Dad says they're just printing stories that sound interesting so they'll get good reviews."

"And what happens when they find out that Voldemort really is back?" I snapped, looking at Ron quickly. "Then what will they print? They can't just imagine Voldemort's really dead."

"They've been doing a good job of it," Harry added grimly. "We're just worried about you, Darcy."

"I don't need you to be worried about me!" I cried. "I can worry about myself! I don't need you and Hermione and Ron and Dumbledore and Remus and Snape to constantly watch over me like I'm some child! I'm grown up and I can survive by myself, okay? You guys watch me like a hawk to make sure I don't harm myself – I won't! I won't hurt myself because I want to defeat Voldemort! I'm not stupid like you may think I am! I'm not mentally ill and I'm not unstable! I'm just stressed out and frustrated and scared…"

"We're all scared," Harry said quietly and I shook my head.

"You don't know what it's like to be scared! I'm in charge of you and myself and the D.A. who all think they're good enough to fight Voldemort and the Death Eaters! I'm trying not to put anyone else in danger – especially you three – but you won't listen! I can do this by myself and no one will get hurt!"

"You don't think I know?" Harry roared, standing up. "You don't think I'm scared for you and everyone else, too!"

"Not like I am!" I yelled back. "You know that whenever you're in trouble, I'll come running for you and I'll save you like I always fucking do!"

"You don't think I could save you?"

"Honestly, no! I don't think you know shit about what it takes to beat Voldemort! You're fifteen years old, Harry!" I was on my feet, face to face with my brother and our faces were red. "You need to learn to stay put sometimes and quit go looking for trouble! You don't know what you're up against!"

"Neither do you!" Harry screamed. "You think you can kill Voldemort by yourself?"

I was silent.

"You need us, Darcy! You need me, Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, Lupin and Snape! You need us all!" he continued. "You think you can do this by yourself, but you can't! You can't do it! You're not alone in this, Darcy! People are willing to fight _with_ you and _for_ you!"

I fell back into my chair, buried my face in my hands and breathed even heavier. I heard the shuffling movements of the three kids as they moved to the door and showed themselves out.


	17. Always

**First, I received a private message from someone who shall remain anonymous about Darcy being a Mary-Sue. After writing this story, I do not think that Darcy Potter is close to perfect. Her flaws may not be obvious, her flaws may not be in her appearance – I don't imagine her ugly, in fact, I picture her to look just like Lily, so she is pretty. But her flaws are definitely there. She cares about people too much and tends to push them away, trying to protect them. Kind of like Dumbledore. Also, in this story, not so much the last, but she cares a little more about what people think of her. The articles in the **_**Prophet**_** really get to her and that's supposed to relate more to Lupin, who is always afraid of what people will think because of his lycanthropy. ANYWAY – RANT OVER – enjoy!**

**ALWAYS.**

Late that night, I knocked on Dumbledore's door and he yelled for me to come in. I did so and opened my mouth to speak, but realized that Lupin was sitting in a chair across from his desk. I closed my mouth and stepped forward, smiling weakly at both men.

"Hello, Darcy," Dumbledore grinned and he pulled up a chair next to Lupin. I sat down and rested my hands in my lap. "Me and Remus were just having a good chat, weren't we?"

"Oh," was all I could say. "I actually meant to ask you something."

"Ask away. Remus can wait for a moment," Dumbledore sat down at his desk and I gripped the arms of my chairs.

"I wanted to know if I could go back to London for a little bit," I whispered and Lupin looked at me like I was crazy. "Go live with Sirius until I get better. I'm a bit stressed out lately – especially after that article about me came out."

Dumbledore simply smiled.

"Or I would even go back to the Dursleys… anywhere but here, Professor…" I looked around quickly, feeling my heart quicken. "Professor Snape even said it was okay – he could handle a few days without me."

"But, Darcy –" Lupin began.

"Did you know, Darcy, that Professor Snape was the one who came up with the idea of you returning to Hogwarts? I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but I think, in the long run, it was the best idea he's ever had," Dumbledore chuckled. "Do you know why I think that?"

I shook my head and glanced at Lupin.

"Because I know that Voldemort is back," Dumbledore continued and I raised an eyebrow. "And I know that whatever happens because of that, Snape will protect you."

"What about Sirius?" I asked angrily. "He could protect me, too."

"Sirius acts on impulse. If something were to happen to you, he wouldn't worry about consequences… you know what I'm saying, don't you? And you, Remus? He's your best friend. Surely you know that about him?" Dumbledore looked at Lupin and he nodded, looking at me again. Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Professor Snape, on the other hand, would think out his plan –"

"So you're saying that Sirius would die if it meant saving me, but Snape would try to think how to save his skin as well as mine?" I felt angry – angrier than I had been in a long time. "Why are you telling me this? I don't need Snape to protect me! I can protect myself!"

"Did you know _Professor_ Snape told Lucius Malfoy that he was going to hand you over to Voldemort once the time was right?" Dumbledore asked me in the same cheerful and calm voice. "He did that so Mr. Malfoy wouldn't scoop you up and disappear with you that night."

"I could have handled Lucius Malfoy myself!" I protested.

"Darcy," Lupin sighed. "You can't fight them all… you can't do this all by yourself."

I stood up from my chair. "Yes I can! Why do you keep saying I can't?"

"Professor Dumbledore is right. If Sirius would have seen you talking to Malfoy, he would have hexed him and you would have been hurt or injured or something would have gone wrong – it's just the way Sirius works!" Lupin took a breath and looked me over. "You're safer here at Hogwarts."

"Who cares if I'm safer anywhere? I don't want to be here! For once in my life, I don't want to be at Hogwarts!" I cried. "Umbridge doesn't want me here and no one believes that Voldemort's back and everyone stares at me like I'm some mental person because of what they read in the _Prophet_! They all think I'm crazy…"

"I'm sorry, Darcy, but I can't let you leave Hogwarts…" Dumbledore sighed and looked away. "I can't separate you and your brother. It's too dangerous."

I stood up and stormed out, Lupin close on my heels. I ran down the spiral staircase and past the gargoyles and Lupin caught me, pressing me against the wall. Thankfully, I hadn't started crying.

"What's wrong with you?" Lupin asked softly, glancing at my lips.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, okay? I'm just so angry and goddamn depressed!" My voice rang throughout the corridor and the portraits were staring. Even Nearly Headless Nick looked at me before passing. "Let go of me."

"No."

"Remus, let go."

"No, goddammit! Listen to me, alright?" he was yelling and I looked up at him, fear in my eyes. "I came here for _you_! I came here to protect _you_! And all you've been doing is locking yourself in your room and you won't let anyone protect you!"

"I don't want anyone to protect me! No one is going to die for me, understand?"

"No, I don't understand! You can't beat Voldemort on your own! Get that through your head, Darcy!" he shouted and down the dark corridor, I saw a flash of light from the tip of a wand. It was getting closer. "If you loved me, you'd let me help you!"

"I do love you!"

"You obviously don't!"

The palm of my hand collided with his cheek and the slap echoed. His face was turned to his right and he raised a hand to his cheek, closing his eyes. The light from the wand finally lit up our faces.

"Is everything alright?" Snape's voice asked and I looked at Lupin. He let go of me and backed away. I stayed put against the wall, my hand throbbing from hitting his cheek so hard. "Come on, Miss Potter, if Umbridge finds you out this late, she'll have us both fired."

He grabbed my elbow and tugged me away from Lupin, pushing me forward and walking me to my quarters in silence.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"That's it, Neville! You're doing it! You're doing it!"

Neville had successfully levitated a first year in the air, but as he got excited and turned to me, the student fell and I winced. "Sorry…" Neville mumbled and the first year waved it off and returned to his friends. "Darcy, I read that article about you in the paper…"

"You still read it?" I asked with a sneer.

"Well, someone showed it to me. I don't get the _Prophet_ anymore because Gran says it's rubbish."

"It is," I replied calmly. "You shouldn't believe anything in there. Harry and I are telling the truth."

"I know," Neville told me. "I wanted to say I don't think you're mentally ill or unstable. I think you're very stable and know what you're doing. I mean, you've got every right to be scared."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around Neville.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was a knock on my door. "Coming!" I shouted and I jumped off the couch, running to the door. When I opened it, I was surprised. I was expecting Harry, Hermione, and Ron or even Lupin, but Tonks stood before me, a huge grin on her face. "Hi."

"Hi, Darcy," she said cheerfully. "Up for an early morning walk?"

"Uh, sure."

I grabbed my coat and walked out the door, following Tonks down the stairs and to the door. "Have you seen Remus?"

"Not today, no, why?"

"Well, he came back last night while I was sleeping, but when I woke up, his cheek was red and he had a black eye!"

My stomach churned. "Did you ask him about it?"

"He said a Thestral got to him, but I know him. I think he's lying to me."

"He does go visit the Thestrals a lot. I think he may be telling the truth this time."

Tonks hummed in response and then looked at me quickly. "I saw the paper –"

"You're like, the thousandth person to tell me this," I interrupted. "I don't want to hear it anymore."

Tonks frowned and looked towards the ground.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I don't know what's been getting into me lately. I'm just so angry all the time. It's like I can't control it."

"It's okay," Tonks replied happily. "I understand how you feel."

I stopped walking and she stopped a bit ahead of me, turning around and raising her eyebrows. "You understand how I feel? No, no. You don't. You have _no idea_ how I feel so stop fucking pretending."

"I – I – Darcy…"

"Leave me alone, okay? Don't come asking me to go for walks because I don't want to go for walks. I don't even want to be here! I want to go home or go to Sirius – I even asked Dumbledore but he won't even fucking let me leave! So just – I just want to be by myself, okay?"

Tonks gave me a dumbfounded look as I walked quickly back to the castle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't know what was happening to me.

I was an angry child, I always had been, but my anger never got like that before. I could control myself, but at that point, my anger was far beyond my control, nevermind anyone else's. I hated feeling depressed and frustrated all the time with everyone, but no matter what they did, they always made things worse.

I wanted to Floo Sirius, but I knew that Umbridge had all the fireplaces under surveillance, so that wasn't a good idea.

As far as I knew, I had three options.

The first one was wiping my own memory. Forgetting about my family and my past. My mum and dad. Forgetting about Harry and Lupin and all my friends. Forgetting all about my anger and depression and forgetting all that I had accomplished in my life. I would die a nobody by Voldemort's hand; I'd live a nobody, staring over and trying to piece my life back together with nothing to worry about.

There was option B. I could just pack my stuff and leave Hogwarts. I could go back to the Dursleys, where I knew I would be safe, or I could go to Grimmauld Place, where I could confide in Sirius and possibly go chase Voldemort myself. Or, just maybe, I could leave Hogwarts and go by myself, not saying goodbye to any of my professors and forgetting Sirius, the Dursleys, and the Weasleys. I'd be more vulnerable, but there would be no one to die for me. It would just be me and Voldemort and no one between us while I was fighting him.

The third and last option was to simply stay at Hogwarts and accept the fact that people were willing to die and fight for and with me. I loved everyone at Hogwarts. I loved Harry and Hermione and Ron, I loved Fred and George and Ginny, I loved Lupin and as much as I hated to admit it to myself, I loved Snape. I cared about them all just as they cared about me.

I poked at the growing fire in the fireplace and breathed in deeply, rubbing my temples. I got so lost in my thoughts and just barely heard the faint knocking on my door.

I stood up and tucked my hair behind my ears, walking to the door. I thought it would be Lupin; he was the only one who ever knocked this late at night, but when I opened the door, I saw no one. I jumped as Harry swiftly tore off his Invisibility Cloak and looked sadly at me. I let him in silently, poured him a cup of cocoa and sat down on the couch with him.

He took a few sips, not speaking. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly. He put his cup down and sighed. I pulled his body to mine and held him. My hands trembled and I'm sure he noticed. Harry was the one person that could usually calm me down and I loved him more than anything.

"I was just worried about you," he replied. "I had this feeling that you were in trouble, so I came to see you."

"I wasn't in trouble. I was just thinking," I said blankly, running my fingers through his dark hair. It amazed me that he was fifteen-years-old and still let his older sister show affection for him. I had a feeling that it was because I was really the only family he had and he was mine. Of course, we both had Sirius, but we hadn't known him all our lives and we barely saw him. He couldn't give us the comfort and reassurance we needed. "I was thinking about what I should do."

"Siblings are funny like that, hm?" he told me. "We always know when something is wrong with each other."

"I think it's just me," I smiled. "You don't wear your emotions on your sleeve like I do."

"So what are you going to do?" Harry asked softly and I think he was trying to steer the conversation away from my constantly changing emotions. "You said you were thinking about what to do."

"I suppose I've got to stay here," I answered. "At Hogwarts with you. To protect you."

"Protect me?" Harry asked.

"Yes," I said. "If we're going to fight. You're right, Harry. I can't do this all on my own. I need you. I need your help."

Harry breathed in deeply and smiled weakly. "I think you're the one who needs protected." He sighed again. "I'm scared."

"I know you are," I replied. "But I'm here. I'll protect you. I have before, haven't I?"

"Yeah."

We both fell silent and Harry remained in my arms as I stroked his hair. He soon fell asleep, but I couldn't. It broke my heart that Harry was scared. It made me ashamed of being so emotional, helpless, and openly terrified. I had to be strong for Harry now.

Harry and I were in this together – we were the ones who had to defeat Voldemort now that he was back. I knew that I had to sacrifice something and that something was Lupin. The unrequited love that I always had given him. I knew that it would slow me down and it was the cause of some of my anger and depression.

I wanted so badly to let go of my love for him and get over him, but I wasn't sure how difficult it would be. Would it even be difficult? Would it be easy? I wanted to be friends with him – he was my best friend – but I wasn't sure if I could do that without loving him.

But I knew one thing was for sure.

Harry James Potter came before Remus John Lupin. Always.


	18. Remorse

**Hello again! Someone asked for some more Snape, so I threw some more Snape in there for you… Enjoy!**

**REMORSE.**

Potions classes went by fairly quickly the next day and I was a bit more cheerful than I had been in a while. I graded the papers quickly, found a good potion to study for next week's lessons, and didn't get angry at Snape once the entire afternoon.

After classes had ended, I snuck out of the castle and down to the Forbidden Forest to visit the Thestrals. With my bag full of raw meat, I sat down on the ground and sliced it with a simple spell and threw it to one of the skinless horses. I smiled as it tore the meat apart.

It wasn't long until I was interrupted and I jumped to my feet, pointing my wand at whoever was behind me. To my surprise, it was Tonks and I lowered my wand, getting back on the ground and throwing another piece of meat out in front of me. Tonks sat beside me.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot," she said, crossing her legs. "Several times. We can never seem to get it right."

I hummed in response, not really listening to her.

"I'm glad you're here," she said and then Tonks laughed. "Although, if you weren't here, I don't think I'd be here, either."

"Probably."

"I don't hate you so if you think that… I just don't."

"I didn't think you did," I replied. "But thanks for clearing that up."

"Look, Darcy, I just want to be your friend, I really do." Tonks paused. I glanced at her and threw another piece of meat out to the hungry Thestrals. "There aren't many people here that I can be real friends with, you know? We could be friends."

"Yes, we could."

"If this is about Remus –"

"It's not," I interrupted quickly. "Don't think that."

"I get it, though," she continued. "He can be a real dick to you. And me. And everyone. Sometimes he doesn't even realize he's a dick, but he is."

I smiled weakly and threw another piece of meat out. "Sorry," I said quietly. "I've just got a lot on my plate this year."

"He talks about you a lot," she shrugged. "I mean _a lot_."

I breathed in deeply. "I hit him," I told her quickly, turning to face her. I put my bag down and the Thestrals poked at it, stealing the last of the raw meat away from me. "He didn't get attacked by a Thestral – these guys wouldn't hurt anything – but me – I hit him…"

"You hit him?" Tonks asked, but she didn't sound angry. "I knew he was lying."

"We left Dumbledore's office and he pinned me against the wall and asked what was wrong with me," I hesitated. "And I said I didn't know. He just – he just was yelling at me and I hit him."

Tonks was quiet. It was quiet between us for a few minutes while Tonks was thinking about it. "You caused that much damage to his face without magic?"

I laughed. "Yeah."

"He deserved it."

"Yeah, I guess he did."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lupin had come to the next D.A. meeting, as he did every time, and sat in the corner, reading. He glanced up at me every so often and I saw the damage I had done. His left eye was still bruised and his cheek was yellow and blue. Still, I felt guilty, but Tonks was right, he deserved it.

Even though I wanted to get over him, every time I looked at Lupin, my stomach churned and I wanted to talk to him. I forced myself not to.

I walked over to Neville, seeing as he needed the most help, so I wouldn't have an excuse to talk to Lupin.

"You have to – yeah, quick flick," I told him, holding his wand straight. Since no one wanted to be his partner (they were too scared that his spell would go wrong), I had to and I had several bruises already. "It's just like a snap and well – try it – go on."

I stepped a few feet in front of him and then he flicked his wand, shouted, "_Stupefy_!" and I closed my eyes as the blue light met the front of my body and I was sent flying back to the wall, where no pillows had been placed. I held in a scream and stood up, rubbing my back.

"Good job, Neville," I winced and patted his shoulder. "Real good."

"I'm so sorry!" he covered his mouth. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine – that was perfect," I told him and moved on to Harry, who was busy stunning Ron. I stood beside him as Ron flew back into the pillows. "Too easy, hm?"

"A bit, yeah," Harry smiled.

"I was thinking Patronuses next time, don't you think?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Good job, Cho!" She had successfully stunned her partner. "Some people can stun, but some people can't. I didn't think it was that hard."

"It's not," Harry assured me. "I think Patronuses are a good idea."

"Alright, so it's settled." Harry was knocked backwards, but stood up quickly, running to my side again. Ron walked over to me and joined our conversation. "But since Quidditch practices are getting longer and more often, it'll be hard to meet with all of us together." He sounded angry; he had every right to be. He missed Quidditch.

"I know. I'm surprised everyone could meet tonight," I sighed. "So…" I grinned and looked at my brother. Hermione had joined us at that point. "Rumor has it that you're going on a date with Cho Chang."

"A – a date – well, you could hardly call it – it one…" Harry stammered and I swore I saw his face go pink.

"I'm teasing, Harry," I ruffled his hair. "You're probably the only one who's got a date. What are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?"

"You mean you aren't doing something with Lupin?" Hermione asked.

"What?" I glanced over at him in the corner. Our eyes locked, but we quickly looked away. "He's with Tonks, why would we do something together?"

"I don't know, he kept talking about having lunch with you or something and then he just stopped," Hermione shrugged. "You hit him, didn't you?"

I looked at her carefully. "Yeah, I did."

Ron chuckled, looking at Lupin's bruised cheek. "He looks terrible."

"Yeah," I muttered. "I feel a bit bad about that."

"Anyway, I'm going to the Three Broomsticks if you'd like to join me?" Hermione suggested. I nodded.

"Yeah, okay."

"I've got Quidditch practice!" Ron whined and I saw Harry's eyes narrow in anger. I put my hand on his shoulder. "That's not fair! I won't be able to do anything on Valentine's Day!"

"Quit your complaining and keep stunning." I checked a clock hanging on the wall. "We've only got fifteen minutes anyway."

Fifteen minutes passed and as usual, I waited until all the students had left. I began to clean up the pillows, putting them back in place. I heard someone clear their throat and I jumped. I turned around to see Lupin standing by the doorway, which had now sealed. He stepped forward, getting closer to me and I froze, staring at his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"What – this?" he gently touched his cheek and winced. "I have to admit… I'm a bit scared of you now."

I looked into his eyes and sighed. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Be with you. Love you," I replied quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because I have my brother to think about!" I protested. "I've got to think about my brother's safety and my own safety and Hermione's and Ron's and everyone else's! There are more important things in the world right now than loving you!"

"Ouch," he laughed nervously and looked away. "That hurt."

"This isn't the time to joke around!" I pushed him. "I'm serious! Just stay with Tonks and I'll be off saving the world from Voldemort!"

"I think you don't know what you're talking about, Darcy," he smiled. "I think you're still too young to understand."

"Understand what, exactly?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Everything. Love! Love, Darcy!" he told me. "Love is _everything_! You want to protect Harry because you _love_ him! You do it because you love everyone! Why can't you love me?"

"Because you don't love me back!" I said, pushing him again. "You never will love me back no matter what you say and I'm tired of being hurt and broken! I don't want to be this person anymore! I want to be the Darcy Potter I was before I met you!"

"I do love –"

"You don't! I'm just fooling myself! I believe it when you tell me, but I know it's all a _lie_!" I yelled. "I'm tired of being hurt by you! I don't love you, okay? I don't love you! I don't want to be with you anymore so you can stay with Tonks and you won't have to feel guilty anymore and –"

"Shut up!" he shouted. "You're rambling."

I fell silent and blinked a few times. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Wait a minute!" he said, grabbing my hand and stopping me. "You don't just say you're going to stop loving someone and then automatically stop loving someone. It takes time to get over someone you love. It takes time to actually love them and –"

"I can't do this anymore. You've got Tonks and I – I have Harry, Remus."

"But Harry can't give you the things I can –"

"What do you give me that Harry can't? _Sex_? I don't need that right now! I need love and compassion and someone who won't ever lie to me and Harry – Harry loves me and cares for me and he doesn't lie to me! He gives me the things you _can't_ give me! Don't you see?"

Lupin stared at me sadly.

"I – I need time to sort out my mind. I'm sorry." I brushed past him and out of the Room of Requirement.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I knocked on the wooden door in front of me. Snape told me to come in and I entered his classroom, my arms wrapped around me. I was incredibly nervous, but I knew that he was the one person who would understand out of all people.

"I was wondering if I could ask you something," I told him, doing my best to clear my mind so he couldn't read it. Although, he was looking down at his desk, his nose in a book, so I didn't try that hard. "It's personal – but not – please don't get mad at me."

At that, he lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. One eyebrow shot up and I was having a hard time speaking and clearing my mind.

"And don't use Legilimency on me, please," I begged. I looked away from him, avoiding eye contact. "I wanted to ask you about the memory you let me see. The one you let me see on the night of the Ball…"

Snape was quiet. He looked back down and I looked back up, my heart pounding.

"Do you – do you…" I hesitated, licking my lips. My voice got softer. "Do you still love my mother?"

Snape's eyes met mine and I didn't clear my mind. I had already asked him and I knew he was probably just as terrified as I was.

I slowly backed towards the door, reaching behind me for the doorknob. "I'm sorry," I said quickly. "I didn't mean – I'll um –" I backed up even more, but ended up kicking over some empty vials. I swore under my breath and knelt down to pick them up and mend them back.

"This is about Lupin," Snape said bluntly.

I felt my cheeks go red. "Well…" When I looked up, Snape was staring at me with an expression I had never seen before. It wasn't love or adoration or anger… it was more… _remorse_.

Seeing remorse on Snape's face was what I had been looking for. It proved several things.

First, Snape would always love my mum.

Second, he regretted something. He regretted her death? He regretted calling her a 'Mudblood'? He regretted not telling her he loved her?

And third, Severus Snape had feelings and it broke my heart to see him hurt.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After telling Lupin I didn't want to be with him or love him anymore, I couldn't stop seeing him. Everywhere I went, he was there and we were even on hall duty together. I figured that nothing could stop us from being friends, so I tried. I tried very hard.

"What are you doing this weekend?" he asked me.

"Probably lesson plans," I sighed. "It's hard work being a teacher. You made it seem easy."

Lupin grinned. "Most difficult thing I had ever done in my life," he replied. "Does Snape let you teach lessons now?"

"He lets me plan them," I said. "But I usually plan what potions they're going to brew that day. Snape will teach them all about the background of said potion, and I'll go around checking to make sure they've done it right." I looked at Lupin and he was laughing at me. "What?"

"I just don't see how you can stand spending so much time with him. He's – well, he's –"

"Not that bad," I answered softly. "I mean, I don't like him, but I don't dislike him."

"I think your dad would have hexed Snape before sending you off to be his assistant intern or whatever you are."

"And what would my mum have done?" I crossed my arms and looked at him as we walked down the corridor. I smirked, but he shrugged. "She would have convinced my father otherwise."

"Are you kidding?" Lupin snorted. "After Snape called your mother a you-know-what, she made fun of him, too!"

I stayed quiet.

"I can't believe you're actually defending him after what he did to you and Harry and me and your dad and Sirius…"

"What exactly did he do to you?" I snapped.

"Nothing. He was just annoying."

"_You're_ annoying," I muttered.

"What was that?" he joked, smiling wide. "_I'm_ annoying?"

"Yes, you are!" I replied, pushing him away. He started poking me and hitting me playfully and I couldn't help but smiled a little. "You're very annoying! Quit it!"

"No! I'm not annoying!" he laughed and I grabbed his wrists and pinned him against the wall, staring at him, hardly serious.

"You _are_ annoying."


	19. The Astronomy Tower

**Okay, this is pretty much all Lupin! I had to make up for the past chapters with barely any Lupin them and doing this, I can skip forward in the timeline where nothing really happened. Don't worry, the action is coming soon and after this story, there'll be a THIRD story! Who's excited? No one… ? Well, enjoy this chapter! The next one will come soon, I promise!**

**THE ASTRONOMY TOWER.**

"_Oh my god_," I moaned, taking another bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "This is _amazing_. I can't remember the last time I've eaten one."

"Give me a bite," Lupin demanded.

"No!" I replied with a smile, stuffing the last of it in my mouth. He wrapped his arm around my neck, ruffling my hair. "Stop! Stop!" I laughed. "God, you're such a jerk sometimes!" I flattened my hair and cleared my throat.

"Am not," he said.

"I didn't know that Remus Lupin could be childish," I teased and he rolled his eyes.

"One of us has to be the mature one."

Being friends with Lupin wasn't as hard as I thought, but I still struggled. I didn't want to blow him off all the time because he was my best friend, but the truth was, I was scared to be around him. I was scared he was going to make me fall harder for him, which was happening anyway. I couldn't help loving Lupin, but I wouldn't let him know that. I didn't want him to know that I loved him – it'd boost his ego and I didn't like the cocky Remus Lupin.

As I licked my fingers, my eyes widened and I slipped my arm through the crook of his own arm, looking up at him.

"Don't forget," I reminded him sternly. "Next week is the next D.A. meeting and we're doing Patronuses."

"Patronuses? Don't you think that's a little advanced?"

I shrugged. "All you need is a happy thought and concentration."

"And power. Patronuses are very advanced magic. Not everyone is going to be able to get it on the first try like _some people_," he glanced at me and I smirked. "Harry did particularly well with it, too, but your parents were also gifted with incredible magical abilities."

We walked into the Three Broomsticks and picked a table in the back. He pulled out a chair for me and pushed me in, ordering two butterbeers. "Does Tonks know you're with me?"

Lupin nodded. "You guys are friends. That's what she told me."

I nodded slowly. "We don't talk all that much. She just happened to show up in the forest while I was feeding the Thestrals."

"You still go down to see them?" he asked excitedly.

"I visit them a lot, actually. I like them. I think they're rather interesting."

"Mm." Lupin smiled at me and I shook my head, smiling back.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked and he shrugged. I looked down at the table. Initials were carved into the table and I traced them with my finger.

"When was the last time you rode your broomstick?" he said and we both laughed quietly. "It's been in the same damn spot since the first time I helped you. Right by your fireplace."

"In case I need to sweep with it… I guess Hogwarts doesn't provide the professors with brooms."

Lupin chuckled. "Sweeping? Are you a witch or what?"

I blushed. "I've lived with Muggles my whole life," I added. "I've got an excuse to forget about my magic for a moment or two."

"You always use magic, though," he replied. "You never do things the Muggle way. You're just making things up now."

"Anyway, on a more serious note," I said as our drinks were placed in front of us by the bartender. I thanked him and then turned back to Lupin, putting on my 'serious' face. "You absolutely have to be at the next meeting –" I lowered my voice. "Or else I'll kill you, for real."

"Why do I absolutely _have_ to be there?"

"Because you taught me how to perform the Patronus Charm," I shrugged as if it was obvious. I suppose it was. "It's only appropriate. Plus, you can tell me if I'm doing it wrong. Teaching them, that is."

"You've been doing it right all year, why would Patronuses make it any different?"

"You just have to be there to help me, okay?" I told him, my voice quieter. I looked away and traced the lip of my glass with my pointer finger. "I don't have that many happy memories to choose from."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I looked up at Lupin, frustrated, and my hand hovered over my last knight.

"Nope."

My king.

"Wouldn't work."

My last pawn.

"Face it," he chuckled. "No matter what you do, you're screwed."

I ordered my knight to attack his pawn. His queen killed my knight. "I hate wizard's chess," I sighed. "I'm no good at it."

"That's because you just learned how to play!" Lupin protested, calling 'check mate' for the fourth time in a row. "This is what I did in my school years."

"_This_ is what you did for fun?" I laughed and then pushed the board and broken pieces to the side. "C'mon, let's play Exploding Snap."

"Exploding Snap? And what exactly is that? I don't even know how to play!" he said and I brought out my new deck of cards. I put them on the table in between us. The Great Hall was mostly deserted and I looked around quickly, making sure Umbridge wasn't watching. She was most likely in her office, interrogating more students.

"Umbridge will probably take these if she sees us playing," I told him. "But lucky for me, Ron has his own deck and when I play with him, we use his cards. He's the only one who'll play with me and I'm the only one who'll play this with him. Okay, get out your wand."

Lupin looked at me and removed his wand from his pocket, a confused look on his face. The cards began to shuffle and I explained it to him quickly.

"When you see two of the same cards, you hit the card with the tip of your wand and you get a point."

"That simple?"

I smirked. "That simple."

As they shuffled, I hesitated, wanting him to get the first point and be surprised. As he found the first match, he tapped it gently with his wand, looking a bit bored, but as soon as he tapped the card, it exploded and the _bang!_ echoed throughout the Great Hall. All the students who were studying quieted and looked at us. I was laughing.

Lupin's eyes were wide and he was blinking, as if he couldn't believe what just happened.

"Why didn't you tell me that was going to happen?" he asked.

"I don't know," I cackled. "A bit more exciting than wizard's chess, hm?"

He shook his head and grinned. "One point for me, then?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So I was thinking that the fifth years would take on a Confusing and Befuddlement Draught… Oh, what are the ingredients…" I stared at Lupin for a second before furiously writing on my parchment again. "That's right – sneezewort, scurvy-grass, and lovage…"

"What exactly is sneezewort?" Lupin asked.

I was sitting at Snape's desk and he was sitting at a student's. He was leaning back in his chair, his hands in his lap and his feet up on the desk. "It's a kind of yarrow… it causes sneezing. It's the most efficacious in the inflaming of the brain, and is therefore much used in Confusing and Befuddlement Draughts, where the wizard is desirous of producing hot-headedness and recklessness."

"That sounds like you got it straight out of a textbook," Lupin replied quietly. "How do you even know all this stuff?"

I scrunched my nose and looked up. "I like potions. Don't make fun of me."

"I wasn't making fun of you. But how could you learn anything with Snape as your teacher?"

"We've been over this, Remus. You're beating a dead horse," I replied, sighing loudly. "I like potions so I always paid attention. And Snape isn't a horrible teacher. If people listened to him, they'd pass their N.E.W.T.'s and O.W.L.'s with flying colors."

"Let's go visit the Thestrals," he suggested.

"Remus, I put off these lesson plans so I could spend time with you," I sighed. "I _have_ to get these done or Snape will kill me. We can go visit the Thestrals after. I'm almost done."

"You're so grown up, you know."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really now…"

"Yeah."

"I had to grow up," I answered, finishing up my notes. "Someone has to be Harry's mother figure."

"And what about Molly? She's just like his mother."

"She has no idea what Harry knows. He keeps secrets from his friends – we all do. The only person who knows everything about Harry is me and Harry. And that's how it's always going to be."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm going a little higher!" I called. I was only about eight feet up in the air, but it felt like I was even with the clouds. Lupin gave me the thumbs up from the ground and I soared about a foot higher, my broomstick shaky and my hands trembling. "I really hate flying!"

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to!" he shouted.

"Just promise you'll catch me when I fall!"

"_If_ you fall, Darcy!"

I glared at him and in the process, wasn't watching where I was going. I toppled over and fell from my broom. Lupin held out his arms, but I was too high and gained too much momentum. I knocked him to the ground and landed on top of him. My broomstick landed on top of me. I groaned.

"Keep your eyes ahead of you," he grinned, sitting up and brushing himself off.

"Sorry about that. I told you I'd fall."

"If you hadn't given me that look –"

"What look?" I pouted.

"The look you give me when you're annoyed," he raised his eyebrows. "You glare at me – like you're staring into my soul."

"I'm annoyed right now."

"By me?"

"Yes," I joked. "I'm always annoyed by you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sing to me," Lupin said blankly. There was a record playing in the background of my quarters and we were both drinking wine. I told him it made me feel sophisticated and he laughed, pouring us both a glass.

"Oh god, no," I snorted. "I can't sing to save my life."

"Well, your speaking voice is nice, so your singing one must be," he shrugged.

"I'll sing if you sing with me." He laughed and agreed to my compromise and we began to sing a Celestina Warbeck song. Our voices were off-key, flat and sharp and everywhere, but we ended up in hysterics, making fun of each other's voices. "I told you I was a horrible singer."

"I thought you were a beautiful singer."

I looked at him and he had a straight face, but I smiled. "Shut up," I laughed and he cracked. Lupin was chuckling. "Don't make fun of me. I'm never singing for anyone again."

"Yeah, I think it'd be best if you kept that pretty little mouth shut."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lupin and I spread a blanket on the Astronomy Tower one night and laid down, staring at the sky.

"Oh, here, Sirius used to always point this one out to us." Lupin pointed up towards a group of stars and I followed him finger as he spoke. "The constellation is Canis Major – it's a dog. And you see that really bright one – the brightest?"

"Mhm."

"Right above the two? Right, well, that star is called Sirius," Lupin looked at me and smiled. "I think Canis Major is one of Orion's hunting dogs, but I don't know for sure."

"I can find Gemini," I said, scanning the sky. "Oh, right there! Do you see it? Next to those four bright stars and then up a little – that's the head – or the arm – oh, I don't know."

"You tried," Lupin sighed contently, staring back up at the stars.

I turned my head and looked at him. "You are my best friend."

He kept looking up. "I know."

I licked my lips. "Am I your best friend?"

"Mhm."

I rolled on my side and propped myself up on my elbow, smiling at him. "What's my favorite color?"

"Red and gold. Gryffindor colors. That was a trick because you like two colors," he answered right away.

"What's my favorite food?"

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Grape jelly."

"When's my birthday?"

"September 10th."

"Good, good," I replied with a smirk. "You know all the essentials."

"You like green tea and hate black tea. You won't drink coffee, but you'll drink hot chocolate. You don't like cold butterbeer, you'd rather it be warm, but you'd drink it either way. Your favorite subject was potions; your least favorite was Divination. The lowest grade you've gotten was in Herbology – you got a D on your essay. You find Quidditch boring unless Harry is playing and you hate the Malfoys more than anyone in the world besides maybe Professor Trelawney." He smiled. "Should I continue?"

"I'm a bit scared, honestly," I teased.

"I don't stalk you," he replied with a smirk. "I simply listen when you talk."

"Wow," I breathed. "I didn't think anyone ever listened to me."

"People listen, Darcy."

"Do you want to know how I first knew I was a witch? Well, I didn't at the time, but do you want to know the first time I did magic?"

"Sure."

"One time, when my Aunt Marge was visiting, her bulldog – which was twice the size of me at the time – chased me outside and I ran up a tree, hiding until they went home. I couldn't get down because it was too high and I was too scared, but no one would help me, so I figured I'd just jump. When I did jump, it was like my body slowed down and when I landed, I landed so softly that I knew something was different about me."

Lupin was quiet; he looked at me and smiled.

"Hagrid came the day I turned eleven to bring me to Diagon Alley. He came back for Harry when he turned eleven, too."

Lupin was still smiling, but I licked my lips and looked around quickly.

"Do you want to know something else about the first time Harry found out he was different?"

He nodded. "Okay."

I looked around nervously again and leaned in closer to his face. "Harry and I…" I paused. "We speak Parseltongue. We're Parselmouths."

"Can you speak it right now?" he asked and I laid back down on my back.

"No," I said. "I don't know how. Whenever I see a snake though, I just – it just happens. I don't know how I speak Parseltongue, but I can. You believe me, don't you?"

Lupin didn't do anything.

"It's true. Ask Harry. We opened the Chamber of Secrets the year before you came here. To get in, you had to speak in Parseltongue. And we talked to a snake at the zoo when we were younger… I'm not lying to you."

"It's just that – Voldemort is a Parseltongue… Salazar Slytherin…"

"I know," I replied. "I know."


	20. Caught

**CAUGHT.**

I walked out into the courtyard to see most of the students circled around someone. I tried to push past everyone and when I did, I succeeded in finding Snape. He was standing in front of Harry, Hermione, Ron, Lupin, and Tonks. In the middle of the circle was Umbridge and Professor Trelawney.

Snape glanced at me at his side and I narrowed my eyes, my forehead creasing as I tried to figure out what was going on. Trelawney was standing in front of her luggage, Umbridge smiling innocently at her.

"What's going on?" I asked, but no one answered me.

"Sixteen years I've lived and taught here…" Trelawney whimpered. "Hogwarts is my home…"

Even though I didn't like Professor Trelawney, I felt horrible for her. Hogwarts was my home, too and if I was every fired or banished from Hogwarts… "Do something!" I hissed, tugging on Snape's sleeve. "You have to do something! Please!"

He didn't answer me. I went to go step out into the middle of the circle, but Snape grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

The Divination teacher cried. "You can't do this…"

"Actually," Umbridge replied, rather cheerful. "I can." I was pushed to the side as Professor McGonagall ran past me and up to Trelawney, hugging her tightly and rubbing her back. McGonagall shot a nasty glance at Umbridge. "Something you'd like to say?"

"Oh, there are _several_ things I'd like to say," McGonagall spat and she opened her mouth to say more, but the double doors to the castle opened, causing everyone whispered to go quiet and stiff. Dumbledore walked up to Umbridge and looked over her shoulder to McGonagall and Trelawney.

"Professor McGonagall," he said calmly. "May I ask you to escort Sybil back inside?"

McGonagall nodded with a small smile and helped the frail Trelawney past Umbridge and Dumbledore and back into the castle. Umbridge and Dumbledore stared at each other, both of them daring each other to speak. "Dumbledore," Umbridge retorted. "May I remind you that under the terms of Educational Decree number 23 as enacted by the Minister –"

"You have the right to dismiss my teachers," Dumbledore finished. "You do not, however, have the right to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the Headmaster."

She smiled. "For now."

Dumbledore, for the first time, looked as if he had finally realized that everyone was watching. He turned in a circle, facing all the students. "Don't you all have studying to do?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I poked my head into the new Divination room. I had been wondering who the new professor was because I had seen Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil eagerly talking about the 'handsome new professor'. What I saw surprised me. The room was decorated like a forest and the ceiling had been enchanted to look like a night sky.

I took a step into the room and looked around. "Darcy Potter?"

I jumped and looked up. "Firenze?" I put my hands on my hips and smiled weakly. The centaur showed himself from the back of the room, his blonde hair falling to his shoulders and his face bruised and cut. "You're the new Divination teacher? I didn't know – what happened to you?"

He laughed nervously. "It was my herd, actually," he admitted. "They didn't want me working for humans. They consider it degrading, you see."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "But – but this room looks fantastic! Especially the ceiling! I remember not really learning about the stars so much in Divination with Trelawney. I think she's just a fraud."

Firenze smiled.

"I think you'll be a much better teacher than her," I told him, looking up at the ceiling again.

"You'll have to stop in for a lesson one day," he suggested and I nodded.

"Yeah, that'd be great." I checked the clock that was hanging above the door. "Oh, well, I've got to go. I guess I'll be seeing lots of you! Good luck."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked into the Room of Requirement to set up for the next D.A. lesson, but found Neville standing in there, staring at the photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix that was hanging on the mirror. A picture of Cedric Diggory was beside it.

"Neville?" I asked, walking up to him. "Are you okay?"

He was quiet for a minute and I put my hand on his shoulder, looking at my parents in the picture, smiling up at me. "Fourteen years ago," he said quietly. "A Death Eater named Bellatrix Lestrange used a Cruciatus Curse on my parents. She tortured them for information, but they never gave in. I'm quite proud to be their son." He hesitated. "But I'm not sure I'm ready for everyone to know just yet."

I nodded, looking at the young Frank and Alice Longbottom on the photo. "You should be proud, Neville. Not many people would do that. A lot of people would have just given in."

Neville nodded slowly.

"I'm sure they'll be proud when they see what you've been doing."

Neville turned to me. "Thanks."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That night was a full moon. Lupin, because he didn't want to transform in front of Tonks, continued transforming in the Shrieking Shack, still drinking Wolfsbane the week before, which Snape was still making. I was bored that night and in a spur of the moment decision, I grabbed a small blanket off my bed and grabbed my wand, running outside onto the grounds.

When I reached the Whomping Willow, I cried, "_Immobulus_!" and it stopped moving immediately. As I crawled through the small hole in the bottom of the tree, I realized that I must have grown a few inches and gained a few pounds because it was smaller than I remembered. Regardless, I climbed the stairs and lifted myself into the shack, my heart pounding in my throat.

I heard whimpering and peeked into a room, where I saw Lupin, already transformed, lying down on the ground, almost asleep. His new clothes for morning were folded in the corner of the room and I looked around. It was the same room I had been in when I first met Sirius Black. When I knocked Snape out and Scabbers was exposed for who he really was. I sat in the corner of the room where I had stood in front of Harry, trying to protect the three of them from the convicted murdered across the room from us.

Lupin saw me and growled, but he didn't do anything. He looked away from me and I sat up against the wall, wrapped the blanket around me and fell asleep.

It wasn't until I heard painful screaming that I woke up. The sun was just then rising and through the one window in the room, the sunlight was brightening up the dusty room. Light was peeking in through the cracks in the walls and I saw Lupin on the ground, pulling his hair in agony. His body turned from skinny and bony to a little built, his teeth shrank, the hair disappeared, his feet returned to normal and he fell back down on his stomach, groaning and completely naked.

He quickly changed and stood up, raising his eyebrows and looking angry. "What do you think you're doing here?" he asked.

"I came to see you," I replied.

Lupin shook his head. "What if I hadn't taken my potion?" he said, walking over to me and kneeling in front of me. "What if I had hurt you? Darcy, we've been over this enough times now that you should know the consequences!"

"I had to make sure you were alright," I simply shrugged and he sighed.

"Thank you," he whispered and he looked away.

"You don't have to thank me," I replied. "I know you know this, but I hate seeing you hurt and in so much pain."

"It's nice to know someone cares," he smiled weakly.

"Stop that," I told him sternly. "Tonks cares about you and you know it. I care about you, Harry does, and so does everyone else so stop thinking that right now."

"Let me rephrase that, then," he thought for a moment. "No one cares about me like you do."

"I'm sure plenty of people do."

"No one else would come out here on a cold, March morning to see if I was okay. No one in their right mind would come out and spend a night with a werewolf just to make sure I woke up in the morning."

I smiled a small smile. "I'm not in my right mind," I chuckled sadly. "That's the thing. You've been reading the _Prophet_, haven't you?"

"Go back to the castle. I'll be there in a minute."

"I'm staying here until you go back, too," I protested. "Do you love Tonks?"

"Well, I – I guess I do."

"Do you love me?"

Lupin was silent as he stared at me. It was a yes or no question – either he loved me or he didn't. Or he didn't want to answer me. Instead, he licked his lips. "You're beautiful, even when you're freezing, you know that?"

I blushed.

"And you're extremely beautiful when you blush."

"I wasn't blushing!" I lied.

"I saw you!" he laughed and we looked at each other. "You know, it was in this very room that I realized how much I truly cared about you. The way you were scared. Your eyes had fear in them – I felt obligated to protect you. I felt that you were mine. And the way you tried to be brave, and even though you had feelings for me, you still threatened me…"

I looked at the ground and he kept staring at me.

"I was jealous of Malfoy. Even though he wasn't dancing with you because he liked you, I was still jealous."

"Would you have saved me?" I asked him.

"Saved you from what?"

"If Malfoy had taken me that night," I said. "Would have come and rescued me?"

"You know I would have."

I smiled. "I love you," I told him softly and then I looked away. "I love you."

Lupin leaned in and kissed me and I felt no guilt when I kissed him back. Even though Tonks was my friend, I didn't care. I know it was selfish of me, but I had been spending most of my year being self_less_. Caring about other people too much. Lupin was what I wanted and I was going to have him, even if it was for only a day.

I could tell he was tired and weak, but he kept kissing me, eventually undoing the button on my jeans. I laid back on the blanket I had brought as he lifted my shirt over my head.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You've got to have a really happy memory! The happier it is, the more powerful!" I circled around the room, happier than I had been in months. "George, excellent! But don't worry if you can't get it on the first try! A full-bodied Patronus is the most difficult to produce! Hermione, great, really great!"

"_Expecto Patronum_!" Harry's stag leaped from his wand tip and I saw Lupin's eyes follow it around the room. An otter soared around Hermione's head and a beautiful horse protruded from Ginny's wand.

"Come on, Neville, you can do it! Think of a happy memory!" I stood beside him and as he tried yet again, he failed.

"I'm trying," he sighed.

"No, you're doing great, keep it up!" I walked over to Luna. "Stay focused, Luna, you can do it. Everyone, you're doing great!"

Everyone was distracted suddenly by a small _bang_ that shook the heavy chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Dust fell from the shelves and I looked around. Everyone was silent and no Patronuses were to be seen. All the students began to look to the blank wall and another _bang_ shook the room again.

Harry and I looked at each other and stepped up to the wall, examining it. Suddenly, a hole was blasted in the wall and I jumped backwards, holding onto Harry's arm. On the other side of the whole – my heart sank. "I'll make short work of this," Umbridge snapped. "_Bombarda Maxima_."

I jumped backwards and a giant hole was left in the wall.

"Get them."

I looked at Harry. "Shit."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"SNAPE!" Umbridge screeched. She dragged me into his classroom, grabbing my arm tightly, her nails digging into my skin. "SNAPE! You give me one good reason why I shouldn't send Potter home _tonight_!"

Snape stood up from his desk and began walking towards us. Umbridge met him in the middle and we stood there, about three feet away from each other. His eyes flicked to mine and then back to Umbridge. "What did she do?"

"Teaching the students to defend themselves against the Dark Arts!" she yelled. "Teaching them how to protect themselves against _You-Know-Who_! I taught your brother was happens when he tells lies –"

"She's simply teaching them what they need to know for the real world," Snape protested.

"Snape, Cornelius is already on his way here to Hogwarts and so are the Aurors," she threatened. "_Why should I not send her home?_"

"She's an excellent intern, Dolores," Snape answered. "And she is safe here – she cannot be separated from her brother."

"_Safe_," Umbridge repeated icily. "Safe from what exactly? You-Know-Who, I expect?"

Snape did not answer. "If I remember correctly, you do not have the power to banish _anyone_ from the school grounds and you cannot fire Miss Potter because she's not on a salary."

Umbridge's face was purple with rage and her nails were making my arm bleed. "I have a feeling Dumbledore won't be here much longer, Snape. And when he's gone… oh… when he's gone…"

I swallowed loudly. "If you would be so kind to leave my intern here with me, I'll be glad to talk to her about the wrongness of her actions."

"Leave her with _you_," Umbridge sneered. "No, no, no! I've got to bring her up to Dumbledore! Show her to Fudge! She was doing exactly what Fudge _knew_ she was going to do!"

"And what was that?"

"Raise a wizard army! They were going to fight against the Ministry!"

"The – the Ministry?" Snape was refraining from using sarcasm. "That is the _last_ thing Darcy would do. I assure you, Dolores, I've know her a bit better than you do."

"Angry!" Umbridge replied. "She's angry that they won't let her be an Auror and so she'll just fight them all until she can take over! Isn't that right, Potter?"

"I – I – no! I don't! I don't want to be an Auror! I want to be a potions master –"

Umbridge glared at me and I tried to tear away from her, but she held me too tightly with her grubby hands. "Come on, Potter, Fudge will be here soon."


	21. Anger

**Yep, lots of Snape in this one, guys. ANYWAY, OMG DID YOU ALL SEE THE NEW DH TRAILER? I had to stop it halfway through and restart it because I couldn't see through all my tears. And I'm not lying/exaggeration. I seriously can't wait! If you didn't see it, you have to right now. Stop reading this and go watch it. Only 27 more days, guys. 27.**

**ANGER.**

Umbridge forced me into Dumbledore's office, where Fudge, Kingsley, and another Auror, Dawlish, were waiting. Harry was already in there and I stood beside him. From behind everyone, Kingsley gave me and wink and a slight nod.

"Been watching them for weeks!" Umbridge stamped and I looked up at Dumbledore, who stood calmly before everyone, a cheery smile on his face and his hands behind his back. Umbridge held up the paper – the paper with everyone's names on it. "And you see? 'Dumbledore's Army'. Proof of what I've been telling you right from the beginning, Cornelius."

"And who – who was teaching them?" Fudge asked, a confused expression plastered upon his face. He quickly looked at me.

"Miss Potter!"

Fudge stared at me and stepped closer. He narrowed his eyes at me and then quickly turned back to face Umbridge. She spoke again, pointing furiously at Dumbledore. "All your fear-mongering about You-Know-Who never fooled us for a minute! We saw your lies for what they were: a smokescreen bid to seize control of the Ministry." All the while, the four were inching closer to Dumbledore.

"Naturally," he smiled.

"No! Wait!" I shouted. "He had nothing to do with it! It was all my idea!"

"Most noble of you, Darcy, to shield me, but as it has been pointed out," Dumbledore motioned to the piece of paper in Umbridge's hand. "The parchment clearly says 'Dumbledore's Army', not 'Potter's'."

I shook my head and licked my lips. Why would he do that? It was okay if I was sent home – but Dumbledore couldn't leave!

"I instructed Darcy to form this organization," Dumbledore continued and I shook my head furiously. "And I, and I alone, am responsible for its activities."

Fudge sighed and shook his head. "Dispatch an owl to the _Daily Prophet_. If we hurry, we should still make the morning edition. Dawlish, Shacklebolt, you will escort Dumbledore to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy and sedition."

"Wait –" I tried to speak, but Dumbledore talked over me as if I hadn't said anything.

"I thought we might hit this little snag," Dumbledore grinned, backing up a bit. "You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I'm going to – what was the phrase? – _come quietly_. Well, I can tell you this," he paused and smiled, winking at me and Harry. "I have no intention of going to Azkaban."

"Enough of this!" Umbridge yelled. "Take him!"

And all of a sudden, within seconds, Fawkes flew above Dumbledore and he clapped his hands over his head. Flames engulfed him and he was gone.

Kingsley, who had fallen to the ground, looked around and sighed. "Well, you may not like him, Minister," he said. "But you can't deny, Dumbledore's got style."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"This was _your_ idea!" I kicked Snape's door open and he froze, looking up from his cauldron. "This was _your_ goddamn idea and now Dumbledore's gone!"

Snape returned to his potion and I pulled out my wand, pointing it at him, storming up to his desk.

"Don't you see what's happened? That's the last time I'll ever listen to _you_!" I screamed, but Snape did not flinch. "Don't you hear me, Snape? Dumbledore's _gone_! What the hell do you expect me to do without him, hm?"

He still didn't look at me.

I clenched my wand so tightly I thought I was going to break it. My heart was racing in my chest and I began to shake. Suddenly, vials of potions began to shatter all around me. Snape still continued to stir his potion. "Goddammit!" I held my wand up to his chest. "Look at me while I'm talking you!"

I hurled a hex at him, but in one quick motion, he moved his arm and the hex bounced off a small shield charm and hit me instead. I went flying backwards into a glass cabinet and felt the shards of glass cut my skin through my shirt and I had scraped my cheek on a broken piece of glass. I got back up and breathed in deeply, shaking the dust and potions ingredients off my shirt.

"How _dare_ you, you piece –" Another hex, but it backfired, hitting one wall full of vials. They all shattered and fell to the floor. "Of –" My next hex shattered even more vials. "_Shit_!" The last hex shattered the last wall and I was breathing heavily. I looked around the room. You couldn't walk without stepping on broken glass, but Snape did not seem annoyed or even the slightest bit mad.

He added some a bezoar to his potion and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

I lowered my voice and steadied my breathing. "Look at me."

His eyes scanned my face, looking at the cuts all of my arms and when his eyes met mine, I felt accomplished. My chest rose quickly and heavily and I put my wand back in my pocket. I was standing on the other side of his desk and I didn't know what to say to him. Everything I had wanted to say had clearly been expressed through my temper tantrum.

"What am I going to do?"

He simply stared at me.

I felt rage again, my anger building up inside me and I licked my lips. "You wanted this to happen, didn't you? You wanted Dumbledore out of the picture? You wanted me and Harry to be vulnerable so that your goddamn master could come and kill us without having to face the one wizard he fears most! You _lied_, didn't you? You aren't trying to protect me or us or anyone but yourself, isn't that right?"

Snape shook his head.

"You lied to everyone! You lied to my mum about being a Death Eater, you lied to Dumbledore about being on our side, and you lied to me and who knows who else you've lied to!" I screamed. I don't know why I was saying it and at the time, I didn't really know what I was saying. "Are you happy now?"

"I haven't lied to you," Snape said. "Or Dumbledore. I haven't, really. Now, I can fix those cuts for you if you'd like –"

He put his want to my face, but I jumped back. "Get away from me." With glass crunching under my feet, I backed up and then ran out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

That night, when everyone was in bed, I got up, grabbed the Marauders Map out of my suitcase, and went down to the potions room. I entered, knowing Snape had to be fast asleep in his own quarters and knowing that I'd be alone. I flicked my wand and lit all the candles and noticed that all the glass had been cleaned up, the vials fixed and organized nicely back on their shelves. A cauldron was slowly brewing and bubbling on the desk.

I quietly sat down at Snape's desk and opened up the map. I was looking throughout the floors when I saw two dots headed right for the room. _Dolores Umbridge_ and _Argus Filch_. I grabbed my wand, flicked it and all the candles went out. "_Mischief managed._" Only the small moon gave the room light and I ducked down behind the desk as the door opened.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stop my breathing from giving out my hiding spot. The candles suddenly lit up and I assumed Umbridge had done it. I licked my lips and bit my bottom lip.

"I thought for sure she'd be in here," Umbridge growled.

"Probably sulking now that Dumbledore's gone," Filch replied.

"Yes, well, hopefully she's up in her quarters packing for home," Umbridge said. "That way I won't have to force her to do it."

And then suddenly, a third voice entered the conversation. It was the deep voice of Snape and I held my breath. "Hello," he drawled.

"Oh, Snape," Umbridge sounded surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I've got to check my potion," he said calmly. "It should be done by now. It's been bubbling for six hours now."

"Yes, very well," she sighed. "Have you seen Miss Potter?"

"I have not. But it's three o'clock in the morning and I expect she's in bed."

There were grumbles coming from Umbridge and Filch and then I heard their footsteps leave. Still afraid they'd see me, I stayed put and when Snape walked over to his desk, he nearly tripped over me. "What the –" he muttered, stepping on my foot and then catching himself before falling.

"Watch it!" I hissed, rubbing my foot. "I haven't got shoes on! Ouch…"

"What are you doing, exactly?" he asked me with a cocked eyebrow. I stood up and breathed in.

"Hiding from Umbridge and Filch," I answered quite matter-of-factly. I held up the map in my hands. "I think I'll be going now –"

"I meant," he paused and I stopped, my back to him. "What are you doing _here _at three o'clock in the morning?"

"I was – I couldn't sleep," I replied, turning around to face Snape. "It's none of your business what I do. I wanted to see if this room was cleaned up or not and I couldn't get out before Umbridge and Filch came."

He didn't say anything.

"Goodnight."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Educational Decree number 28 made Dolores Jane Umbridge Headmistress of Hogwarts, which pleased no one but Filch. I'm sure even the Slytherins weren't happy about it.

When she saw me on the way to the breakfast feast, she smiled sweetly at me. "Morning, Miss Potter," she said. "Have you read the paper yet?"

I felt my stomach churn. "No, I haven't."

She raised her eyebrows and continued into the Great Hall. I licked my lips and sat down in my usual spot next to Snape. Placed before me, like every day, was the _Daily Prophet_. On the front page was a picture of Umbridge and I opened the paper to see my name written in big letters on the third page.

'_DARCY POTTER LEADS ARMY AGAINST MINISTRY!'_

I read it silently to myself. '_Darcy Potter was caught yesterday by Dolores Umbridge, teaching students magic not allowed to be taught in school. Secretly, Albus Dumbledore instructed her to gather up some students and form an army – Dumbledore's Army – to revolt against the Ministry_ –"

I threw the paper down and looked down the table at Lupin, who was looking sadly at me. I stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, Lupin following me closely. Tears filled my eyes and I turned around to face him.

"Make it stop," I whimpered and he touched my shoulders.

"I can't."

"I'm not evil," I continued. "I'm portrayed as this evil, Ministry hating woman, but I'm not. I'm just a girl trying to survive…"

Lupin put his arm around me and held me close to his body. "Nothing wrong with a good cry…" he reassured me.

"I want to leave," I told him. "I want to go home where I won't get these stupid articles anymore. I'll be safe at home. I won't have any contact with the magical world and that's how I want it to be."

"You can't go home, Darcy," Lupin whispered. "You've got to stay here. Don't listen to those articles! Don't you listen to them! You know who you truly are – why are you believing what they say about you?"

"I don't know who I truly am!" I cried. "I'm scared and angry all the time – I cry and I'm depressed and I know that's not me! That's not who I want to be! I want to be happy again!"

"Listen to me," he said and he lifted my chin with his index finger. "This will all be over soon. Once it is, you'll be happy again. You won't have to worry about anyone getting hurt or fighting or dying. You won't have to be sad or scared. It'll all be over soon…"

I couldn't believe it. I knew that it wouldn't be over soon. I had a feeling that he knew it, too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"It's our fault," Hermione said from behind me. I jumped and turned around, seeing Hermione, Harry, and Ron together. I was standing on the bridge, trying to calm down. I didn't want to feel angry. "We're the ones who talked you into it… we set it all up…"

"But I agreed," I replied. "Don't worry about it." I turned back around and sighed. "At least I'm still here. She hasn't sent me packing yet."

They were all silent and I turned around again, looking at all three of them.

"Did I help? Did I help at all? It feels like I made everything worse."

"You did help, Darcy. You did the best you could," Ron shrugged.

"But it wasn't enough!" I shouted. "I tried, but it wasn't enough."

"Darcy, you were brilliant," Harry told me. "You were brave to do that. You taught us so much – much more than any other teacher could have taught us. And when You-Know-Who attacks, we'll be better prepared."

I looked down and sighed. "Remus says it'll be over soon," I said. "But it won't be. There's a war coming. People are going to die for us, Harry, and so many people – I don't want that to happen… It's just got to be us and him, you know?"

Hermione shook her head. "It's all of us. We're all in this together. I thought you knew that."

"I don't want people dying for me," I whispered. "I don't feel like I'm worth dying for."

All three of them were silent. "Darcy," Ron sighed and smiled weakly at me. "You're honestly one of the greatest people I've ever met. How could you even say that?"

I shrugged. "You guys don't believe what they say in the papers, do you?"

"Of course not! And neither does anyone else!" Hermione answered quickly. "They know the real you! The papers isn't convincing anyone that knows you. Ron's right – you're wonderful."

"And one of the bravest people I've ever known," Harry told me. "We wouldn't be where we are without you, you know."

I licked my lips.

"Come on," Ron raised his eyebrows. "What would I have done without all your help with my potions homework and essays?"

"And you did help me produce a full-bodied Patronus," Hermione added.

"Don't you see?" Harry said, smiling at me. "You can't let the Ministry bring you down. They'll see – they'll see that Voldemort is really back and they'll all be sorry and begging you to forgive them. It's only a matter of time until they realize it."

"Hopefully," I said. "It will be soon."

"_Psst_!"

We all jumped. Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Hagrid?"


	22. The Prophecy

**As for Darcy licking her lips, I noticed that my best friend licks her lips whenever she's nervous and whenever Darcy's nervous, I make her lick her lips. NBD. Also, as this story slowly but surely comes to a close, I'll be writing the next story, taking place during the half-blood prince. **

**LUCIUS MALFOY AND THE PROPHECY.**

Hagrid motioned for us to follow him and the four of us nodded, walking closely behind him down towards the Forbidden Forest. "Hagrid, why can't you just tell us what's going on?" I asked.

He wouldn't answer, but we had to stop and let the centaurs run past so we wouldn't get trampled. "I've never seen the centaurs so riled," Harry noted.

"And they're dangerous at the best of times. The Ministry restricts their territory much more," Hagrid told us. "They'll have a full uprising on their hands."

I watched the last centaur gallop away and we continued walking.

"I'm sorry to be so mysterious, you four," Hagrid sighed. "I wouldn't be bothering you at all with it, but with Dumbledore gone, I'll likely be getting the sack any day now. And I just couldn't leave without telling someone about him!" We traveled a bit further into the forest. "Grawpy! Grawpy, get down here, you great buffoon! I brought you some company!"

A huge, bald giant turned around and looked down at us all, a small smile on his face. My eyes widened, I let out a small scream, and I jumped backwards.

"I couldn't just leave him here," Hagrid explained. "Because… because he's my brother – well, my half-brother."

"Your _brother_?" I panted, still recovering from the shock of seeing a giant in the forest.

"What?" Ron exclaimed.

"He's completely harmless, just like I said. Little high spirited is all."

All of a sudden, Grawpy reached down and Harry, Ron, and I moved out of the way, but Hermione was too slow. She stayed put and Grawpy grabbed her, holding her up close to his face. Hermione screamed and then stopped, crossing her arms.

"Grawpy!" Hagrid scolded him. "That is not polite!"

"Hagrid, do something!" Harry yelled.

"We talked about this," Hagrid said in a low voice. "You do not grab people."

"Grawpy," Hermione said in a stern voice, pointing a finger at him. "Put me down. _Now_."

Grawpy frowned and did as she said, lowering her gently back to the ground. She brushed herself off and Ron walked up beside her. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

"Fine," she replied with a nod. "Just needs a firm hand is all."

"Just stay away from her, alright?" Ron shouted and Grawpy almost looked sad.

Hagrid sighed again and looked up at Grawpy. "He gets his own food and everything. It's company he'll be needing while I'm gone. You'll look after him, won't you? I'm the only family he's got."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There was a Slytherin Quidditch match the next day and as usual, Lucius Malfoy had come to Hogwarts to watch his son play. I had avoided him the whole day, even taking different routes to the potions room, the bathroom, my quarters, and the Great Hall.

I had hall duty that night by myself and as I reached the first floor, someone called out my name. "Miss Potter."

I closed my eyes and turned around. Lucius Malfoy was standing before me, wearing an elegant traveling cloak that made me hope he was leaving soon. With his cane in one hand, he stuck his other hand in his pocket. "Hello, Mr. Malfoy."

"I see what they've been writing in the papers about you." He smirked and even though he was trying sound sincere, I knew there was something more to this. Either he was still trying to get information out of me, or he was glad about what the _Prophet_ had been portraying me as. He clicked his tongue. "Such a shame that Hogwarts is no longer a good place for you. No longer a home."

I was quiet. We stared at each other.

He held up his index finger and smiled. "I may have a proposition for you that you might enjoy."

"I'm not telling you anything –"

"You don't have to," he replied. "You see, I've heard about your… episodes… I've heard that you're depressed and angry all the time. Is that true?"

"Who told you that –"

"Nevermind who told me, Miss Potter," he continued. Lucius gently put his hand on the back of my neck and slowly guided me towards the large, double, oak doors that led to the castle grounds. "But is it true?"

"I – I suppose."

"Now, listen to me," he said very quietly. "Don't you want to feel… protected? Don't you want to be safe? You won't have to worry about depression, anger, the _Prophet_, or Lupin. You'll be powerful – your talent won't be put to waste."

My heart beat faster and I breathed in deeply. I knew that it was stupid of me to be considering any offer from Lucius Malfoy, but my head was clouded by fear and anger and depression that I couldn't even think straight. All those things he had promised – they sounded so good to me.

"If you come with me," Lucius whispered. "All of that could happen."

"He – He'd kill me," I breathed.

Lucius shook his head slowly. "Not you, Miss Potter. We could use your talent," he said to me with a small smile. "He would spare you if you came with me now."

"But – but – I –"

Had I been in my right mind and not distracted by so many things, I would have hexed him right there, but I wasn't in my right mind. Lucius stepped in front of me and raised his eyebrows. "You will be safe. Isn't that all you want?"

"No – no –"

"People will need you and rely on you," he said again. "You'll be powerful. The Ministry wouldn't write all those nasty things about you. Isn't that what you want, Miss Potter?"

"Yes, but I – I –"

I stared up into his blue eyes and the corner of his mouth turned upwards. I breathed heavily, blinking a few times and trying to think it over, but I couldn't think… "There won't be a reason for you to be depressed. You won't have to be angry anymore."

"I – I don't – Harry –"

Lucius held out his hand. "Come on, Miss Potter. You can come with me and you'll be fine."

"Harry –"

"He's at Hogwarts. What safer place is there than at Hogwarts?"

I nodded. My brain hurt. I couldn't think straight and I couldn't look away from his eyes. But I looked down at his hand and slowly reached out to take it – "Darcy? Darcy!"

I turned around to see Lupin running up to us. Lucius had put his hand back in his pocket, a frown on his face, one eyebrow raised.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lupin asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from Lucius. I looked Lupin and shook my head, stuttering, trying to find words, but I couldn't. I didn't know what I was doing.

"We were just having a little chat, weren't we, Miss Potter?" Lucius nodded at me and I nodded as well. "No harm in that, is there?"

"You stay away from her," Lupin said. "Get out."

Lucius looked at me a final time. "You think it over, Miss Potter. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."

He left Hogwarts, the giant doors shutting behind him and I turned to Lupin. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" he yelled and I blinked a few times, a throbbing sensation in my temples.

"My head hurts," I complained and Lupin nodded.

"It should!" he replied. "You kept eye contact with him most of the time, didn't you?" I nodded. "He was in your mind, Darcy; trying to cloud your judgment so you'd think what he was saying was _reasonable_! He was essentially trying to control your mind!"

"Was he?" I asked innocently, sitting down on the bottom step of the grand staircase.

"What did he tell you?"

"I don't – I don't remember, exactly… I don't honestly know," I answered honestly. "But I think I almost handed myself over to Voldemort."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I was slowly walking myself back to my quarters, trying to remember what exactly had just happened, I heard loud, quick footsteps and I turned around, crashing into Harry. He was sweaty and panting, but he stood up, helping me to my feet.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking him over. My eyes caught sight of his left hand which I could tell had been recently bleeding.

"Sn – Snape," he panted and I raised my eyebrows. "Occlumency and he wasn't – he wasn't there and the Pensieve was open and – and I went in – and I saw – I saw his memory – dad, Lupin, Pettigrew, Sirius –"

"You saw it?" I breathed. "You saw it, too? They hung him up?"

"Ye – yeah, when did you – see – it?" He was starting to catch his breath.

"The night of the Ball," I replied. "But he let me see it – what happened after you saw it?"

"He pulled me o – out of the Pensieve and told me that my lessons we – were at an end."

I breathed in deeply and held my breath for a few seconds before letting it out loudly. "Harry, I just talked with Lucius Malfoy."

"You _what_?"

"Lupin said that he was invading my mind," I replied, a bit scared. "He told me that Lucius was trying to control it."

"For what?"

"I think – I think he was trying to convince me to come with him and switch sides," I said. "That I'd be safer and more powerful and it would be a waste of talent to kill me… I almost handed myself over!"

Harry was silent and my hands trembled. I shoved them deep into my jeans pockets, trying to stop them from shaking, but it did no use. "I'm scared," Harry told me.

"I know you are."

"I can't be brave. I can't."

I stopped and looked at my brother. "Harry, just because you're scared doesn't mean you can't be brave."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I can't… I can't have anyone else fight with me," I said flatly, turning to face Lupin, who was seated on my couch, drinking tea. "I think it's got to be me, you know? I just – I just know."

"But Darcy, you don't understand –"

"I do understand. Do you know how many people have already died because of me? Because we left Pettigrew go that one year. If we had just killed him, then none of this would have happened. Don't you see?"

"Yes, I know, but the prophecy says –" He cut himself off immediately and I narrowed my eyes. He looked away as if he hadn't said anything and he sipped his tea, which was gone.

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything."

I whipped my wand out and pointed it at his face, lowering my voice. "Remus Lupin, you tell me what this prophecy is."

"Put your wand away, Darcy –"

"Tell me what you were talking about!" I yelled and he touched my hand, lowering my wand.

"The prophecy…" he repeated and he looked into the fire, grinding his teeth, thinking. "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…_" He hesitated and I let it sink in. "I believe that's it."

"But –"

"And you are a 'she', not a 'he'. And you were born in the beginning of September, which is the ninth month…" Lupin continued.

"Harry," I breathed. "Harry… Does that mean… Harry is the one who can defeat the Dark Lord… Harry's got to die?"

Lupin was silent.

"Why didn't you tell us?" I stood up and raised my voice. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"Because we –"

"Why couldn't you just let us know everything this summer at Grimmauld Place?" I breathed heavily, clenching my fists. "This is the 'weapon' that Voldemort is after, isn't it? That's why all these people are breaking into the Ministry, right? They're Imperiused, under the Death Eaters and Voldemort! I mean, Voldemort can't just go waltzing into the Ministry, right?"

Lupin raised his eyebrows and sighed. He looked a bit guilty.

"I've – I've got to tell Harry… I have to let him know… Harry – oh, Harry!"

"Darcy, you can't – come back, please!" He reached for my hand and grabbed it, stopping me in my tracks. "If you think you're going to go off and find out what the prophecy really is –"

"We've got to!" I replied. "It's the only way to save it from Voldemort getting it!"

"Voldemort will come straight to you to get it and he'll kill you, Darcy! He'll _kill_ you!" Lupin said sadly. "He'll kill you just like he did your parents."

"You want this to end, don't you?" I asked and he nodded slowly. "Getting this prophecy and keeping it away from Voldemort – it's one step closer to beating him."

"Then let me go."

I shook my head. "You have to stay here, okay? I can handle it. How many times have I gotten myself into and out of sticky situations? You just have to trust me."

"Trust you? _Trust_ you? Darcy, how can I trust you? You're willingly going to put yourself in serious danger!"

"Yes, yes, trust me, Remus!" I protested. "You have to. That's what best friends do. You have to trust me on this one."

He thought it over for a second. "And you promise that you'll come back to me?"

I nodded.

"I'll wait here for you."

"What about Tonks?" I said and he breathed in.

"I love you, Darcy." And he kissed me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I began sprinting down the moving staircases towards the Great Hall; I wanted to be able to catch Harry after his exam. As I reached the Great Hall, with its double doors wide open, I gasped. Two red headed boys on their broomsticks soared around the Hall, throwing fireworks everywhere. Papers were scattered and as Fred and George headed towards outside, they saw me and shouted my name, waving eagerly.

"Fred! George!" I screamed, following them outside. Everyone followed and I looked around for Harry. I saw a tall boy with red hair and then a shorter girl with bushy hair… I pushed through the students and found Harry lying on the ground. I knelt down to him and he spluttered.

"Sirius."


	23. The Ministry of Magic

**THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC.**

I trailed after Harry with Hermione and Ron. Harry was aimlessly, or so I thought, running through the halls up the stairs and turning corridors. "Are you sure, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"I saw it!" Harry snapped. "It's just like with Mr. Weasley. It's the door I've been dreaming about. I couldn't remember where I'd seen it before!"

"Harry –" I began, but he ignored me.

"Sirius said Voldemort was after something, didn't he, Darcy?" Harry glanced at me quickly. "Something he didn't have last time, in the Department of Mysteries."

"Harry, listen!" I yelled. "I know what he's after! He's after a prophecy! A prophecy about you!"

"What are you…" Harry trailed off and stared at me.

"Harry," Hermione said again. "What if Voldemort meant for you to see that? What if he's only hurting Sirius to try to get to you?"

"And what if he is?" Harry asked and I suddenly became angry with Hermione.

"We're supposed to let him die? Our only family?" I hissed and Hermione jumped back a little at my nasty retort.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Ron asked and all four of us stopped at the top of the third staircase. I looked at Harry and bit my lip.

"The Floo network," I said suddenly, walking towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The three followed me.

"We can't," Harry replied immediately. "Umbridge has the chimneys under surveillance."

I opened the door to Umbridge's classroom and then ran up to her office. "Not all of them," I took out my wand, pointing it at the door. "_Alohomora_."

Umbridge wasn't in her office and we all ran in. I knelt down before the fire, grabbing for some Floo Powder. "Shouldn't we alert the Order? Shouldn't we go get Lupin? Mad-Eye? Tonks?" Hermione said and I hesitated.

"Yeah, you three go do that –"

"Are you mental, Darcy?" Ron interrupted. "We're going with you."

"It's too dangerous!" I shouted and Harry pulled me away from the fire. I dropped the Floo Powder all over the floor.

"When are you going to get this through your head?" he told me and I looked up at him, shaking my head slowly. "It's always been this way. It's got to be all of us. We're in this together."

"That you are!"

Umbridge shot cords from her wand and they wrapped themselves around me. I thumped to the ground and she ran over, her Inquisitorial Squad behind her, Neville, Ginny, and Luna being dragging in with them. Umbridge picked me up by the cords and threw me into the chair, three other members of Umbridge's squad disarming Harry, Hermione, and Ron and holding them tightly to keep from moving.

"I knew you were up to something," Umbridge snapped, getting close to my face. Her wand was pointed at my throat and I swallowed loudly. "You were going to Dumbledore, weren't you?"

"No, I –"

Her palm connected with my cheek and I cried out in surprise. "_Lies_!"

"Honestly –"

"I'll call up the Aurors! You've been plotting against the Ministry – just as Dumbledore had!" she yelled. "I'll have you sent to Azkaban! You're a criminal, Potter, a _criminal_! You _will_ pay for this!"

"You sent for me, Headmistress?"

I looked up to the doorway and smiled a smile of relief as I saw Snape standing there. He was staring at me, but when Umbridge spoke, he looked at her instead. "Snape, yes," she smiled sweetly, a cold edge to her voice. "The time has come for answers, whether she wants to give them or not. Have you brought the Veritaserum?"

"I'm afraid you used up all my stores interrogating students, the last of it on Miss Chang. Unless you wish to poison her," Snape looked at me again. "And I assure you, I would have the greatest sympathy if you did – I cannot help you."

Snape turned to leave, but I couldn't let him. He was my last hope… the one person who'd understand me and try to help – "He's got Padfoot!" I shouted and Snape turned around again, eyebrows raised to face me. "He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!"

"What is she talking about, Snape?" Umbridge demanded and I stared at him. Hopefully he could read my mind – he'd know what I was talking about, what I was going to do.

_Please, please, please…_ "No idea," he replied and he swept out of the room. My heart sank.

"Very well," Umbridge said, turning back to face me. "You leave me no choice, Potter. As this is an issue of Ministry security, you leave me with no alternative. The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your tongue." She held out her wand again, pointing it at my chest. My heart raced, pounding against my ribcage.

"That's illegal!" Hermione protested.

"What Cornelius doesn't know won't hurt him," Umbridge said quietly.

"Darcy, tell her!" Harry shouted. "Just tell her, Darcy!"

"Tell me what?" Umbridge asked, looking up at Harry. Hermione and Harry looked at each other while I stayed silent. I wouldn't let Umbridge know anything.

"Well, if you won't tell her," Hermione sighed. "I will."

Umbridge raised her eyebrow.

"Dumbledore's secret weapon."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Umbridge, Hermione and I walked deeper into the Forbidden Forest. I walked in front of Umbridge, my hands tied behind my back, her wand digging into my back. Hermione led the way. "How much further?" Umbridge asked, stepping over a giant tree root and shaking a spider web off her shoulder.

"Not far," Hermione replied. "It had to be somewhere where students wouldn't find it accidentally."

"What are you doing?" I breathed in Hermione's ear as Umbridge jumped away from some bugs on the ground.

"Improvising," she whispered back. "Don't want to see you in Azkaban…"

We stopped at the tree where Grawpy was supposed to be tied, but the rope that was originally around his waist was cut, broken, and frayed and Grawpy was gone. Hermione and I stared at it, eyes wide. "Where is this weapon?" Umbridge asked her, digging her wand deeper in my back. "There isn't one, is there? You were trying to trick me! You know… I really hate children."

I was going to say something, but the sound of hooves against ground made me turn. Umbridge stood up straight, looking towards the sound. The centaurs, armed with bows and arrows, all pointed their weapons towards Umbridge. She used me and Hermione as a shield.

"You have no business here, centaurs! This is a Ministry matter! Lower your weapons," she said. "I warn you, under the law, as creatures of near human intelligence," she raised her wand over Hermione's head and the centaurs fired their arrows. With Umbridge behind me, I flinched, but she flicked her wand, making a shield appear right before my eyes. The arrows stopped and dropped in front of me. "How _dare_ you? Filthy half breeds! _Incarcerous_!"

Ropes, similar to the ones she used against me, shot out of the tip of her wand and wrapped around the head centaur, choking him. Hermione ran towards him, trying to untie the ropes. "Stop it! Please!" Hermione begged. I looked at Umbridge, prepared to kick her, but I kept myself calm. I didn't want another reason to be locked up in Azkaban.

The centaurs suddenly charged and I jumped out of the way. Hermione ran back towards me, backing away from Umbridge slowly. Suddenly, out of the trees, Grawpy stepped forward, picking Umbridge up by her pink cardigan. She began to panic as the centaurs gathered underneath her. She was dropped and carried away, screaming.

I looked at Hermione. "Come on – Sirius!"

We were only halfway across the giant bridge back to the castle when Hermione and I saw Luna, Neville, Ron, Ginny, and Harry running towards us, carrying all their wands, plus ours.

"How'd you get away?" I asked as Harry cut the ropes on my hands and handed me my wand.

"Puking Pastilles," Ginny grinned.

Ron smiled proudly. "Told them I wanted some sweets – I was hungry. They told me to bugger off and ate the lot themselves."

"That was clever, Ron," Hermione said and Ron shrugged.

"Nevermind that!" Harry interrupted, waving his hand impatiently at Ron. "How are we supposed to get to London by tonight?"

"You guys can't come!" I shouted and everyone's smiled faded and they were silent. "You guys are great and I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I have to do this by myself and I'll be back."

"You can't go alone," Neville said suddenly. "You're the one who taught us how to defend ourselves. This is about something real – Dumbledore's Army."

"Besides, you're walking into the Ministry as a Potter?" Ron crossed his arms, defiant. "They'd arrest you on the spot. Umbridge probably already told Fudge to send you to Azkaban right away."

I sighed, defeated. "Follow me."

I didn't realize that several people could not see the Thestrals, but they worked just the same. I gave the Thestrals directions to the Ministry of Magic and as they took off with us on their backs, I glanced back at Hogwarts to see the light on in my quarters still.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The seven of us crammed into the lift and it brought us to the Department of Mysteries. We exited and Harry nodded towards the door at the end of the long hall. We all hesitated and then began to run, led by me. I didn't know what was going to happen when I opened the door – all I knew was what the prophecy said and that Sirius was being tortured.

As I opened the door, rows and rows of small, crystal balls sat in a dark room. We lit our wands. We could only walk two at a time down the rows because they were so narrow. As Harry went to look for Sirius, I followed him slowly, looking for the prophecy.

"Ninety two… ninety three… four… five…" Harry breathed ahead of me. Neville was beside me, looking at the crystal balls too. Harry stopped and I stepped on the back of his shoes, tripping. There was nothing in front of him. "He should be here!"

I turned to look at the prophecies and gasped. Everyone turned towards me. "This is it," I said, mostly to myself. "This is the prophecy… And it has your name on it, Harry… Remus was right."

"Darcy," Harry hissed and I turned to where his lit wand was pointing, pointing down the hallway to a Death Eater walking calmly and slowly towards us. I pushed him backwards and left me in front of them all, my wand out and ready to hex.

"Where's Sirius?" I demanded.

With a flick of his wand, the mask disappeared off the Death Eater's face and I recognized the face at once. The drawling voice of Lucius Malfoy rang in my ears as he smirked, "Darcy, Darcy, Darcy… I knew I'd see you again." He glanced down at the prophecy in my hand. "You should really learn to tell the difference between dreams and reality."

As he stepped closer to me, I jumped back and flinched.

"Now hand me the prophecy."

I spoke in the calmest voice I could. "If you do anything to us, I'll break it."

"She knows how to play!" cried a female voice. It was getting closer and closer… "Itty bitty baby… Potter."

"Bellatrix Lestrange," Neville breathed and I glanced at him over my shoulder, gripping the prophecy tighter in my hand.

"Neville Longbottom, is it?" Bellatrix grinned. "How's mum and dad?"

"Better," Neville spat. "Now that they're about to be avenged!" He held out his wand and Bellatrix grabbed her's too.

Lucius raised his eyebrows and looked at me again. "Now let's everybody just calm down," he said. "Shall we? All we want is that prophecy."

Before I could speak, Death Eaters had appeared around us all and began walking towards us. My bottom lip trembled. I held my wand tightly, pointed it at Lucius, and screamed, "_Stupefy_!" All the others seemed to catch my hint and cast their spells at the other Death Eaters.

Harry, already beside me, began to run with me and we all split up, taking different paths, trying to find a way out. He was falling behind and I grabbed his hand, making sure he kept up and we wouldn't separate. He cast spells left and right, making sure no one hit me – and the prophecy.

"_Impedimenta_!" cried Lucius and it hit me from behind. I tripped, bringing Harry down with me, the Prophecy rolling out of my hand as I hit the ground.

He got nearer and I let go of Harry, pointed my wand at him and shouted, "_Petrificus Totalus_!" Lucius blocked it with a shield charm, but it gave me and Harry some time. Harry picked up the Prophecy and pulled me up to my feet, running again.

A thin bolt of light came from behind me as I turned and it grazed my cheek. I screamed, but Harry tugged my hand, urging me to keep running.

We turned another corner and I cried out – we had all met up in the middle of the room. As the Death Eaters closed in on us, I pushed everyone together, trying to protect them. Ginny held out her wand, "_Reducto_!" A giant bright light forced all the Death Eaters back and smashed the prophecies – they fell all around us and I looked around quickly.

"To the door!" I shouted over all the smashing.

We all filed through the door straight ahead of us all and I felt myself hurling down towards the ground, the Prophecy still in my brother's hand tightly. I closed my eyes, but right before hitting the ground, I stopped in midair and fell slowly, not hurting myself. I groaned and stood up.

I looked around the room and the only thing that caught my attention was the archway in the middle of it all. I wiped the blood from my face and stepped closer to the arch. Luna and Harry followed me. I heard voices. "The voices," I said quietly. "You hear them?"

"There aren't any voices," Hermione replied, but I shook my head.

"I can hear them too," Luna said dreamily and we stepped closer again.

"Guys, it's just an empty archway!" Hermione pleaded. "Please, let's go!"

I looked up. "Everyone get behind me, now!"

Death Eaters swarmed us; I couldn't see anyone or what was happening, but I felt someone hand hit my jaw and I cried out. When it became clear again, I was being held by Lucius, his hair tangled in my hair, his wand touching my temple. Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny and Luna were being held around the outside of the room, against the walls by other Death Eaters. My whole body shook, I was scared to death. The only person not being threatened was Harry, who stood before me and Lucius, still holding the Prophecy.

My heart was beating in my throat as Lucius spoke, not to me this time, but to Harry. "Did you actually believe," he began. "Or were you truly naïve enough to think that children stood a chance against us? I'll make this simple for you, Potter. Give me the Prophecy now or watch your friends die." He pressed his wand deeper in my temple, tugging on my hair. I whimpered, staring Harry in the eyes.

"Don't give it to him, Harry," I said quietly and Lucius gave my hair another tug. I looked around, noticing my wand lying only feet from me.

Harry held out the Prophecy and Lucius smirked, throwing me to the side. I landed face down on the ground and pushed myself up, blood dripping from my mouth. I wiped it with the back of my hand and turned around, reaching for my wand. Before I could cast any hex, my eyes widened.

Sirius was standing behind Lucius Malfoy and as Lucius turned around, Sirius spoke: "Get away from my godson." And with a single punch, Lucius fell to the ground and the Prophecy broke.


	24. Bravery

**Hi again! This story is almost over… then another one and then one more and then that's it. I'd say about two more chapters of this until the last one. Anyway, enjoy!**

**BRAVERY.**

All of a sudden, the Order appeared out of nowhere – Lupin, Tonks, Mad-Eye, and Kingsley. They all drew their wands, saving my friends from the Death Eaters. The place became a madhouse. Flashes of lights were flying everywhere and Sirius grabbed my arm and pulled me behind a rock, where we were safe for the moment. Harry was off with Hermione and Ron, dueling two Death Eaters.

"Now listen to me," Sirius said, gripping my shoulders tightly. "Take the others and get out of here."

"What?" I shook my head. "I'm staying with you!"

"You've done beautifully," he smiled. "Darcy, let me take it from here."

I hesitated. "Sirius, I –"

I ducked as a red jet of light soared over my head and I looked to see Lucius Malfoy with his wand pointed at me. I stood up as another Death Eater joined Lucius and cast a spell at Sirius. I flicked my wand, sending a red flash at Lucius, but he dodged it, sending one right back at me. There was another white, hot flash and it hit my other cheek, cutting it and I wanted to scream.

Sirius knocked the other Death Eater back into a rock and he crumpled to the ground. I looked at Lucius again. "_Expelliarmus_!" I shouted, his wand flying back behind him.

"Nice one, Darcy!" Sirius shouted with a smile. I turned away as Lucius was blasted back, trying to find Lupin, but through all the madness, I couldn't spot him. I turned back to Sirius just in time to hear, "_Avada Kedavra_!" and a blast of green light hit Sirius square in the chest.

I felt as if everyone had slowed down – even stop. I expected everything around me to freeze. Nothing else mattered at that moment. I watched Sirius stumble backwards towards the archway and I reached out to try and grab him at the last moment, hopefully saving his life at the last second. He smiled weakly at me and I shook my head, telling myself he wasn't dead. He was still smiling. He wasn't dead – _he wasn't dead_.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed and I tried to reach for him again, but it was too late. "NO! NO! SIRIUS!" I tried to follow him into the veil that he had just fallen through, but arms wrapped tightly around me and I heard Lupin whispering my name into my ear, trying to tell me to calm down, but I couldn't. "NO, NO! GET HIM! DO SOMETHING, REMUS! GET HIM BACK! SAVE HIM!"

I screamed until my throat was raw, but Lupin did not let me go. "He can't come back, Darcy! He can't come back because he's –"

"HE – IS – NOT – DEAD!" I yelled and struggled, but he wouldn't let me go. Tears were cascading down my cheeks, getting in the cuts in my cheeks and making them burn. "Save him, Remus! Please, save him!"

I waited for Sirius to come back while I relaxed into Lupin's arms, pleading to God that Sirius would come back. I buried my face in Lupin's chest and then looked for Harry. I already saw him running out of the room after the cackling Bellatrix and I broke free from Lupin's grip and followed them both, Lupin running after me.

"_Crucio_!" Harry cried and Bellatrix only fell to the ground, laughing and panting.

I felt cold on the back of my neck and my hairs stood up. "Harry!"

Voldemort had materialized and out of one of the fire places in the Ministry's hall, Dumbledore appeared as well. Dumbledore pushed Harry to the side and from behind, Lupin wrapped his arms around me, pushing me out of the way as Dumbledore approached Voldemort.

Harry sat beside us and with Lupin's arms around me, I wrapped my arms around Harry, my tears falling in his dark hair. "It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Tom," Dumbledore told Voldemort loudly. "The Aurors are on their way."

"By which time I shall be gone," Voldemort grinned. "And you shall be dead."

Lupin's hold on my body tightened and Harry broke away from me, trying to crawl towards Dumbledore, but Dumbledore pushed him back. I cuddled into Lupin's body, trembling violently, holding back sobs.

Voldemort and Dumbledore cast spells at the same time, one red and one green, both meeting in the middle and brightening up the room, causing sparks to fly up in the air. I squinted and held onto Lupin's fragile body. They kept dueling back and forth, neither one defeating the other, neither one injuring the other. Harry crawled back over to me and I grabbed his hand.

I buried my face in Lupin's chest as Voldemort conjured the biggest fire I had ever seen. It took the shape of a serpent, and Dumbledore shielded it and from the fountain in the back of the room, Voldemort was surrounded by water and I was sure Dumbledore was going to drown the Dark Lord.

Voldemort was dropped to the ground and raised his arms. I breathed in and all the glass from all the windows around us shattered and Voldemort sent it flying at us. Dumbledore cast a spell and shielded all four of us, turning the glass to sand. We all covered our eyes.

Voldemort frowned and his eyes met mine and I trembled, gripping Harry's hand as tight as I could. He disappeared. For a minute, I thought he was gone and I let go of Harry's hand and stood up, but then I fell to the ground, writhing in pain.

I could see him in my mind; I could hear him talking to me - trying to take my body and mind over.

_Darcy…_

_So weak…_

I screamed again, memories rushing through me. Bad memories. Seeing Sirius die, Umbridge not believing me, Voldemort returning, almost being sent to Azkaban. He was taking me over; I was becoming Voldemort and I looked at Harry, feeling an incredible anger. Voldemort wanted me to kill Harry – that's what it felt like.

I grabbed my wand and struggled against Voldemort controlling my mind and body.

_So vulnerable_.

I could hear Lupin calling my name, but it sounded like he was so far away. In the distance.

_Look at me!_

_Do it now!_

Lupin rolled my body over and I choked on my breath, trying to rid Voldemort from my mind. Harry cowered in the corner and I pointed my wand at him, but brought it down slowly, screaming out in pain. Screaming for someone to kill me.

"Darcy…" Lupin whispered to me, running his fingers through my hair. I saw the rest of the Order and Dumbledore's Army run into the room, staring at me sadly and I looked at Harry again.

_Do it!_

I closed my eyes tight and thought of the happiest memories I could. Harry was alive and was fighting with me, dancing with Lupin at the Ball, my last year at Hogwarts… I screamed out again, begging Lupin to kill me.

"I won't!" Lupin pleaded. "Don't leave me, Darcy, I love you!"

I screamed again as I felt Voldemort leave my body and he materialized in front of me. Dumbledore, Harry and Lupin looked up as Voldemort pointed his wand directly at Harry.

As he began to speak, Ministry officials began to appear via the Floo Network and Voldemort took one look and split. Fudge, who was at the head of the group, froze and his eyes widened. After stuttering and stammering, Fudge gasped, "He's back."

Camera were flashing and Lupin helped me sit up; my head was pounding and I closed my eyes breathing heavily. Lupin cradled my head against his chest and as another camera flashed in my eyes, I passed out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When I woke up again the next morning, in the hospital wing, I found a table beside me with all kinds of flowers, cards, and candies on it. Harry and Lupin sat in two chairs to my left and Madam Pomfrey was attending to another sick boy in another bed and when I stirred, she glanced at me and smiled, and then returned to the boy.

I sat up and cleared my throat. "What's all this?" I asked. "How'd I get here?"

Harry smiled at me. "Gifts for you. Get well gifts from the D.A."

"But – but why?" I asked, inspecting the flowers.

"Because you need to get better," Harry answered. "Did you get your memory wiped, too? You almost died a few times last night."

"I remember," I growled. "But I didn't do anything. I don't deserve these gifts or to be – to be alive! We never rescued Sirius – Sirius is dead! He died! He's gone! I endangered all of your lives and I never wanted you to be hurt or injured! I didn't do anything… Sirius…" Tears suddenly filled my eyes and I wiped them away.

Harry gripped my hand, trying to get me to calm down. "Darcy," he breathed. "That was the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do. And when you told me to keep the Prophecy – you were willing to sacrifice yourself for me?"

"The bravest thing? The bravest thing?" I protested. "I risked everyone's lives! I did nothing brave!"

"But you – Remus – Dumbledore –"

"Dumbledore's back in charge, Darcy. And we're all fine. A little banged up, but fine," Lupin reassured me. "Don't you ever worry about yourself?"

"I'm fine!" I spat and Lupin simply smiled. "But you guys – is everyone else okay? Everyone's safe?"

"Here, Darcy, calm down," Harry sighed. "Here, have a Chocolate Frog –"

"No! I don't want a Chocolate Frog!" I yelled, pushing it away. Madam Pomfrey was trying to her best to ignore us, but the boy she had been tending to was staring. "I want to know why you think I'm a hero! You and everyone else shouldn't have even come with me! I should have gone by myself –"

"We knew what we were in for," Harry replied. "And so did everyone else when they signed up for Dumbledore's Army. I knew what I've been in for since I first got to Hogwarts with you."

The doors to the hospital wing opened again and I sat up, clenching my fists as Snape walked towards me. "_You_!" I shouted and Madam Pomfrey shushed me. "I needed you and you ignored me! I told you they had Sirius and you walked away! I trusted you and you –"

"Shh!" Madam Pomfrey said from another bed.

"You think I would actually try to help you in front of Umbridge?" Snape asked, raising his eyebrows. "That would have landed me in Azkaban – where you would have been, too."

I breathed heavily and Lupin cleared his throat and finished for Snape. "Darcy, he did help you," he told me and I looked at Lupin. "Who do you think told all of us that you were in trouble? And then we Floo'd Grimmauld Place and Kreacher said that Sirius wasn't in trouble… But when we went to go look for you, you guys were already gone. You had already flown to the Ministry."

"Why couldn't you tell me that?" I turned back to Snape, frowning. "I looked you in the eyes, hoping you'd send me some kind of message through my mind or something!"

"I thought you'd be smart enough not to drag several students along with you to the Ministry," Snape told me. "Where you _knew_ Voldemort wanted something from there. And Mr. Potter, the Headmaster wishes to see you."

As Harry and Snape left, Lupin moved closer to me and he grabbed my hand. "Tonks and I came to a mutual agreement," he said quietly. "I should be with you."

My heart stopped. "You're joking," I said. "Tonks wanted that or you did?"

"She said that I should be around more often," he told me. "You need more protecting than she does."

"She's upset, isn't she?"

Lupin breathed in deeply and shrugged. "She was a bit sad, but it's for the best, isn't it? She told me it was brave of you to go after Sirius like that," he added. "Especially because you didn't even know if he really was there."

"You're making me feel guilty. I never wanted to steal you from her. That's exactly what I was trying _not_ to do the entire year."

"So do you want me going back to Tonks? She told me it was better that I was with you and now you don't want me?" he frowned.

"No, that's not it," I replied quickly. "Sometimes, it's just nice feeling wanted."

Lupin smiled.

"You'll come back next year, won't you?" I asked and our faces turned red. "Just in case I need protected? I could use the help – Voldemort might try to possess me again. I'll need someone there to take care of me and tell me they love me at the last second."

"Oh yeah – uh – yeah – I, uh –" he ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I'll uh – I'll come, uh – if you need – uh – me."

"What's wrong?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, smiling slightly.

He smiled and got closer to me, touching my cheek, tucking hair behind my ear. "It's good to feel wanted sometimes."

"Remus," I whispered, reaching up to touch his face. He hadn't shaved in a while and I grinned. "I will _always_ want you. I _love_ you."

He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to mine. He pulled away for a second and sighed happily, "We'll see each other soon?"

"Of course."

"Let's hope it's not too long, hm?"

I smirked and kissed him again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius's death had numbed me and as the school year came to a close, people tried to keep me happy. Snape let me teach a class, Ron would play Exploding Snap with me, Fred and George helped me ride my broomstick, and Harry urged me to do one more D.A. meeting to finish up Patronuses and possibly even duel.

I waited until everyone had left the potions room that day so it was just me and Snape. He was filling his many vials of ingredients, making sure he had the right amount for next year. I remained in my seat, turning to face him.

"Thank you," I said quietly and I forced myself to say it. As much as I hated to admit it, Snape had done so much for me that year. "For – for, uh, everything."

Snape was quiet.

"I was wondering – maybe – I could come back… er – join you again next year?" I asked again and Snape turned around and the corners of his mouth just barely turned upwards. If I had blinked, I would have thought I had imagined it.

"We'll see," he said and that was good enough for me.


	25. Just Friends

**Well, hi! This is the final chapter of 'Just Friends' and I can't decide if I'm glad it's over or not… Either way, I had fun writing this. Excuse all the grammatical errors because it's 1:30 in the morning and when I reread this tomorrow, I'll fix them all in the morning after I sleep a bit longer. I hope you all enjoyed this story and the next one will be coming out ASAP. **

**JUST FRIENDS.**

"Hey, Darcy!" called Neville.

"That's Professor Potter to you," I teased and he smiled. I looked him over carefully. His temple was bandaged and his lip was split, but he looked healthy and alright. I smiled back. "What's up?"

"Are you – are you coming back to Hogwarts next year?" he asked me and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. We were walking to the Great Hall for the last dinner feast of the year.

"Maybe," I shrugged. "Professor Snape said 'we'll see'."

"I want to thank you," he continued. "I learned more from you than I have in any other class before. You really believed in me – you thought I really could do it."

"You can do anything you want, Neville, if you keep practicing," I told him.

"Well, I – I Stunned a Death Eater the other night," he grinned proudly and I patted his shoulder. "I did it! I Stunned quite a few, actually, and disarmed one."

"That's great! I'm glad you're safe, Neville."

"Well, I hope if you come back next year, you'll continue the D.A.," Neville said and I chewed on the inside of my lip. "I had a lot of fun in there. I made a lot of friends."

I sighed and looked at Neville. "Yeah, yeah, and if I don't come back next year, I'm putting you in charge, alright?"

"No!" he protested, but I laughed and he smiled. "Put Harry in charge or Hermione! They're so much better than me!"

"Neville, I was only joking," I chuckled.

"Right," he said nervously.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Umbridge was gone, so the seat next to me was empty. Lupin filled it for the last breakfast feast the next day. I finished the _Daily Prophet_ that my owl always brought to me and I folded it closed. I sighed happily and Lupin nudged me. "You did a good thing," he told me. "You really were brave."

"I'm just glad they've got the right story," I said. "They've even got an article dedicated to how I'm a down to earth person who's stronger than I look. That's a breath of fresh air."

"I'm happy for you," he whispered, kissing my cheek quickly.

I leaned over to Snape, who was on my other side, and I showed him the front page of the paper, where there was a picture of me and Harry, the headline above it reading, "_You-Know-Who Returns_".

"Did you read it yet?" I asked Snape with a smile. He stopped eating and took the paper out of my hands. "It's definitely something different."

He examined the front page and then opened the paper to the article with me in it. He read it over quickly and closed the paper again. "So the _Prophet_ is on your side again?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Finally."

Snape began to hand the paper back to me, but I pushed it away, shaking my head.

"Keep it," I told him. "You'll need something to remember me by this summer."

Snape scoffed and I snickered, turning back to Lupin. "You know," Lupin said. "I still don't understand why you're so nice to him."

"Because no one else is nice to him," I answered with a shrug. I lowered my voice so Snape wouldn't hear. "I've told you before, he's not that bad of a person."

"You're not going to leave me for him, are you?" Lupin teased. "You seem to have a thing for professors, yeah?"

"Not funny!" I retorted, but we laughed all the same.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I gently knocked three times on the door to Tonks's and Lupin's room. I knew Lupin was in my room so Tonks and I would be alone – he didn't know I was going to talk her.

She opened the door and looked surprisingly nice and put together. She didn't look upset or sad at all, really, and I was impressed. Had I suffered a break up with Lupin, I would have looked like the walking dead. "Hi," I said quietly and her eyes widened. I think she was generally impressed that I had finally made the first move and was the first one to speak to her. "Can we chat?"

Tonks nodded, although not as enthusiastically as she usually would have done. She led me in and we sat down on the couch. "Do you want something to drink? Or eat? You hungry?"

"No, thank you," I replied and looked away from her. I felt guilty and my heart beat faster. I was never really good with apologies. "Thank you for coming to the Ministry. You really did a good thing – you saved my life."

"I didn't," she told me. "I believe you could have made it out there alive – I was just there to make sure."

"Well, you've got more faith in me than most people." I smiled weakly at her and she returned the same, small smile. "Look, Tonks, I don't normally do this –" I stopped, not knowing where I was going with that speech. I simply looked at her, sighing sadly.

"Do what?" she asked after a short pause.

"Say I'm sorry. Say that I'm wrong."

"Wrong about what?" she shook her head. "If you're talking about Remus, then I have to agree. We came to an agreement, Darcy, about you. You're in need of protection more than I am. You need someone who will always be by your side, protecting you when you're in danger, and backing you up one hundred percent no matter what you do."

"But that's the thing," I said. "Everyone needs someone like that. I've got Harry. In my life, there are more important things that come before love –"

"_Nothing_ is more important than love, Darcy." Tonks stared at me and pursed her lips. "Love should come before everything. It's the reason you tried to save Sirius. It's the reason Remus went to save you. It's the reason he, Mad-Eye, and I are here. It's the reason Snape brought you back to Hogwarts. We want to protect you because we love you."

"But what about –"

"Nothing, Darcy. It's love that's keeping you safe at your aunt and uncle's house. It's love that is keeping you safe from Voldemort. Love is everything – without it, we are nothing. Without it, we can't overcome half the things we could if we did love."

"I don't –"

"I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you. I won't hold a grudge against you. Quite the opposite, actually," she continued. "I like you a lot and I think we could be great friends. But our situations and lives are much different and while I put myself into danger lots of times, it's nothing compared to the danger you are constantly in. Everyone feels, including myself, much better if you were to have someone around who could save you when you need saving."

"But I've got Harry! I feel guilty, Tonks!"

"Don't feel guilty," she smiled weakly again. "You've done nothing wrong. And we both know that Harry's only a child. He's grown up much faster than usual, but he is still only a child – a fifteen year old boy. A child who can't always come running after his sister. He can't protect you like you think he can."

"And what about him? What about his love? Shouldn't he need a protector?" I asked angrily. "I don't need a protector – I don't want Remus around if he only feels obligated to protect me. I want him around because he loves me and I love him."

"Harry's got you! And what's the difference, really?" she sighed. "He loves you, Darcy, and it's because he loves you that he wants to protect you. He doesn't want to see you hurt or dead. Did you see what he did at the Ministry? God, he nearly cried and I've never seen him cry before!"

I was silent. I stared at her. I never expected anything that mature to come out of her mouth. Annoying, loud, obnoxious Nymphadora Tonks was giving me the best advice that I had ever received in my life. "Are you sad?" I asked, but I wanted to take it back because it sounded so stupid.

"Sad?" she grinned and looked away for a moment. "I suppose I'm a bit upset, but I don't want to see you get hurt, either."

"And you're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." She breathed in deeply and then exhaled through her nose. "If you're wondering why I didn't just leave him when you two were, er – reunited, it was because I did love him. I do love him and I think I always will. He brings out the best of me and I'm always so happy around him, but it's not the same with him. Darcy, you two bring out the best of _each other_ and whenever you're the topic of conversation, you can see his mood lighten immediately, almost like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He's so much more relaxed…

"But like I said, I do love him. I love him a lot, but I know he doesn't feel the same way about me. It's sad, yes, but I know that I'll love again. It would be cruel to keep the man who truly loves you away from you. I'm not that kind of girl, Darcy. I couldn't do that to you. We're friends."

"Friends," I repeated under my breath.

"And if you're ever in trouble and one day, Remus isn't there to save you, I'll save you. I'll always be here if you need me." She smiled, despite the sadness in her eyes. "That's what friends do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I walked back into my quarters, tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. Lupin was waiting for me and he took me in his arms, wrapping them tight around me. I swallowed and breathed in. "Tell me you love me."

"I love you."

"Do you mean it?" I asked. "Do you really mean it?"

"Of course I do. I love you, Darcy."

I looked up at him. "Why are you with me? Why are you with me right now?"

"Because I – I love you!" he said, obviously confused. "What's going on? What's wrong? I don't understand –"

"I just want to make sure you're with me for the right reasons," I whispered, burying my face in his chest and staining his shirt with my tears. "I don't want you to be with me if you feel you just have obligations. I don't want you with me if you just feel that you have to protect me. I can protect myself."

"Darcy," he chuckled to himself. "You're mine, love. You're mine. It's not the fact that I feel obligated to protect you, but more the fact that I _want_ to protect you. If anything were to ever happen to you, I'd go mad. Absolutely insane. I want to protect you because I love you. Does that make sense?"

"I love you."

"And I love you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I stumbled off the train on Platform 9 3/4 , Lupin followed me off to make sure I got to Vernon and Petunia alright. I didn't want him to come – I didn't want to have to make introductions, but he insisted, so I let him.

As I walked up to my aunt and uncle, heaving my trunk, exhausted, Vernon's eyes widened. "What happened to your head?"

I had forgotten that I removed the bandages. One deep gash still remained on my cheek from where Lucius Malfoy's spell had hit me and there was a nasty, greenish colored bruise on my temple, from when he had thrown me to the ground. I touched it. "I fell," I lied.

Lupin scoffed. "Fell? Your niece took on several Death Eaters! And survived!"

Vernon stuttered and stammered, spit flying everywhere. "Death Eaters? What the ruddy hell are those?"

"Don't worry about it, Remus –"

"Who _are_ you?" Vernon asked again, eyeing up Lupin and I knew from my uncle's sneer that he did not approve of Lupin's shabby clothing.

"You mean – Darcy, didn't you tell them…?" he looked at me and I shook my head. Harry glanced at me and smirked, knowing Lupin needed to stop. I sighed and closed my eyes. "I'm Remus Lupin, her ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and –" When he saw me shaking my head and the deep dislike in my uncle's face, Lupin cleared his throat. Were we even official boyfriend and girlfriend material? "We're just friends." I squirmed uncomfortably. He stuck out his hand and gave Vernon a firm shake.

"Pleasure." I knew that Vernon despised him already. Petunia, hiding mostly behind her husband, looked me over carefully, eyeing my wounds and then looking quickly at Lupin.

"Darcy, don't you tell them anything?" Lupin asked quietly and then he turned to my uncle and aunt again. "Don't you realize what your niece and nephew have been doing, sir? Ma'am? Did you even know that Darcy returned as an intern for Professor Snape? Did you even know she graduated?"

Realization flickered in Aunt Petunia's eyes and she looked at me sternly. I looked at Harry. I wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep – even if it was on the floor.

"Of course we knew!" Vernon lied, his face turning purple.

"Stay in touch, won't you?" Lupin asked, touching my shoulder. "You'll write?"

Vernon heard this and snorted. "There will be no owls flying near our house! I don't want to raise suspicion!"

"Suspicion?" Lupin cocked an eyebrow.

"Just forget about it," I replied. "I'll try to send you some mail. I'll see if Max can find you. I'll send you the address to the –"

"_Oh no you won't_!" Vernon added when he overheard us speaking.

Lupin and I were at a loss for words as we stood there in a comfortable silence, staring at each other. Finally, he breathed quietly, "Am I allowed to kiss you goodbye?" He smiled. "I don't think I could make it a whole summer without a goodbye kiss."

I glanced back at my brother, who knowingly nodded and he began dragging his trunk towards the gateway, distracting my uncle and aunt, leading them towards the Muggle world for yet another summer.

"Come with me," he whispered, grabbing my hands as soon as they were out of view. "Come back to London with me."

"I can't," I frowned. "You know that… I have to stay with Harry."

Lupin sighed. "One day?"

"We'll see," I replied. I put on my serious face and bit my lip. "Promise you won't leave me. Promise you'll wait."

Lupin smiled. "Only if you promise to not leave me for Snape."

I scrunched my nose. "Someone's jealous, hm?" I asked and Lupin shrugged, his face turning slightly red. "You've got absolutely nothing to worry about. But I've got to go before the Muggles leave without me…"

"I'll see you next year?"

"Three months."

"Seems a long time to wait."

"Will you be able to make it?"

"I'll do my best."

I smiled at felt my face heat up as he leaned forward and kissed me on the crowded platform.


End file.
